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Meghan Markle’s Early Days in the Royal Family: Palace Staff Recall Duchess’s Assertive Approach
When a newcomer enters the British Royal Family, an extensive period of adjustment is typically required to master the intricacies of royal life. New members, such as Meghan Markle upon marrying Prince Harry, face a steep learning curve, encompassing everything from mastering countless protocols and royal etiquette to managing large teams of staff and navigating a demanding schedule of public engagements. This transition often takes considerable time, even years, to perfect. Therefore, Meghan Markle’s pre-wedding declaration of her intention to immediately “hit the ground running” reportedly sparked apprehension within palace circles.
Transition Challenges from Hollywood to Royal Life
The established procedures of the Royal Household, perhaps influenced by its traditional composition or simply inherent in a public institution bound by history and convention, are characterized by caution and consensus-driven decision-making. Consequently, the shift from a Hollywood career to the traditional environment of the Royal Family presented considerable challenges for Meghan, now the Duchess of Sussex.
Prior to her marriage to Harry, Meghan was a relatively known actress, primarily recognized for her role in the television legal drama “Suits.” However, upon joining royal ranks, she entered a completely unfamiliar realm.
Staff Accounts of Meghan’s Confidence and Assertiveness
Despite her initial unfamiliarity with royal life, Meghan Markle reportedly exhibited a confident and assertive approach from the outset, according to a forthcoming biographical book. Former staff members have recounted to royal biographer Tom Quinn the awkward and sometimes humorous nature of early meetings held at Kensington Palace involving the Duchess.
One staffer revealed, “It was quite remarkable because her confidence was so evident. It was clear she aimed to lead discussions rather than learn about the workings of the Royal Family through these meetings.”
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This individual elaborated, “She strongly believed in taking immediate control – yet the Royal Family is not an entity to be simply controlled.”
Another source added, “Meghan seemed to believe she possessed superior knowledge compared to an institution with over a millennium of history and operational experience.”
Echoes of Overconfidence: Parallels with Princess Diana
The notion that Meghan Markle displayed a degree of overconfidence in her initial royal engagements is not unprecedented. Tina Brown, an acquaintance of Princess Diana, noted in her 2022 publication, “The Palace Papers,” that Prince Harry did little to moderate Meghan’s ambition. Brown wrote, “Harry, having always resisted royal hierarchy himself, was not inclined to advise her to moderate her pace.”
Brown further suggested, “They shared an inflated vision of themselves as agents of global change, envisioning a post-marriage existence in a celebrity sphere reminiscent of Princess Diana’s. Meghan, however, lacked the patience to gradually reach that point. At 36, she perceived this as her pivotal opportunity.”
Demands and “Messiah Complex” Allegations
Reports suggest Meghan viewed maximizing her staff’s capabilities as crucial to leveraging her newfound prominence. As a member of the Royal Family, Meghan’s expectations and demands seemingly escalated, contrasting with her previous status as an actress. Her inherent inclination towards modernization and desire for swift action and systemic change were evident.
Another former staff member informed Mr. Quinn that Meghan displayed what they termed a “messiah complex,” as detailed in his new book, “Yes, Ma’am: The Secret Life of Royal Servants.” This source indicated that Meghan was primarily concerned with achieving maximum recognition and popularity within the Royal Family.
According to a former courtier of Queen Elizabeth II, palace officials became concerned upon realizing Meghan’s aspirations for her royal role diverged significantly from established protocols and expectations. However, this same aide asserted that Meghan’s ambition to forge her own path was unlikely to surpass the established roles of figures like Princess Anne, Prince Charles, or the late Queen.
This former aide added that Meghan seemingly failed to grasp a fundamental principle of joining the Royal Family: “You operate under instruction, not personal preference.”
Diana, Sarah Ferguson, and Kate: Contrasting Royal Entrances
An ex-courtier claimed Meghan stated her ambition concerning Princess Diana legacy: “‘What Diana started, I intend to finish,'” while clarifying her charitable engagements would be part-time. Adjusting to royal life is demonstrably challenging. Princess Diana’s youth, Sarah Ferguson’s strong-willed nature, and even Princess Kate’s middle-class background each presented unique transition hurdles.
However, Palace staff, according to Mr. Quinn, observed that Princess Kate navigated this transition with greater circumspection. Staff described her as “someone who observes and absorbs the atmosphere, interpersonal dynamics, and established procedures within an environment.”
They contrasted her approach with Meghan’s, noting Kate was not inclined to “immediately intervene and attempt to reshape everything according to her own preferences.” Instead, Kate opted to observe and learn from established behaviors.
A key difference highlighted was Kate’s receptiveness to guidance, not only from Prince William, keen to prevent a repetition of his mother’s challenges, but also from experienced palace staff. Camilla, in her early days within the family, offered support, and Kate benefited from her family’s grounded support, particularly from her mother, Carole Middleton.
