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Examining Youth Online Culture: Netflix’s ‘Adolescence’ Sparks Family Discussions on Misogyny and Cyberbullying
The hit Netflix drama, Adolescence, has prompted crucial conversations about the impact of online content on young people. One family, grappling with these very issues, decided to watch the series together. The show, which centers on cyberbullying and exposure to misogynistic online material, portrays the story of 13-year-old Jamie, accused of murdering a female peer. This scenario resonated with Ben*, a 15-year-old, and his parents, Sophie and Martin, as they navigated the complex landscape of social media and its influence on teenage behavior.
“Discussing your sexual feelings with your parents is just awkward,” admitted Ben, highlighting the discomfort teenagers often experience when broaching sensitive topics with family.
Sophie and Martin, both professionals in their 40s, listened attentively, acknowledging the challenges Ben faces navigating “big issues” arising from his social media engagement. For Ben, discussions about sex and pornography were particularly “the worst.”
Gathered in their living room, the family – excluding Ben’s younger sister, deemed too young to participate – dissected the popular Netflix series, Adolescence, which they had viewed the prior evening.
The narrative of Adolescence revolves around Jamie, a 13-year-old protagonist facing accusations of murdering a female classmate. The series explores the potential links between this crime and Jamie’s exposure to misogynistic content online and experiences with cyberbullying.
Ben’s parents expressed concern about the potential impact of such online material on their own son’s conduct. Ben, sharing their apprehension, voiced his own desire to establish limits on his phone usage.
Driven by these concerns, mirroring themes within Adolescence, the family collectively decided to watch the program. They also permitted BBC News to observe their post-viewing discussion, which encompassed topics ranging from the relevance of Andrew Tate to the complexities of friendships between boys and girls.
Exploring Online Language and Terminology
Before their conversation commenced, Ben was observed scrolling through his phone, seated on the living room sofa.
His parents joined him, settling into their seats with a relaxed demeanor, despite the potentially sensitive subjects they were about to delve into. The family living room was warmly decorated with personal photos displayed on bookshelves, and a piano stood against one wall.
Sophie described their household as “very open,” emphasizing their efforts to foster an environment where “all topics are on the table.” Prior to watching Adolescence, Sophie had prepared a list of discussion points to explore with Ben.
Ben, characterized as a self-assured and articulate teenager, enjoys popularity amongst his peers at his single-sex state secondary school. However, traits that contribute to his social standing sometimes lead to disciplinary actions from teachers, who issue detentions or isolation for what his mother termed “inappropriate comments”.
Within the Netflix series, Adolescence, Jamie and his peers utilize language associated with the “manosphere,” referring to websites and online communities promoting misogyny and anti-feminist viewpoints, as well as incel culture. “Incel,” an abbreviation for “involuntary celibate,” describes individuals, predominantly men, who attribute their inability to find sexual partners to women. This ideology has been associated with acts of terror and violence in recent years.
Surprisingly, the term “incel” was unfamiliar to Ben. His father, Martin, provided an explanation during their viewing of the program.
“People just use ‘virgins’ as an insult,” Ben clarified to his parents. “I haven’t heard ‘incel’ before.” He speculated that the term might have become less prevalent among young people on social media, reflecting the dynamic nature of online discourse.
Ben acknowledged recognizing aspects of the show, particularly its portrayal of conflicts and cyberbullying within a school environment. However, he considered it a “rough depiction” of contemporary teenage life, suggesting that it was primarily intended for “an adult who isn’t online.”
He elaborated that the series overlooked the positive aspects of social media alongside its inherent risks. Furthermore, he pointed out perceived inaccuracies, such as secret emoji codes, which he found unconvincing.
Martin, while admitting to enjoying the suspenseful drama, expressed concern that the show exploits parental anxieties regarding children’s phone usage. He felt that, at times, Adolescence prioritized dramatic effect over realistic representation in an effort to “shock” adults into taking action.
Andrew Tate’s Influence: Old News?
Andrew Tate, a prominent influencer and key figure within the online manosphere, is directly referenced in Adolescence. He has been a source of considerable worry for parents and educators alike. However, Ben indicated that while Andrew Tate was “popular” at his school approximately two years prior, he is now considered “old news.”
Ben observed Tate’s approach of blending health and wellness advice with political ideologies. “Some of his points, like ‘exercise for an hour a day’ – fair enough, that’s correct. But then he mixes it with far-right ideas, such as ‘the man should be the breadwinner and the wife should stay at home’,” Ben explained.
Both parents concurred that Tate is not the root cause of misogyny, but rather a symptom of “a larger societal problem.”
