Ashes 2017-18: Australia v England, first Test, day three – live!

87th over: Australia 213-7 (Smith 81, Cummins 2) Jake Ball to replace Anderson. After three overs? After the previous set? Is there something wrong with the attack leader? Questions for the lunch break. Last over from the Stanley Street End, I suspect, before the interval. Cummins forward in defence easily enough to begin the over. But wait – what’s wrong with the ball? They’re taking a look, the umpires review the situation and pop it through the hoops. It’s good to go. Not sure why they wanted to change it. “The only ball that has swung all match,” BBC’s Dan Norcross whispers to me walking past my desk. Nice drive from Cummins later in the over, Ball doing well to get a hand down to it in his follow through, saving four. He’s faced 18 balls now, Cummins. On strike for what will probably be the final one before lunch.

“I would love to see a general knowledge quiz between Shane Warne and Ian Botham!” writes David Brown. I suspect it would end with one or both of them throwing a kettle over a pub.

86th over: Australia 212-7 (Smith 81, Cummins 1) We’re about 12 minutes away from lunch. Broad will get a couple more of those. Smith and Cummins both grab singles into the leg side, the latter off the mark. I don’t think they have had the chance to leave a single delivery since the second new ball was taken.

85th over: Australia 210-7 (Smith 80, Cummins 0) Shout for leg before! Smith hit by Anderson, but denied. It’s high, he isn’t offering a shot, but Aleem Dar isn’t convinced and England aren’t reviewing. Another shout later in the over, but it is well down leg, they rotate the strike for the first time since Cummins arrived in the middle.

“I didn’t learn much off John Buchanan,” starts Shane Warne. Goodness me, how sad. He then rattles off a stat that if there are three maidens on the trot you are 85 percent more likely to take a wicket in the next over. It follows on from Warne saying the other day that he heard that in multiple choice questions, 85 percent of the time the answer is ‘B’. What a ~coincidence~.

84th over: Australia 209-7 (Smith 80, Cummins 0) Three maidens on the trot. Cummins in defence throughout. Broad, like Anderson, targetting the stumps rather than fishing for the edge.

83rd over: Australia 209-7 (Smith 80, Cummins 0) Very straight line from Anderson to Smith, who has to play at every delivery. A couple ended up on his pads, but nothing made of it.

We have an update from Phil Rawlinson, who had his flight to Brisbane cancelled earlier today. “To be honest I’m in a far from pleasant pub, but couldn’t care less with this, it is absolutely brilliant to watch this. Told the barman my predicament and he shrugged and charged me $11 dollars for a pint.” A qualified success, in the circumstances.

82nd over: Australia 209-7 (Smith 80, Cummins 0) Cummins leaves then defends to finish off the over. Spent a lot of time in the nets batting when out of action with the ball over the last few years. Has a huge job ahead of him now to support his captain. Ian Chappell is talking to Ian Healy about Stan McCabe on the telly. Probably the wrong colleagues to do that with – he didn’t know who Wally Hammond was yesterday.

(And thanks to the many people who picked up my score typo a couple of overs ago. Keeping me honest. Fair play to you.)

SCENES! Starc smacks Broad over his head for six – a mighty wallop from nowhere. Two balls later, he’s given a return catch! Leading edge, moves to his right and takes it low. Huge smile on Broad’s face as the Australian quick walks by and back to the sheds. Two wickets in two overs with the second new ball. What a pulsating session! Half an hour to go, as well.

81st over: Australia 202-6 (Smith 79, Starc 0) Starc sees out the first couple, using his bat both times. Can play, big Mitch, with nine Test half-centuries to his name in 37 Tests, averaging 25.

Oh Jimmy, Jimmy! Second new ball takes four balls to work for England, the master of the craft squaring up the Australian ‘keeper with a beauty. It kisses the edge and YJB is up to the task moving to his right with the one mitt. Gorgeous! Australia still trail by 100 and England are into the bowlers. Whoa!

