41st over: England 124-4 (Root 50, Stokes 28) In which Stokes stands still and just flays the ball through the covers for four. There are some delicious strokes being played at the moment, but the batsmen are also getting away with a few loose strokes. Another chance goes a-begging here, Stokes edging straight to where third slip would have been if there was a third slip. Four.
39th over: England 114-4 (Root 50, Stokes 18) Root completes his 50 with a lovely shot through midwicket for four. That’s 12 consecutive Tests in which he has scored at least a half-century, a feat equalled by AB de Villiers and never beaten. Meanwhile, I can’t believe there has been a lengthy discussion of theme tunes without mention of the Mozart of the genre (these things are subjective, but still), Keith Mansfield. Yes, Grandstand wasn’t a cartoon, but this is just beautiful.
39th over: England 108-4 (Root 45, Stokes 17) Hello OBO world! And I’m greeted with a drop! Roach bowls to Stokes, and it flies off the edge, zipping just wide of the right shoulder of Brathwaite at second slip, where the fielder gets fingers to it but no more. The ball keeps going on its merry way to the boundary, and just to rub it in the next is clobbered through cover.
38th over: England 100-4 (Root 45, Stokes 9) Bishoo getting some good turn – beating Root on the outside edge – before the skipper drops to one knee and sweeps hard and square. Shannon Gabriel, full of overs, doesn’t bother dipping down to use his hands. Instead, he sticks out one of those size 14s, stops the ball dead and fields at his leisure. And with that, I’m off. Simon Burnton takes over with the players away for drinks and the hundred up for England. Thanks for your company.
37th over: England 98-4 (Root 43, Stokes 9) An eventful over, that. Stokes powers Roach down the ground on one knee for four. A few balls later, Stokes chases a very wide ball and someone nails the ground just as the ball is passing the bat. The West Indies appeal but with no great vigour. Ultra Edge shows a loud noise which no doubt features a bit of willow on dirt. But what of leather?
Innocent Bystander (@InnoBystander)
The lack of hotspot showing up the deficiencies of DRS this summer… #engvwi
36th over: England 93-4 (Root 42, Stokes 5) Our first sighting of the leg spin of Devendra Bishoo. Root plays him like they’ve been sparring for years: on the front foot, timing him through midwicket for four.
Some tragic news from Effingham Cricket Club. Last Saturday, they lost one of their senior players Mark Colin, who was taken ill during 1st XI match. Mark sadly passed away later that afternoon at Kings College Hospital, London.
Given the generosity of the OBO, I thought I would share the page his club have set-up for donations for the benefit of Mark’s family and to his commemoration. Details of how you might be able to help can be found here.
35th over: England 86-4 (Root 36, Stokes 4) Just two from the over but both are wides from Holder. Seems to be a bit out of sorts since the wicket of Malan.
34th over: England 84-4 (Root 36, Stokes 4) Gorgeous from Root. Gabriel’s tail is up, digging one in just back of a length. Root, casual as you like, rocks forward, back and pirouettes into a pull behind square for four.
“If we’re going all sci-fi, writes Bob O’Hara, “why not just clone Sir Geoffrey, with promotors to increase expression of extra melanin in his skin? It’ll make everybody happy.”
33rd over: England 80-4 (Root 32, Stokes 4) Stokes off the mark in vintage Stokes fashion. Holder’s full, Stokes is at him, lashing him in the air through midwicket. Might have been caught by the fielder there, sure. Might also be hit by a bus when he crosses the street later today.
32nd over: England 76-4 (Root 32, Stokes 0) Gabriel beats Root gloriously first ball but, three deliveries later, the bowler over steps and serves a full toss that is guided through the covers for four.
James Walsh writes in with some high concept sci-fi hi-jinks regarding Ian Bell: “I know he’s struggled all season and has just quit the Warwickshire captaincy, but could we recall 2013 era Ian Bell to the number 5 spot and the summer 2011 era Ian Bell to number 3 please? This complicated high-concept sci fi gambit, along with recalling Hameed to open, will see us very much sorted out for the Ashes, though there could be complications involving team spirit and whether the current Ian Bell would be happy to be 12th man.”