Navigating Boy-Girl Friendships in the Digital Age
Adolescence sharply illustrates the challenges in male-female friendships in the social media era. The protagonist, Jamie, lacks female friends and seems to perceive interactions with girls through a lens of dominance and manipulation.
Sophie expressed concern that interactions between boys and girls in Ben’s social circle felt detached and impersonal. She noted limited opportunities for Ben to socialize with girls his age.
Compounding her worries, Sophie fears that Ben primarily gains his understanding of male-female interactions from social media. “It’s really distorted,” she stated. “They don’t know how to interact properly with one another.”
She directly posed a question to her son: “If you are unsure how to interact with girls, feeling awkward or self-conscious, where would you seek guidance?”
“Online,” Ben responded.
“So, it’s a cyclical problem,” his mother concluded. “That becomes their source of information.”
Ben openly admitted to using “ChatGPT for about two years” to obtain this type of advice. “Or TikTok,” he added, acknowledging other online platforms.
Sophie recalled a formative experience for Ben regarding friendships with girls during a visit to his cousin’s house, who attends a mixed-gender school and has female friends.
She recounted an instance where Ben’s cousin corrected him after Ben inquired whether the cousin was romantically interested in a female friend.
“I don’t recall him being annoyed with me in that way, but okay,” Ben replied.
They discussed their differing memories of the event before arriving at an agreed-upon version: “His cousin’s response was, ‘No, she’s my friend. I don’t view her that way’,” Sophie summarized.
“That was a real revelation for him,” she emphasized. Addressing Ben, she recalled, “You returned from that visit, and you remarked, ‘It’s much better [at my cousin’s school], girls and boys are friends.'”
The Peril of Sharing Private Images
A crucial plot point in Adolescence involves the revelation that Jamie’s victim, Katie, endured misogynistic bullying after a male classmate disseminated intimate images of her without her permission.
Jamie’s dialogue regarding this occurrence with a child psychologist, portrayed by Erin Doherty, is central to the acclaimed third episode of the series.
Ben confirmed witnessing similar betrayals of trust among his peers. “There’s a local boy, and [a picture of] his private parts was leaked in a massive group chat with many people,” he disclosed. “That became a significant topic on TikTok.”
The Netflix series commences with an episode depicting police questioning Jamie concerning sexually explicit images of adult women he had shared on his Instagram profile. This scene subtly highlights the ease with which young teenagers can access pornography.
Pornography: A “Biggest Issue”
This aspect of the series resonated with Ben, who identified pornography as the “biggest issue” affecting his peer group. He knows boys who have become “addicted” to it. “They are dependent on it. Some in my year will have a really bad day unless they watch it,” he stated.
Ben exhibited mild discomfort while discussing pornography, glancing away and fidgeting with his phone.
He appeared more at ease when discussing other forms of concerning online content encountered by young people.
He estimated that “one in 10” videos he views on his phone contain disturbing content, including scenes of graphic violence. Ben’s parents are acutely aware that their son is not automatically “safe” simply because he is upstairs using his computer – a contrast to Jamie’s parents in Adolescence.
Potential Solutions and Parental Roles
Martin and Sophie believe that providing children with enhanced opportunities to “participate” in society and cultivate self-esteem is key to addressing these issues.
They stressed their desire for Ben to have access to a “wide range” of positive male role models for guidance. Ben, who had briefly checked his phone during their discussion, refocused on the conversation.
He enthusiastically praised his sports coaches, whose “really strong morals” he greatly admired.
His parents nodded approvingly, clearly pleased by his positive endorsement. They explained that they intentionally fill Ben’s schedule with activities to minimize his phone usage. However, they acknowledged the financial burden this places on families, potentially disadvantaging students from less affluent backgrounds.
Sophie commented on the character of Jamie from Adolescence: “He doesn’t participate in sports. He lacks self-confidence. His father is dismissive of his failures.”
Adolescence effectively illustrates that children with limited avenues to build self-worth are more “vulnerable” to the alluring yet harmful messages propagated by misogynistic influencers, Sophie argued.
Both parents agreed that tech companies, government bodies, educational institutions, and families must collectively share the responsibility of offering young people compelling alternatives to the dangerous appeal of the manosphere.
They maintained that parental efforts alone are insufficient. As Sophie concisely put it: “It’s like facing a tsunami with just an umbrella.”
Ben believes that adults frequently underestimate the significance of online interactions, dismissing them as disconnected from the “real world.” He argues this is a flawed perspective: social media should be treated “like real life – because it is real life,” he asserted.
*All names in this article have been changed.