80th over: Australia 200-5 (Smith 79, Paine 11) Moeen’s last over for now. Lovely clip from Smith gets him a couple, Australia to 200 in the process. It’s slow going, but you wouldn’t want Test cricket any other way than this. I was about to say “sets the scene for the series” but then I remembered how that would cut across what I said earlier. Bob Wilson had some views on that from Paris, and I’m grateful for them.

“That whole First Ball of Ashes palaver gets on my diddies. There’s only been one truly totemic single-ball starting signifier in the last half century of Test cricket and that was always the first ball of a Viv Richards innings. After the prolonged, dawdling torture of his arrogant, casual lope to the wicket, the leisurely taking of the guard and joco-serious flicker of pec and deltoid-flexing, all eyes turned to the poor bugger with the pill in his hand while Viv settled yawningly into his stance.

The poor bowler would vary from over-confident neophyte with his head full of ‘plans’, the martyred spinner ruing the wicket he had just taken, to the experienced old nag of a quick who felt the hope draining out of him as he ran up. But what never changed was the unholy laugh it always provoked. Imagine winning that victory before a ball was bowled. I miss a lot of things about Lord VIv but not least among them is what a titanic git he was.”

Mel Farrell just walked past to advise me that Glenn Maxwell is out for 278. Bowled by Steve O’Keefe. Boo! “But what are the chances Australia don’t get past 278?” she adds.

79th over: Australia 197-5 (Smith 76, Paine 11) Joe Root brings himself on for a little pre-second new ball trundle. Good shout, keep those quicks fresh. Smith grabs one to midwicket, but Paine isn’t going to be sucked in.

78th over: Australia 197-5 (Smith 76, Paine 11) We are three overs from the new ball, so this will be Moeen’s second of three overs in this spell. It’s a sedate one, Paine forward in defence throughout.

“Listening to TMS,” is Ben Hall, “I can’t help but note that boycott’s voice hasn’t changed a bit over the last thirty years; there’s no vocal fry. He sounds timeless. Like Odelay by Beck, you can’t put an age on him.” Speaking of TMS, a craaaaacking fact here from the best statto in the show, Andrew Samson.

77th over: Australia 197-5 (Smith 76, Paine 11) Very short leg-slip in play now, under a helmet. James Vince in there, I think. Incredible field for Ball’s first over after drinks, the aforementioned catcher joined by the ring of three men 20 metres off the rope at fine leg, backward square and forward square. Then two more to make six on that side of the wicket: a catching midwicket and a conventional mid-on. This is just fantastic stuff. And he’s into it straight away the catcher! Smith off the hip, but on the bounce.

So much going on here, leg slip is moved away and into silly point for the last ball, about 2 metres from the bat. Why has a silly point to a seamer? Who stands that close? Mind games! What does Smith do? Flicks to exactly where he moved from, of course, collecting a boundary to very-fine leg.

Meanwhile, some interesting Peter Handscomb comments on ABC this morning before play, discussing his dismissal. “I try not to worry about it too much bcause I faced 17 balls and I stuffed up one, and it just happened to be my dismisssal. The 16 before that I felt really good, my back foot was moving really nicely – I felt really good. My back foot was moving really nicely, played a couple of nice back-foot cover drives and cut shots. Everything was feeling good and I try not to worry too much about it. Move on and I know their game plan was to come at me, and now it’s just about combatting that and making a few runs.”

I’m sure Jimmy will be happy to hear this too. An early call, but I reckon that could be one of the contests of this series.

76th over: Australia 192-5 (Smith 72, Paine 11) Shoooot. Moeen Ali is into the attack for a quick one before drinks. Paine says ‘I’ll have a bit of that’, leaping onto his front dog to slay the second ball to the cover rope. Very pretty. He’s into double figures. Pats the rest away to end the opening hour, worth 27 runs and losing Shaun Marsh along the way. Fantastic Test cricket, this. Find a TV and stick with me.

