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Yankees’ Torpedo Bats Spark Outcry: Dave Portnoy Accuses Team of ‘Cheating’
Controversy surrounds the New York Yankees and their newly implemented ‘torpedo bats’ after a record-breaking performance against the Milwaukee Brewers, prompting strong reactions. Barstool Sports figurehead Dave Portnoy delivered a passionate, albeit ‘unbiased,’ critique of the Yankees’ bats, labeling them as ‘cheating’ and calling for Major League Baseball (MLB) intervention following the team’s dominant victory.
Portnoy’s Scathing Assessment of ‘Torpedo Bats’
Following the Yankees’ explosive display of power at home, where they achieved a team-best nine home runs in a 20-9 triumph over the Brewers, criticism of their new bats intensified among baseball enthusiasts. Capitalizing on the rising discontent, Portnoy, donning a Boston Red Sox cap, shared his vehement disapproval of the bats, directly targeting the Yankees.
‘Unsurprisingly, the Yankees reportedly enlisted an MIT physicist to essentially redistribute wood from less impactful areas of the bat, such as near the handle, to the hitting zone,’ Portnoy asserted. ‘This modification aims to enlarge the sweet spot.’ He suggested this alteration was specifically designed to aid struggling players like Anthony Volpe.
‘They implemented this presumably because Volpe was underperforming, frequently getting jammed,’ Portnoy elaborated. ‘Their solution? Introduce the so-called torpedo bat, which seemingly turns even weak contact into a home run.’
Dave Portnoy voiced his anger concerning the New York Yankees’ use of torpedo bats in their game against the Brewers
Widespread Adoption and ‘Ruining Baseball’
Portnoy further claimed, ‘I believe the Yankees have already amassed around 13 home runs using these bats. While Aaron Judge denies using them, claiming his home runs are legitimate, visual evidence suggests otherwise.’
He predicted that the controversial bat design would soon permeate across MLB despite its questionable legality. ‘Every team will adopt this loophole,’ Portnoy predicted. ‘Should it be permissible? Absolutely not. Is it cheating? Undeniably.’
He elaborated on his definition of cheating: ‘When a batter makes weak contact, hitting the ball off the bat’s label, it indicates flawed technique. However, these torpedo bats, effectively functioning like corked bats with a concentrated sweet spot, convert those weak hits into home runsā¦ It artificially improves subpar hitters.’
Portnoy lamented the potential long-term damage to the sport, saying, ‘Some MIT academic is on the verge of ruining baseball’s legacy. If MLB fails to prohibit these torpedo bats, expect inflated scores and an excessive number of home runs. While I might find some amusement in the Yankees’ continued unethical practices, these bats are detrimental. They are unfair to pitchers and detrimental to the integrity of the game.’
Anthony Volpe of the New York Yankees hits a solo home run with a Torpedo bat in the second inning against the Milwaukee Brewers
Concluding his remarks, Portnoy sarcastically added, ‘Perhaps I should personally address the Majors about this issue.’
Brewers Pitcher Echoes Concerns
Echoing Portnoy’s sentiments, Brewers pitcher Trevor Megill also voiced his unease about the torpedo bats following the game. ‘I find them concerning. We need to analyze the data, but I’ve never witnessed anything comparable,’ Megill stated. He drew a comparison to ‘slow-pitch softball,’ highlighting the unusual nature of the bats in professional baseball.
Despite his reservations, Megill acknowledged the potential effectiveness of the bat’s design. ‘Itās arguably ingeniousāconcentrating the mass in one area,’ he conceded. ‘It might be unconventional, perhaps even unsporting. But given itās the Yankees, it might be overlooked.’