Could get 2005 Ian Bell too – he was a dab hand at short leg.
31st over: England 72-4 (Root 28, Stokes 0) After all that, one from the over, and it’s a wide. Stokes gets one drive away but too square and right to point.
A break for some nonsense as the screen behind the bowler refuses to turn all white, instead staying fixed on the sponsor’s logo. Ben Stokes isn’t impressed. An old bloke nearly does himself a mischief trying to fix it. The crowd laugh and then boo as the minutes drift away. Nick Cook, fourth umpire, steps out and sorts it straight away.
Alex Klymyszyn (@AlexKlymyszyn)
Not a problem in English cricket NGB Cook can’t solve
30th over: England 71-4 (Root 28, Stokes 0) Gabriel backs up Holder’s work in the previous with a maiden to Joe Root. It probably shouldn’t have been one, to be fair: a full toss was skewed into the shins of second slip when it could have been slapped into the rugby ground.
Richard (@theskiver)
@Vitu_E It would appear that reports of the death of West Indian cricket have been greatly exaggerated…
29th over: England 71-4 (Root 28, Stokes 0) Shape for Holder – West Indies have been working on this ball well – and reward for their diligence. Not really sure what Malan was trying to do other than survive for most of his innings. Undone by movement off the pitch but, still, it was a slack drive. Failures for all three of England’s new picks.
Not good, that. Holder comes around the wicket and entices Malan into a drive. The issue is the angle, as the ball comes in to the left-hander as he is playing the shot. It nips in a touch and takes the inside edge onto the off stump. All in all, a grim innings from the Middlesex man.
Malan , bowled by Holder for eight. Photograph: Lee Smith/Action Images via Reuters
28th over: England 71-3 (Root 28, Malan 8) A loosener to start for Shannon Gabriel, too. Malan throws his hands at it to dismiss it firmly through point.
“So it seems this one is not a day/night Test!” Slept in, Ian Copestake? “Just when I welcome change into my bed as the new norm it turns out change was just a tease and we are back to absurdly early 11am starts on a Friday! Some consistency would be nice to alleviate the numbing pain of confusion currently twisting my melon.”
27th over: England 66-1 (Root 28, Malan 3) Start as they mean to go on? Jason Holder gets the second session underway with a front foot no ball that Root smashes through square cover. Tom v d Gucht is back with some cartoon chat (sorry, David Keech):
“Having had a quick glance at Wikipedia, the source of most of my limited knowledge, I spotted that the composer of Battle of the Planets was as productive a composer as Levi, writing the tunes for: the Flintstones, Top Cat and the Smurfs. Wasn’t there a rumour that Pigeon Street had its theme written and performed by Paul McCartney?” OBO world, help a brother out.
Root takes to the field after lunch. Photograph: Lee Smith/Action Images via Reuters
Right all – just back from lunch to another load of emails. David Keech up first.
“Sorry but cartoon music leaves me as cold as an overly frigid brass monkey in the depths of Siberia so here’s a cricket related email.”
“The Sky commentary team are pointing out how incredibly often England are two or more down in their first innings before reaching 50. They are saying they don’t know why. In my opinion its not as simple as poor players or bad batting. Use modern data mining to really analyze. If the opposition bowl properly, the new ball attack is at its most threatening at the start of an innings. How often are they out to a really good ball vs. bad shot / technical weakness? How many play and misses, drops etc.? The later order has it much easier against an older ball not doing as much against, in the absence of a Shane Warne class spinner, second string bowlers. Its maybe not surprising that, Root and Cook aside, England batting strength is Stokes to Woakes.”
26th over: England 61-3 (Root 24, Malan 3) Class from Root. No matter that it’s the last over before lunch. There are runs to be had. Chase tempts him with two full balls. The first is punched into the covers for two. The second is driven purposefully down the ground, full face of the bat, for four.
Mojo Wellington (@MojoWellington)
@Vitu_E I remember Swann saying he and Prior spent many hours behind the stumps discussing cartoons, so I feel like a test cricketer now.
