We all have our doubts and insecurities. Consider the stable boy who thinks he’s a bit unstable.
What if I’ve been dead wrong all these years? What if sports TV execs favor those who don’t shut up as a matter of assiduous research leading to good hires?
What if such nonstop noise within a visual medium actually enhances broadcasts, thus making good sense? You tell me.
The Giants-Dolphins game last Sunday featured two needy teams, as evidenced by the NFL’s new graveyard status, with a sensible 1 p.m. start, yet still designated to be seen in two large TV markets, here (No. 1) and Miami-Ft. Lauderdale (No. 16).
Third quarter, Dolphins up, 10-3, first down for the Giants at Miami’s 35. The handoff goes to Saquon Barkley who runs straight ahead for no gain.
It’s another self-evident, post-injuries carry by Barkley. No apparent vision, no apparent plan, no apparent blocking, no nothing.
But Daryl “Moose” Johnston, in his 20th year with Fox and working himself down the analyst’s depth chart, couldn’t help but tether the play to a long speech:
“And that’s just something I think the Giants’ offensive contingent has to get more creative with in the run game.” That would have been fine, but he continued:
“Because — we talked about this in the first half — you’ve gotta do some things that are kind of tricky, because it’s going to be hard for you to line up, man-on-man, and knock these Dolphin defenders backwards, and that’s not just who you are, right now.
“And plays like that — and Coach Judge just talked to (sideline reporter) Jen Hale about it, staying ahead of the chains — those are the types of plays we’re talking about, the zero gains, the minus-ones, because you’re getting stubborn with traditional runs.”
Johnston, who, as always, talked all game, whistle to snap, stopped only because the next play had begun.
That play, a pass thrown far out of bounds against a blitz, was followed by a replay showing that. Regardless, a speech!
“Yeah, they just do a nice job of finding that person and overloading. Right now, they’re going to go against Andrew Thomas, the left tackle.
“He’s gotta sit this, right down the right side. The back comes in. Which one are you gonna take? So you put the running back and Andrew Thomas in a combination of three guys coming and there’s only two of you.
“You gotta get to the inside people, first. And you can kinda soft-play that, give your quarterback more time. But a really nice job by the Dolphins, understanding who to put the pressure on when they overload a side.”
Mercifully, the next snap came. For my two senses, the most palatable moments came when a no-huddle offense eliminated Johnston’s speeches.
But what if I’m wrong? What if most sports fans love the endless and anticipated drones of a Moose Johnston, a John Smoltz, a Mark Schlereth, a Brian Griese? Or the contradictory nonsense of an Alex Rodriguez?
Maybe it was a good idea for CBS to dump Dan Fouts and for YES to jettison Jim Spanarkel for their useful, concise, no-gimmicks analysis.
In Johnston’s case, Fox execs likely have ignored or indulged his excesses for 20 years — not that those who do the hiring and firing knew or know bad from worse in the first place.
Does anyone try to throw them some help, the kind that would save them from themselves and save us from them?
Does anyone actually listen to the telecasts, taking notes for discussion and advice?
Poor hires are made, then left untreated. But would the shot-callers be capable of making helpful suggestions, such as, “Stop talking so much. Remember, it’s TV, not radio”? You know, stop! — in the name of love?
But what do I know? I just work here.
This blowout is gonna hurt Geno, UConn
Connecticut women’s basketball coach Geno Auriemma finally took some media heat for playing his starters well after a game had been won.
During a 19-point win Sunday over Notre Dame, UConn star Paige Bueckers was lost for six to eight weeks with a knee injury suffered in the last minute of the game.
But such criticism is a case of total hindsight. After all, Auriemma for years has played his starters deep into blowouts of 35, 40, or 50 points to media silence.
He has consistently been an overkill artist — so much so he strikes me as cruel to the kids on his bench as well as his needlessly humiliated opponents — with the state school’s blessings and millions of bucks in annual salary and perks.
Auriemma’s explanation — Bueckers wants to play every minute of every game — was pathetic. She, not he, calls the shots?
But for media to choose this episode to finally ask why is so easy it doesn’t count.
Mac and Jeez: Fox Sports 1 gasbag Colin Cowherd’s take before this year’s NFL draft on Alabama QB Mac Jones:
“Mac Jones is not gonna work, folks. Just not gonna work. You gotta come to terms with it; it’s just not gonna work.”
Cowherd this past Tuesday: “Folks, young Mac Jones looks like young Tom Brady you need to put your arms around it, because that’s exactly what it looks like.”
From the movie, “Son of Francesa-stein.” (Source of video and audio: @BackAftaThis on Twitter.)
Context, say it with me, “CON-text.”
An ESPN scroll this week noted that Michigan DE Aidan Hutchinson is the first defensive Heisman Trophy finalist “since Chase Young, in 2019.” Gee, how time flies. Seems it was only last season when Young won NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year.
At the start of Eagles-Jets, CBS’s Andrew Catalon told us that Jet’s QB Zach Wilson, “has not thrown a touchdown since Week 4, against Tennessee.”
Guess it didn’t matter that he’d since missed four games to injuries.
Missing the shot after a big shot
What does it take, other than paying attention, to present the most viewer-anticipated shot?
The Blues-Panthers game Saturday on the NHL Network closed to sensational action from St. Louis defenseman Robert Bortuzzo. As overtime concluded with Florida in a four-on-three, Bortuzzo, who’d lost his stick, skated everywhere to block shots and otherwise prevent good shots until OT ended in a tie.
Next, before the shootout, there was no other shot worth seeing than Bortuzzo skating back to his bench, likely to the appreciation of his teammates. Instead, we saw a so-what shot of the Panthers’ bench. Aargh!
CBS’s top college football team of Brad Nessler and Gary Danielson, as heard throughout the Georgia-Alabama game on Saturday, are easy on the better senses. No Genuine Pigskin Gibberish, just nuts and bolts info, pleasant dispositions and heads-up observations. Too bad such is trending extinct.
Sunday, Fox’s Chris Myers noted that the Giants and Dolphins are among the “leaders” in dropped passes. Think that has anything to do with those preposterous QB passing ratings, in which the Dolphins are 20th and the Giants 27th?
The Hornets took 51 3-pointers — 59 percent of their shots — in a loss to the Bucks last week. In a December 2001 game versus the Bucks, the Hornets attempted 12 3s. That was before basketball “evolved” to what it is today.
I recently asked, here, why “columnist” needs to include an “n.” Reader Alan Hirschberg knows, but writes that he won’t tell me until “next autumn.”