75th over: Australia 188-5 (Smith 72, Paine 7) Paine gets another into the legside. He’s looking very comfortable out there for a bloke who was nowhere to be seen at domesic level a few weeks ago. What a story. Ball night need a blow here. A lot of effort banging in all those short balls early in his spell. Quite hot outside.

“I’d just like to second your ‘just do it’ suggestion to Dave Adams,” writes John Matthews. “Ignore the prices quoted by travel companies, buy your own tickets where you can and stay in backpackers hostels. £40 a day for a ticket at most, £20-30 living expenses/day. Cheap airlines will get you here-Norwegian to Singapore cheaply, and Scoot from there to Australia. And then you’re in to enjoy smiling stewards welcoming you to the grounds and friendly Aussies barracking Broad and Marsh with equal noise.”

Couldn’t agree more. I do the Australia-UK route about three times a year. If anything, it is getting cheaper. So yes, Dave, get yourself on a flight. I’ll buy you a beer in Adelaide.

Paul Billington is doing it right. “It’s a joy to have a Friday night to finally enjoy the OBO after a couple of evenings of waking up for work in the morning expecting the worst. I’m not sure if my optimism is borne of a healthyish evening on the ale or some genuinely good English cricket. Either way my wife is currently asleep on the sofa so I don’t have to explain Geoff Boycott to her again.”

74th over: Australia 187-5 (Smith 72, Paine 6) Chris Woakes. “It’s a modern-era Bodyline” says Mark Nicholas on the commentary. Pretty strong words. Suspect this will blow up into a fairly big story. But Smith isn’t tempted when getting on strike after Paine picks up another single to square leg. “He’s changed his technique a lot,” Clarke says of Tim Paine. Notes that he has a higher back lift and makes a more pronounced movement back and across before the ball is bowled. The former Aussie skipper is very good when talking about the technical side of the game.

73rd over: Australia 186-5 (Smith 72, Paine 5)

Uppercut! Well, Smith has attempted it but made no contact to yet another Ball bouncer. Gee, this is good stuff. Three out at square, backward square and fine leg, but all 20-30m in from the rope, encouraging the Australian captain to take them on. He’s happy to get under the next short one, then defend on the back foot to see the over out. Maiden.

Paul on twitter is moulding his life around the cricket. “I’m a teacher adjusting to the tradition (est 2010) of going to bed early/waking at 3am for Ashes tours. I’ve always found these hours quite productive for marking, etc. Wondered if any other OBOers adopt peculiar work patterns for away series.”

That makes sense. You always read that one trait of hyper-successful people is that they get up early, right? Expect a promotion by the midle of January. I bet Glenn Maxwell gets up early, he’s 261 having just hit a square drive for six at North Sydney.

72nd over: Australia 186-5 (Smith 72, Paine 5) They are really going to give Smith a work out here with the short stuff, multiple catchers in and around the bat on the leg side. But he controls a pull first ball, off strike with one to backward square. He’s back on strike later in the over, and on the back foot throughout.

71st over: Australia 183-5 (Smith 70, Paine 4) Jake Ball on for his first jam roll today. Good bouncer at Smith from the first change. Really hit the deck hard and nearly won a chance. High on the bat, the skipper just gets it down in front the cordon. They’ve going upstairs to Smith quite a bit here. Great contest. Paine’s turn later in the over and he’s off the mark with a cut past backward point. That’ll feel good.

Big Show update. Yesssss.

70th over: Australia 177-5 (Smith 69, Paine 0) “Despite what Kevin Pietersen says, we love being here!” says Michael Slater on the telly about Brisbane. KP called it a “shithole” in the local tabloid the other day, in case you missed it. Woakes is on, replacing Broad. Smith off-strike first ball of the set, around the corner again with a flick. Again, Paine looking alright in defence.

Rhys Cooper has dropped me a line. “I’m moving my life, and few possessions, from Melbourne to Brisbane via a three-day toad trip. Just happened upon Cootamundra (Bradman’s birthplace), and took a stop to amble along their “Captain’s Walk”. Clarke has a sculpture but no plaque. I’m hoping that today Smith bolsters the statistics that will one day be immortalised in Cootamundra. Whose bust do you think will follow Smith’s? No obvious contenders for me.”