We’ve made a few Test cricketers in that session – one that belongs to West Indies. That being said, the one error they made was a doozy: Root dropped at slip when on eight. He’s looked class ever since. I’m off to forage. Simon Burnton will be back to start the session after lunch. I leave you with this from James Blake: “These days, I often can’t remember where I left my keys but can still somehow recite almost all of the uplifting Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers theme tune and, perhaps more worryingly, often do so…”
25th over: England 54-3 (Root 17, Malan 3) Holder to Malan. You know what happened. Malan’s faced 30 balls for that three. Is he still awake?
I’m not sure if David Mills, Chris Monks of David Hindle are friends, but they’ve all dropped into my inbox in the last two minutes to suggest Star Fleet. And with good reason:
24th over: England 54-3 (Root 17, Malan 3) Another maiden has Root tries, twice, to beat midwicket with a whip off an off-stump ball from Chase (free-ish hit what with the lack of turn). Finds the fielder on both occasions.
Apologies to Joseph Surtees for the delay (and others on Twitter – I’m a bit behind on there). But this is a heck of a shout:
Joseph Surtees (@JosephSurtees)
@Vitu_E The best cartoon theme tune is obviously Pinky & the Brain. It also sounds superb in Russian — https://t.co/HvAKJ6dX68
23rd over: England 52-3 (Root 15, Malan 3) Bit of shape into the left-hander from Holder. Certainly something for Malan to cover as he makes a move across his stumps to play forward. Are either/both getting paid by the maiden? That’s another one these two have played out.
“My favourite cartoon was Count Duckula,” writes Robin Hazlehurst, “though not necessarily for the theme tune (get those 80s synths!). Very funny as I remember it, and voiced by David Jason, so classes as proper serious light entertainment too.”
22nd over: England 52-3 (Root 15, Malan 3) Seam doing the business so Roston Chase, part-time off spinner comes into the attack. I don’t get it. A full toss is swept around the corner by Root for four through fine leg. I just don’t get it.
21st over: England 44-3 (Root 8, Malan 2) More of Malan’s possum act as he plays out another six dots.
“A rather unfortunate drop there,” writes Romeo. “But I wouldn’t have done any better.” I don’t know – it couldn’t have been easier. “A theme tune for the ages, and the aged: Bill and Ben, the Flowerpot Men…”
20th over: England 44-3 (Root 8, Malan 2) Umpire Ravi threatens not to wide an atrocious delivery down the leg side from Gabriel. Thankfully, sense returns to him in time to streth out those arms. Just as the over looks to be dying down, Root is put down at first slip by Kieron Powell! What an awful, awful, awful, awful, awful awful drop. Finally, Root makes a mistake but all the hard work and pressure West Indies have built up has disappeared. Just like that. Root was walking off…
Simon – you’re a man after my own heart…
Simon F. Davies (@SFD85)
@Vitu_E got to vote Cap. Bucky O’Hare for best cartoon theme song https://t.co/DtxS9V7h6Q He goes where an ordinary rabbit wouldn’t dare
19th over: England 43-3 (Root 8, Malan 2) Malan looking to learn from the mistakes of fellow newbies Stoneman and Westley. He’s not driving. No sir. Not before lunch. It’s a maiden to Holder, who replaces Roach this time.
Chris Goater emails in, straight to the point: “All your readers are wrong. The greatest cartoon theme tune is this one.
[embedded content]
“And incidentally, ‘always five, always one’ might be a useful guide to the sum two-innings score of most of Cook’s opening partners…”
18th over: England 43-3 (Root 8, Malan 2) Root grafting, but still managing to get the ball into gaps. A deflect off the back foot to third man, as Gabriel ticks over the 85mph mark, should only be one, but good running from Malan and Root ensure there’s a second run.
