Couple’s Virtual Beginnings Blossom Into Matrimony
Sydney Chineze Mokel’s tenure at the Conservation Law Foundation in Boston commenced in April 2020. Due to pandemic restrictions preventing in-person meetings, she initiated virtual coffee dates with a dozen colleagues to foster connections.
An Hour-Long Virtual Coffee Leads to Connection
Tommaso Elijah Wagner stood out, being the sole colleague to schedule a full hour for their virtual meeting.
Ms. Mokel recalled questioning, “What are we going to converse about for such an extended period?”
They soon discovered shared interests, notably their prior study of Mandarin Chinese. Both continued their Mandarin studies during their undergraduate years. At the Foundation, Ms. Mokel served as a foundation relations coordinator, while Mr. Wagner held the position of program assistant.
Meeting in Person and Shared Interests
The pair, both aged 28, first met face-to-face on Halloween. A mutual coworker invited them to the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, where masks were compulsory and social distancing encouraged.
Their collaboration on a staff initiative for Black History Month in February 2021 deepened their bond. Discussions around Black joy and Afrofuturism led to in-person meetings at Kung Fu Tea near Harvard Square in Cambridge, Massachusetts to exchange books. Ms. Mokel lent Mr. Wagner “I Wonder as I Wander: An Autobiographical Journey,” by Langston Hughes, and he reciprocated with “The Fifth Season” by N.K. Jemisin.
Book Swaps and Budding Romance
During their third book exchange in April, they convened at the Loring Greenough House in Boston’s Jamaica Plain neighborhood. Mr. Wagner brought homemade iced tea, complementing Ms. Mokel’s homemade cookies.
“I realized I had a significant crush on him that emerged unexpectedly,” Ms. Mokel, known as Chi, stated. Following this meeting, she proposed their next encounter be a formal date.
A visit to the Museum of Fine Arts, followed by lunch at Thaitation in Fenway, was planned for the following week. However, Mr. Wagner, eager to see her again, visited Ms. Mokel during a yard sale she was holding a day or two prior to their scheduled date.
They quickly realized they “fell into complementary rhythms,” as Ms. Mokel described.
Relationship Tested and Strengthened
While Ms. Mokel was already certain of her feelings, their relationship faced a challenge in late August 2021 during Ms. Mokel’s difficult move from Jamaica Plain to Cambridge. Mr. Wagner demonstrated his commitment by assisting with the move, waking up early to drive the U-Haul and bringing her refreshments.
Engagement and Shared Future
Two years later, in September 2023, Ms. Mokel moved in with Mr. Wagner in Somerville, Massachusetts, their current residence. The couple proposed to each other the subsequent month.
Mr. Wagner orchestrated a proposal mirroring their third book swap, placing a ring within a book at the Loring Greenough House. Simultaneously, Ms. Mokel arranged a surprise gathering of friends and family at their apartment, both in person and via Zoom, for their return.
Despite Ms. Mokel transitioning to a new role in December 2022, most colleagues were unaware of their relationship until after their engagement.
Words of Affection
“I admire Chi’s grounded nature, her profound self-awareness and her confidence,” Mr. Wagner expressed. “I love her laugh, her eyes, and her smile.”
Ms. Mokel is currently the associate director of foundation relations at the Museum of Science in Boston, holding a bachelor’s degree in international affairs from Northeastern University.
Mr. Wagner is pursuing a master’s degree in urban planning and policy at Northeastern and is an intern at Utile Architecture & Planning in Boston. He earned a bachelor’s degree in environmental policy from Colby College.
Cultural Heritage and Wedding Celebrations
Ms. Mokel’s heritage is diverse: her father is a Nigerian immigrant of the Igbo tribe, and her mother is African-American. She was raised Episcopalian. Mr. Wagner’s mother has Jewish and Chinese ancestry, while his father is of English and German descent. His mother identifies culturally Jewish, and his father, formerly Episcopalian, is now Buddhist.
The couple recognized parallels between Jewish and Igbo traditions, particularly a shared appreciation for humor and storytelling. They aimed to incorporate both cultures into their wedding ceremony.
Intercultural Wedding Ceremony
They exchanged vows before 235 guests at Robbins Memorial Town Hall in Arlington, Massachusetts, on March 8. Rabbi Jen Gubitz, founder of Modern Jewish Couples, officiated. For the ceremony, they opted for Western attire – the bride in a vintage white gown purchased secondhand. They later changed into Nigerian dress in forest green and gold for the reception.
The reception featured a fusion menu, including hot and sour soup, egg rolls, potato knishes, and Nigerian akara.
Before dinner, the bride’s uncle performed a kola nut blessing, an Igbo tradition symbolizing unity. The couple danced the hora to Harry Belafonte’s “Hava Nagila,” while guests participated in the Nigerian tradition of the money spray.
A Harmonious Partnership
“Tommaso is a delightful blend of sweetness and determination,” Ms. Mokel reflected. “He has seamlessly integrated into my family, demonstrating openness to embracing new cultural traditions and cuisines.”