Jason Sangha. Or Will Pucovski. I do like cricket sculptures.

69th over: Australia 176-5 (Smith 68, Paine 0) Smith gets the first run for four overs, helping Anderson around the corner for a single to fine leg after getting well inside the line of the delivery. Paine leaves the remainder. Looking alright to begin.

Phil Rawlinson is living a nightmare, his flight to Brisbane cancelled by Tiger Air, so he’s missed out on a day at the Gabba. “Any recommendations for a decent place to watch in Sydney would be well received!” he asks. Maybe the Courty in Newtown?

Insted, let’s help him out. Who has a couch for Phil to sit on and enjoy the cricket and chat? This could be a nice thing to do. Let’s forge a lifetime friendship through the OBO.

68th over: Australia 175-5 (Smith 67, Paine 0) Great fact from Mark Taylor on Nine, noting that Tim Paine – the new man in, and what a story – batted in front of Steve Smith when they debuted together at Lord’s in 2010 against Pakistan. They have a job to do now after Marsh gave it away. Such a good bit of bowling, setting Marsh up the over before with a series of cutters, including one that collected an inside edge. Wicket maiden.

Gone! Caught at mid-off! Marsh has been done by some cagey bowling there, enticed into a drive but the pace is taken off the ball. The miscue lands in the hands of Broad’s old mate at mid-off. Once again, England have been rewarded for sticking to a plan.

67th over: Australia 175-4 (Smith 67, Marsh 51) Anderson back of a length to Smith, which has been his approach all morning. But it is all part of his plan, Smith lured into a very loose stroke outside the off-stump. Beats his bat. That would have been a dreadful way to go after doing all the hard work yesterday. Back to back maidens.

66th over: Australia 175-4 (Smith 67, Marsh 51) Tidy maiden. Best over of the morning so far. Marsh forced to use his bat to each delivery, Broad trying to deck the older ball away from the the left-hander.

65th over: Australia 175-4 (Smith 67, Marsh 51) Marsh doing everything right, and has deserved his half-century, brought up with three more through the off side, driven past point. 158 minutes and 133 balls to reach the milestone, with eight boundaries along the way. His eighth Test 50 and first in Ashes contests. Nice job.

“Just got in from a noisy musical fund raising night in our local hall,” writes Gareth Davies. “Ah, the balm of cricket. No BT Sport so straight on to you. Reading cricket is the new watching.” It sure is. Great to have your company. Tell ur m8s, as they say.

Meanwhile at North Sydney, Glenn Maxwell is up to 232 for Victoria. I know that because Geoff Lemon is sitting next to me watching that on his phone rather than the game in the middle. Good life decision. He’ll break Lara’s 501 by tea. Go you good thing.

64th over: Australia 171-4 (Smith 66, Marsh 48) Broad from the Vulture Street End. Sprays one down leg to Marsh in loosening up, then back on his spot. The Channel Nine cameras zoom in on his wife. Oh, they’ll like that: on the back foot, Marsh leans back and strikes a crisp cut behind point for four. Super timing, the TV technology showing that it hit the very middle of his blade. Later in the over, Smith at the non-strikers’ end stops Broad from delivering when he noticed the fielder at backward point shuffling backwards during the bowler’s approach. Can’t do that. “Great game awareness,” says KP. Adding that Broad’s chilled out response would have been a bit different if this were his fifth over and not his fifth ball.

63rd over: Australia 167-4 (Smith 66, Marsh 44) Smith immediately away with a couple through cover. Anderson is back of a length and Boycott is getting stuck into him on the BT Sport commentary. Might flick my earpiece over to Channel Nine for the duration of his stint. Yep, good idea.

“I AM SO EFFING EXCITED!” The email subject from Richard Williams. “Evening from Berlin. Is there a better feeling than an Ashes Test down under knowing you don’t have to get up for work tomorrow?! Seriously though, for all the hype, I am genuinely enjoying a proper Test Match. No chance the bar I’m in will show it so I’m I’m resigned to being the unsociable wanker in the corner following the OBO trying to explain to the locals the glorious game.”