Luke Davies from Vietnam – full disclousre, we used to go to school together – might have won this round: “Don’t have twitter but you’ve surely got to get a mention of The Poddington Peas theme tune in the OBO at some point! Had it as a ringtone on my phone as a hoodied teenager…”
17th over: England 41-3 (Root 6, Malan 2) Roach, steady as, almost forces Root into a misjudgement. Luckily, the awry drive goes between cover and point. Things happening for the West Indies. Tom v d Gucht emails in with the subject Shuki Levi – the John Lennon of kids TV themes
“Ulysses 31 was a cracking theme tune – bombastic, forceful and full of 80s synth and guitar.” He’s right, you know:
[embedded content]
There’s more: “Amazingly, one man called Shuki Levi was responsible for this and many of the top tunes in the 80s including: Magnificent Cities of Gold, Willy Fogg, He Man and Inspector Gadget. That’s a body of work comparable with anything Abba, Elton John or the Beatles produced. He deserves far more recognition than he receives…”
Tom also passes on this articile on Shuki Levi. I’ve just had a skim but it’s which is absolutely fascinating.
16th over: England 40-3 (Root 5, Malan 2) With wickets to be had, Holder takes himself off and brings Gabriel back and five men waiting in the cordon. Bat pad, too. A short-ish ball to Dawid Malan allows him to skew one into the leg side and take two. Meanwhile, thank you to Richard Morris for bringing this to my attention: the trailer for the live-action remark of The Tick…
15th over: England 37-3 (Root 4) Fair play to Kemar Roach, who is into the eighth over of his opening spell and still causing trouble. Stoneman’s doughty innings is over. Don’t adjust your sets – the West Indies are on top.
14th over: England 37-2 (Stoneman 19, Root 4) Despite bowling a few junk balls, it looks like Jason Holder is going to get away with a maiden. Stoneman has other ideas, working a ball on middle stump through midwicket for three.
Steven Kelk joins us from the Netherlands: “I loved MASK as an impressionable young child. The trouble is, my attempts to convince people that it was all real were consistently undermined by the fact that the ‘K’ stood for ‘Kommand’. Deep in my heart I knew that a real mobile armoured strike command would never make such a fundamental spelling error, and that hurt. I’m not sure the people who thought up the cartoon realised the damage they were inflicting on young minds. “Ah, I hear that Kook has just been caught at slip…”
13th over: England 34-2 (Stoneman 16, Root 4) Joe Root gets off the mark after drinks with a glorious drive through extra cover. So crisp, so clean. An email from Jeff Livingstone, of the excellent In Bed With Maradona: “Like many on the OBO carousel I’m all for a bit of retro cartoon nostalgia, but failing to recognise the magnificence of current staples such as Adventure Time, Regular Show and Gumball ignores the fact that we are very much in a golden era of animation.” I can’t wait to have kids.
12th over: England 30-2 (Stoneman 16, Root 0) A change in the bowling as Jason Holder brings himself on to give Gabriel a rest. Stoneman drives uppishly through backward point and lives to tell the tale. Four more to him. Speaking of whom…
“Can I propose a future cartoon super-hero?” starts Pete Salmon. “Name of StoneMan – a redoubtable figure who is able to hang around with the gnarled old, yet baby-faced, character known as The Cook for more than three test matches, and is able to ascend to the dizzy heights of a test average somewhere north of 35? Its what the people are crying out for, after the dull adventures of Jennings.”
11th over: England 26-2 (Stoneman 12, Root 0) Here comes Joe Root. I was going to say “earlier than expected” but he’s probably used to it by now. Since the start of 2015, 33 times the fall of the second wicket has come with England less than fifty. Not goo (24 times above, by the way). “Don’t forget Captain Planet,” urges Ian Palmer. “Because he is a hero, and he will take pollution down to zero.”
“Sadly I always remember thinking ‘Is Captain Planet going to stop my Dad from driving me anywhere?’ And not liking him for it. I had cricket to get to and I didn’t fancy lugging my pads all the way because there was no car any more.”
Oh Thomas, don’t do that. Roach, wider on the crease, gets the ball to spear into the pads of Westley. TW is sizing up a drive down the ground, but the angle of the ball meant his margin for error was very small indeed.
Lawrence Booth (@the_topspin)
Westley is trapped by Roach for 3 – the fourth time in six Test innings he has been out aiming in the vague direction of mid-on.