Kate’s integration into full-time royal duties was gradual and cautious, initially focusing on supporting Prince William. Despite Queen Elizabeth II entrusting experienced aides like Sophie, Duchess of Edinburgh, and Lady Susan Hussey to mentor Meghan, she reportedly declined their assistance.
“Duchess of Difficult” vs. “Duchess Different”
This perceived “Meghan-knows-best” attitude reportedly caused unease among Kensington Palace staff. One former staff member suggested that the “old guard” resented external influence, especially from an American perspective, reflecting entrenched traditionalism. However, Quinn’s book also reveals a more nuanced perception. While some staff branded Meghan “the Duchess of Difficult,” others, particularly among junior staff, appreciated her dynamism and drive for progress. Some suggested “Duchess Different” was a more apt descriptor, acknowledging her unique approach.
Meghan’s articulate nature, sophistication, and pre-royal activism in human rights, clean water initiatives, UN advocacy for women, and gender equality were acknowledged. Her feminist stance, including support for the #MeToo movement, was also noted, though her manner of engagement sometimes raised eyebrows.
Palace Division and Staff Relationships
Mr. Quinn describes a division within Kensington Palace staff into pro-Meghan and anti-Meghan factions, creating an atmosphere of “rumor, gossip, and internal conflict.” Sources indicate Meghan developed a particularly close relationship with a junior staff member, deemed inappropriate by senior royals. Reports also suggest Meghan felt William, as heir to the throne, received preferential treatment from staff compared to her husband.
Challenges in Managing Royal Staff
A central challenge for Meghan was reportedly navigating the complexities of managing royal household staff. Long-established “blood royals” were accustomed to directing staff, a skill seemingly less familiar to Meghan.
A former staffer recounted Meghan’s inconsistent approach, oscillating between excessive familiarity, including hugs, and impatience when staff responses were not immediate. Meghan reportedly perceived Prince Harry as overly deferential to both his family and staff.
Mr. Quinn suggests Meghan disapproved of Harry’s polite requests to staff, such as asking “if they would mind” assisting him. Within Buckingham Palace’s less formal circles, staff reportedly nicknamed Meghan and Harry “Monica and Chandler,” referencing characters from the sitcom “Friends,” depicting Monica as a control enthusiast and Chandler as amiable but easily influenced.
Bullying Allegations and “Sussex Survivors Club”
Rumors regarding Meghan’s interactions with staff gradually surfaced in the media. In 2021, Buckingham Palace initiated an internal inquiry following publicized bullying accusations but declined to release its findings. Reports in the Mail detailed how former staff had formed a “Sussex Survivors Club,” with some experiencing symptoms akin to post-traumatic stress disorder.
While the palace report’s specifics remained undisclosed, the Duchess has consistently and strongly refuted these allegations. Her legal representatives at the time dismissed them as a “calculated smear campaign.”
Prince Harry addressed these accusations directly in his 2023 memoir, “Spare,” characterizing them as a “vicious campaign” orchestrated by his father and brother’s offices. He wrote, “Meg was apparently a bully – that was the latest vicious campaign they’d [his father and brother’s office] helped orchestrate. It was so shocking, so egregious, that even after Meg and I demolished their lie with a twenty-five-page, evidence-filled report to Human Resources, I was going to have trouble simply shrugging that one off.”
Continued Scrutiny in California
Even after transitioning to life outside royal duties in California, the scrutiny surrounding Meghan’s treatment of staff persisted. A 2024 report in The Hollywood Reporter alleged Meghan “belittles” individuals and “marches around like a dictator in high heels, fuming and barking orders.” The publication cited accounts of Meghan being “absolutely relentless” towards employees, with one source claiming, “I’ve watched her reduce grown men to tears.”
Personnel Turnover and Vanity Fair Report
The couple’s reported staff treatment has seemingly contributed to significant personnel instability, marked by a high rate of employee turnover. Further allegations emerged in a recent Vanity Fair cover story, which, notably, had previously been supportive of the Sussexes.
According to unnamed sources within the Vanity Fair report, a colleague reportedly took a leave of absence following a brief involvement with Meghan’s podcast, “Archetypes.” Others reportedly described “taking extended breaks from work to escape scrutiny, leaving their positions, or undergoing long-term therapy” after working with Meghan.
The source suggested that Meghan could improve her public perception by acknowledging “her own shortcomings or personal contributions to situations rather than remaining entrenched in a victim narrative.” Meghan and Harry declined to comment on the Vanity Fair article.
Reflections and Unlikely Royal Return
In retrospect, adopting a more measured approach, similar to Princess Kate’s, might have yielded a different outcome for Meghan’s royal tenure. However, Meghan may be content with her brief period as a working royal. Regardless, a second opportunity for a royal role appears improbable.