I’m tipping we’d get on very well in real life, Rich. Lovely sentiment. Enjoy it.

You know what, I’m effing excited too. The players are OUT ON THE FIELD and we can get this party started. Will Shaun Marsh survive? Is Steve Smith on autopilot for a big one? Can Jimmy bowl as well as he did yesterday and get into the home side’s soft underbelly? PLAY!

How do they do it?

“Evening Mr C,” Andy Palin, good evening to you. “Pray tell. How the hell do they play Aussie rules and rugby league in the ground without trashing the hallowed (curiously dead) wicket? After my most recent 4:30am early mornings with both OBO and TMS, I’ve had a few hours to mull this over and frankly can’t be arsed to Google….. Have not got a Scoobie. Please enlighten! With thanks from under my duvet, (typing that, that sounds quite wrong).”

As it happens, the Gabba is one of a couple of Test grounds with that problem in 2017. Most venues now rely on drop-in wickets including, sadly, both the MCG and Adelaide Oval. I don’t have a specific answer for you, but I’m tipping we have someone within our vast readership here who can detail how they turn the squares around so quickly between footy and cricket? Only takes a few weeks at local level.

“Going to Australia for the Ashes has been a dream for me since watching highlights of the 90-91 series,” dreams Dave Adams on the email. “It just looks a fabulous place to see cricket, even if you’re English/losing. Problem is, at the current rate of ‘saving’ I’ll have enough money by about 2050, when I’ll be in my 70s. More importantly, I can’t see test cricket lasting that long. Do you think the Ashes will endure long after other countries have given up? Or will the powers that be go for some mixed format monstrosity like they have in the women’s game? If that’s the future I’d not bother.”

Now, now. The multiformat Women’s Ashes has been a huge success. But the difference is that the squads tend to be relatively similar between the three formats. That’s definitely not the case in the blokes, so don’t worry about that. As for your financial issue. As a very broke 20-year-old backpacker in 2005 I decided it was a good decision to go $800 deeper into debt to attend day one at Lord’s. No regrets. Just come, mate.

20 minutes away from the re-start. So let’s slowly start pivoting to the cricket. Very slowly, as I’m enjoying your emails about Brisbane music ever so much. A lot of ‘right click / listen to that later’ going on at my desk. Crowd slowly coming in. There are clouds, but the very bright sun is burning through them at a decent clip.

“Deeply concerned about the OBO’s current sub-head: ‘Root’s meticulous approach pays Ashes dividends for England’, writes Paul Harrison. “If Smith goes on to make a double hundred, I know who to blame. Hubris.”

Well, given that when Smith gets to 50 he averages about 1000, a fair chance that’s exactly what’ll happen. Had a long chat to him for Wisden Cricket Monthly a few weeks back, an extract running in last Sunday’s Observer. If that’s your kind of thing.

OBO regular Johnny Starbuck has popped his head in. “Not sure if I can take a load of philosophy chat, as we had a fair bit in the last series in 2017. Maybe if we restricted it to Australian philosophers (not from the University of Woolomoloo)?” Sir Les Patterson, say?

Probably should give you a look at what I wrote overnight as well. On the short ball. Sure, it got Australia going yesterday, but they missed a trick when failing to put it away.

Correlation, causation, etc.

“First balls of the Ashes are like new managers winning their first games,” tweets Dennis Johns at me. “Players scoring against their old clubs and the singles post-1995-REM released to hide the album dross to come: you only remember the memorable ones.”

Very good. Although I’ve been guilty of wanting to see coaches of football teams I support given the boot in order to get the sugar hit of a win the next week.

“I’ve got a fridge named after The Go-Betweens,” says 4Boat, also on the tweet.

I want to get two dogs and name them Shane and Angel. I wonder if anyone has done that with fraternal twins? Or Kylie and Jason? Or Brenda and Brandon? I shouldn’t devote actual time to thinking about this stuff, but I do.