10th over: England 24-1 (Stoneman 12, Westley 1) Gabriel doing work now. He’s beaten Westley for pace and then found his edge, which falls just short of Jason Holder at second slip. A bit of movement into Westley allows the right-hander to push beyond short leg for a single to get him off the mark.
“Surely Mysterious Cities of Gold was the 80s theme tune to end all theme tunes?” asks Gareth Fitzgerald. There have been a few shouts for this on Twitter, too:
9th over: England 21-0 (Stoneman 10, Westley 0) Nicely done by Stoneman, who times a drive through the covers for two, as Kemar Roach changes to around the wicket because of the lack of movement on offer. By the way – the West Indies players are wearing black armbands after the mother of their bowling coach, Rod Estwick, passed away yesterday.
8th over: England 19-1 (Stoneman 8, Westley 0) Now with a right-hander, Gabriel pulls out a few tricks. A couple of defensive shots from Tom Westley aren’t totally comfortable. The change-up – a bouncer – has Westley ducking though not keeping his eye on the ball. Had no idea Oliver Reed was involved with this:
Paddy Blewer (@Padsky)
@Vitu_E link manga animé to Oliver Reed’s rare proper acting? dogtanian. Late 30s boys / girls will remember. #obohttps://t.co/gajGwHMuCH
That’s more like it, Shannon! A probing line from over the wicket has Cook edging once more. This time, the ball rises a touch and takes a healthy edge to Kyle Hope, who takes a sharp low catch to his right at third slip.
7th over: England 18-0 (Cook 11, Stoneman 7) Just as Nasser Hussain maligns the fact that West Indies have a fine leg instead of a third man, Cook edges low through the latter for four runs. He’s good, Nas. David Wall submits Captain Scarlet. Great show (again). I had the figurine as a kid. I’d say it was worth something but it’s almost certainly missing a limb. I was reckless like that.
5th over: England 14-0 (Cook 7, Stoneman 7) Roach tests out Alastair Cook wide, outside off stump. Rather than cut, Cook decides to work on his back foot punch, timing the ball away through point for his first boundary of the day. Like all good OBOers, David Pearce corrects my earlier comment on Arthur:
david pearce (@davidgpearce)
Hi Vish. Just to answer your question. Arthur was an aardvark. He’d also probably outbat the bulk of the WI top six at the moment!
4th over: England 10-0 (Cook 3, Stoneman 7) A maiden for Shannon Gabriel. Ball isn’t doing too much through the air. Back to pink, lads? Meanwhile, news from Matt Crocker on Twitter that Ducktales is getting a reboot… starring David Tennant!
3rd over: England 10-0 (Cook 3, Stoneman 7) Chef and Rocky exchange the strike this over. James Walsh rides into town with this pearler of a contribution: “I see Phil Sawyer’s Earthworm Jim and raise him The Tick. Glorious parody of the superhero genre and has aged much better than I have. Is on its way back as a live-action remake with Peter ‘you shot me in the bollocks Tim’ Serafinowicz apparently.” Oh that really couldn’t be more up my street.
2nd over: England 8-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 6) A promising start from Shannon Gabriel, despite starting like a bloke who needs a long, deep soak in WD40. Finds the edge of Mark Stoneman’s bat with a bit of movement away from the leftie. Stoneman’s sharp, though: refusing to follow the ball and keep his hands soft hands to guide it into the ground in front of second slip and through the cordon for four to get off the mark.
david pearce (@davidgpearce)
@Vitu_E Duck Tales? Raccoons? Bow down to the majesty of Arthur! https://t.co/EgXB4wgth0 Best theme tune for a kids cartoon ever!
1st over: England 2-0 (Cook 2, Stoneman 0) Back to the red ball we go, in the hand of Kemar Roach who gives us a quirky start from around the wicket to Alastair Cook. Presumably, he’ll be over the wicket as per for Mark Stoneman after seeing him off with a pealer in the first Test. The first runs of the day come through backward point, as Cook jabs away through the off side to get going.
