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Andrew Flintoff, the former England cricket star, has characterized his return to cricket as a coach over the past 18 months as “the one thing that saved me.” This comeback has aided him in grappling with the psychological and physical trauma resulting from a car crash during the filming of the BBC’s Top Gear in December 2022. The accident left Flintoff with significant injuries and a challenging recovery process.
Flintoff Opens Up About Top Gear Accident
Flintoff shares his experiences regarding the accident and its aftermath for the first time in a Disney+ documentary set to premiere on Friday. “Following the incident, I doubted my ability to recover,” he reveals.
“This might sound terrible, but a part of me believes I should have died. Another part of me actually wished I had died. I want to be clear, I wasn’t contemplating suicide. It was more a thought: death would have been so much simpler. Now, I try to adopt a more positive outlook, reminding myself that the sun will rise again, and my children will still embrace me. I’m in a much better mental state now.”
Return to Cricket: A Path to Healing
For several months following the accident, Flintoff largely remained at home, only venturing out for medical appointments. Although he had reduced his involvement in cricket after retiring in 2010 to pursue TV presenting, it was his passion for the sport that motivated him to emerge from seclusion. Initially, he assisted with a few sessions for the England men’s team in 2023. By 2024, he accepted coaching positions with the England Lions, a developmental team, and the Northern Superchargers in The Hundred league.
“If any positive can be extracted from this experience, it’s my return to cricket,” Flintoff stated. “It has been instrumental in my recovery. I have felt welcomed back into the cricket community. It’s a safe and supportive environment. There are moments when I sit in the dressing room, watching a game surrounded by cricketers and friends, and I can simply forget.”
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Details of the Top Gear Car Accident
The 47-year-old sustained severe facial injuries when the open-topped, three-wheeled car he was driving overturned on a runway. The incident occurred at Dunsfold Aerodrome in Surrey, the regular filming location for Top Gear. “I recall every detail,” Flintoff recounts in the documentary.
“When I reflect on it now, I’m immediately back in that car. They were demonstrating how to drift the car. Then, the front wheel detached. It’s strange to describe, but when a car rolls, there’s a moment of no return, and everything seems to slow down. It’s incredibly bizarre.”
Flintoff’s Thoughts During the Crash
“I used to be a cricketer, and as a batter, you have about 0.4 seconds to decide where the ball is headed, what shot to play, and how to adjust your footwork. As the car began to roll, I looked at the ground and realized that if I hit the side of my head, I’m going to break my neck. If I hit my temple, I’m certain to die. The best chance is go face down … My biggest fear [afterwards] was I didn’t think I had a face. I thought my face had come off. I was frightened to death.”
I still live it every day. Still in the car every night when I go to bed. It’s so vivid. I’ve not slept the same since
Andrew Flintoff
Earlier in the film, he reflects, “I’m still processing the accident, still trying to come to terms with it. I still relive it daily, every night when I try to sleep. It’s incredibly vivid. My sleep hasn’t been the same. It replays like a movie in my mind.”
Medical Details and Legal Settlement
Following the crash, Flintoff was airlifted to St George’s Hospital in Tooting. The documentary presents graphic images of the injuries, which Jahrad Haq, the surgeon who operated on him, described as “very complex … In my 20 years of handling maxillofacial trauma, these rank among the top five most severe cases”.
In 2023, Flintoff reached a settlement with BBC Studios, the commercial arm of the BBC responsible for producing Top Gear. The reported value was £9 million. In November of that year, the BBC announced that the show had been canceled. Flintoff had been a co-presenter with Paddy McGuinness and Chris Harris since 2019, enjoying substantial success with the show. Its last series averaged 4.5 million viewers. Nevertheless, Flintoff suggests that the presenters’ safety was compromised in an effort to boost ratings.
The Pressure for Higher Ratings
“Everyone is always striving for more, chasing that exclusive content nobody has seen before,” Flintoff explained. “There’s the constant push to delve deeper, to secure an exclusive, to execute the most spectacular stunt. The mindset becomes, ‘Let’s stage a near-miss, as that will attract viewers.’ Everything revolves around viewership. Always.”
“I should have been more discerning, a lesson I learned in sports as well. The injuries, the injections, the instances I was sent onto the cricket field, treated as expendable. That’s TV and sport. I think that’s where it’s quite similar. You’re just a commodity. You’re just a piece of meat.”
Support and Perspectives in the Documentary
The documentary includes thoughts from former colleagues in both cricket and entertainment. James Corden, Jack Whitehall, Rob Key, and Ricky Ponting all make appearances. Flintoff’s wife, Rachael, and the medical professionals who cared for him also contribute. The film chronicles his accident, his remarkable athletic career, from significant moments like the Ashes victories in 2005 and 2009, to his struggles with weight and alcohol, as well as his recent foray into coaching.
“It’s such a good job. I don’t think I’ve smiled and laughed as much as this in a long time,” Flintoff says, during an interview filmed last year in the Caribbean during T20 World Cup. “I’ve got to remind myself sometimes that I’m not one of the lads, because you just lose yourself in it all. But at night, I do go back to my room on my own, and I’m left with my own thoughts and my own feelings, and they don’t seem to be changing.
“I still have my nightmares … I don’t think I’m ever going to be better. I’m just different now. It’s just, let’s find somewhere where you sit quite comfortably. And I’m getting there, slowly.”
In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on freephone 116 123, or email [email protected] or [email protected]. In the US, you can call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 988, chat on 988lifeline.org, or text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counsellor. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org