Tim Grey has another Brisbane band for us. “I can thoroughly recommend this mob, Some Jerks.” Never say no to a recommendation issued thoroughly. Let’s give it a spin.

Weather.

Question about the forecast in from Francis Frears who is a bit worried we might not start on time (9:58am local time, that is). “A cynic might suggest it does look promising for a supposedly weak England team looking to get out of the gabba without losing the First Test.” Frankie. Don’t be like that. They’re going great.

It’s steaming hot outside. Sweat-through-your-shirt stuff. But you’re right to say that there are storms in our future, according to the Bureau of Meteorology, so we’ll back them in. But after lunch at the earliest, by my reading of the radar.

A lot better than local knowledge on these matters. Living somewhere for a long time, I strongly believe, does not mean you can predict the weather. Speaking of, my colleague Daniel Norcross from BBC Test Match Special was told by an old boy before yesterday’s play that “it never spins at the Gabba on day two.” Clearly nobody told Nathan Lyon.

First email of the morning. For that you get into the OBO word for word, Andy Battershill. I’m loyal like that.

“I got a rare shout out yesterday and predicted that an early wicket would see England out for below 300,” he recalls. “Well, there was an early-ish wicket and it was 302 so close enough. So now happily installed at Delphi, I am predicting that the runout by Nathan Lyon on day one was the decider in this Test and series: England will be around 30 short of a match-winning score and Oz will take the Ashes 2-1. But can I predict based on a previous event or is that extrapolating?”

Nice philosophical poser to get us going. I vaguely touched on this with what I wrote on night one about the mythology around opening days/balls of Ashes series. We like to think they define the series-at-large. Sometimes they are, but mostly they aren’t.

“Whilst that is bouncing my brain,” Andy continues, “I found this earlier which I would like to share any readers unfamiliar.” Motörhead covering Bowie? In you go, sir.

Standing room only on this bus.

There’s a bloke wearing a 1994-95 Australian ODI shirt down. I might ask to buy it off his back (I’ve done this before). A point of minor obsession for me, that summer.

Realise it looks like I’m being a bit mean about Brisbane in the rambling preamble. I’m actually very fond of the joint. Not least their music: they have a bridge named after The Go-Betweens, for instance. I neglected to give you a song off the top, but mainline some of this into you to get up and about for the day we have ahead with locals Violent Soho.

Gooooood morning from Brisbane for day three at the Gabba. Adam Collins with you here to steer the OBO through the first half of it. I’ve been reading on the last couple of days very much looking forward to my little frolic with you all. I’ll play my shots if you play yours, so hit me up throughout at the usual places: email in the old money, twitter the new.

Given we have an hour and a half from going live to the first ball (well, 88 minutes technically due to the day one rain) we should be able to get through plenty. For my part, I’m going to jump on a public bus to the ground and document that very-Brisbane experience for you. On this corresponding day at last year’s Gabba Test people were removing their shoes, pouring their beers into them, and skolling. Couldn’t make it up.

I hope they have voted before coming in, for it is State Election Day in the Sunshine State of Queensland. And if you don’t think that isn’t going to feature throughout our journey together this morning, then you haven’t been reading my OBOs. Check out the Ashes Diary to get more a taste of the loosest cricket ground going around.

On the field, you ask? Well, as Morrissey might sing if he were commenting on the state of play (humour me): Some Sessions Are Bigger Than Others. The hosts are 137 behind England’s 302. They had an excellent last couple of hours with Steve Smith joined by Shaun Marsh for some old-fashioned digging in after falling to 76 for 4 just after tea. The very definition of perfectly poised. We could have ourselves a classic coming up.

Righto, I better nip to the bus stop. To get us going, Ali has written about Joe Root’s plan for the Aussie top order coming together perfectly, which I recommend for him getting Alf Stewart and Usman Khawaja into the same sentence. Talk to you in a bit. Can’t wait.

Adam will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s Ali Martin on the English captaincy.