“Cartoons, eh?” starts Phil Sawyer. “Now there’s a riff I can get into. For sheer bonkersness, you just can’t beat a bit of Earthworm Jim. I actually used to get up early on a Sunday morning in my student days just to watch it. And it took a lot to get me out of bed back then. Still does, if I’m honest.” What a show and a pretty decent game on the SNES, if I remember correctly…
Before we get underway, Tim Maitland emails in with “a quick social media etiquette/OBO delusions question:
“Someone called Sarfraz Nawaz has liked a comment I made on a Facebook group called Hong Kong Snakes.” I mean, that’s definitely going to need context. Nevertheless, on we go: “Is it totally reasonable to assume that it is the Pakistan and Northamptonshire legend? I only ask, because questioning him further could lead to disappointment.” Yes, I think you’re safe to assume that. Now, about those snakes…
“DuckTales was good, but it was no Racoons,” writes Stephen Brown. Great shout. “I hope Stoneman can bag a hatful of runs here—just to slow down the number of questions about the batsman who are going to go to the Ashes.”
“We’ve got to put up a bigger fight,” says Jason Holder. He also says he’s not heard any of the criticisms from former players. Looks well sunned for a man who has spent the last week under a rock.
Joe Root, chipper, captaining at home, didn’t hesitate when asked what he was going to do. One change for England, as mentioned – two for West Indies, with Shannon Gabriel and Devendra Bishoo coming in for Miguel Cummins and Alzarri Joseph.
ENGLAND: Alastair Cook, Mark Stoneman, Tom Westley, Joe Root (C), Dawid Malan, Ben Stokes, Jonny Bairstow (WK), Moeen Ali, Chris Woakes, Stuart Broad, James Anderson
WEST INDIES: Kraigg Brathwaite, Kieran Powell, Kyle Hope, Shai Hope, Roston Chase, Jermaine Blackwood, Shane Dowrich (WK), Jason Holder (C), Kemar Roach, Devendra Bishoo, Shannon Gabriel
Just had a glimpse of the deck and it looks prime for batting. Runs and lots of them the order of the day. However, there’s a bit of doubt as to what Joe Root will do. Might be tempted to stick the West Indies in to rattle them out sharpish…
You can get in touch with the OBO as per: drop into my inbox by hitting me up on [email protected] or on Twitter with the handle @Vitu_E, just like Andy…
Andy Cumella (@acumella)
Damn that’s some good hot 🔥. WI can’t do anything w/out someone rattling off names of 80s greats. Bit like having Superman as an older bro.
Hearty good mornings to ya and welcome to OBO coverage of Day one of the second Test between England and West Indies. I, Vithushan Ehantharajah (Vish will do), will be your guide through this fine Headingley morning, hoping the weather stays fair and willing West Indies to far greater heights.
A lot has been made of just how meekly the tourists folded under the Edgbaston lights. The pink ball took some of the heat but most of the intended targets were scorched after an innings-and-209-run-shellacking. You could not move for takes on the decline of cricket in the Caribbean, Test cricket as a whole and the wider world at large (mercifully, it was just an eclipse). You have to feel for the players under the maroon flag. Everything they do is scrutinised beyond recognition: at worst, drawing lazy, borderline offensive stereotypes around lethargy – at best, compared exhaustingly to That Great West Indian Side of The EightiesTM. Jermaine Blackwood could save a family of five from a burning building and some nostalgia junkie would still moan about how Gordon Greenidge would have done it in one trip.
Stuart Law has punched back accordingly, acknowledging their shortcomings along the way. Welcoming back Shannon Gabriel will give the attack a bit of oomph, while leggie Devendra Bishoo offers Jason Holder a different line of attack. The ball remainsth.eir best hope
As for England, like Scrooge McDuck high-diving into a vat of gold coins, they’re flexing their wealth by bringing back Chris Woakes and “dropping” Toby Roland-Jones. While I’ve dragged us there, we might as well follow-through: how good was DuckTales??
Vish will be here shortly. In the meantime you can enjoy Vic Marks’s preview of the second Test …
Updated
at 12.43am BST
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