Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
A closer look here at Harrison Ford and his creepily de-aged face for the new Indiana Jones movie, a sequel hoping to undo the damage that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull allegedly did (*whispers* it really wasn’t that bad). We also get more of new villain Mads Mikkelsen and sidekick Phoebe Waller-Bridge. But can a Spielberg-free Indiana Jones (from James Mangold) do the job?
Kevin Hart disrupts a party for DraftKings
The comedian shouts out DraftKings’ free bet promotion by disrupting a star-studded watch party and mashing together reactions with the names of Big Papi, Ludacris, Tony Hawk and others.
Ben Affleck actually works at Dunkin Donuts
Those photos of Ben Affleck working at a Dunkin Donuts drive thru? Those were a side effect of his Super Bowl ad, in which the most Boston man / iced coffee king took several orders from real customers – and one order (a glazed donut) from his wife / Dunkin convert Jennifer Lopez.
Anna Faris eats avocados from Mexico
In this version of the story by a group called Avocados from Mexico (?), Anna Faris’s Eve and a hot, shirtless, dimwitted Adam are saved from a life of sin by a talking rodent and, naturally, a bite of an avocado. Their utopia: a totally nude, avocado-filled New York, no clothes necessary.
The 10th Fast and Furious film (11th if we’re counting spin-off Hobbs and Shaw) is also the fifth most expensive film ever made, with reports suggesting a budget of $340m, not too shabby given how the series was seen as dead in the water way back when. It’s now it’s one of the most extravagant franchises we have with the 10th adding Brie Larson, Jason Momoa and Rita Moreno (!) to join returning cast members such as Helen Mirren, Charlize Theron and Cardi B, and the novelty this time around is that it’ll be the first F&F film to feature electric cars. Other than that our first real look shows more of the same: gravitationally impossible stunts, gravelly voiced threats and more talk of the importance of family than an episode of Love Island.
Remember when Netflix surprise dropped The Cloverfield Paradox after the Super Bowl and it was absolutely punishingly terrible?
Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume Three
One of the Marvel franchises that still carries some intrigue to those mostly turned off by Marvel Franchises in general, the Guardians of the Galaxy are returning for a third chapter from new DC head James Gunn. But since the first Guardians, so many other Marvel films have tried to emulate its irreverent style and use of old music and so, this just ends up looking more of the same rather than something distinctive and offbeat. We’ll have to wait and see.
Chris Stapleton’s bluesy national anthem
Sporting shades and a single electric guitar, country star Chris Stapleton delivered a soulful, gravelly rendition of The Star-Spangled Banner. It’s a surprisingly emotional, somewhat understated version of a song that’s often performed as a soaring ballad, and it brought several men in shoulder pads to tears.
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts
With Paramount riding high still from the success of the jumpstarted Scream and Top Gun franchises, it makes natural sense that the studio’s biggest ever series would return. From the looks of this new tease of the new Transformers film, the next chapter appears to be closer to Bumblebee, the spin-off that didn’t make much money but found its audience over time. It stars Anthony Ramos in what seems to be a more contained character-led story, which given the wild excess of the franchise’s lowest moments, is not a bad thing.
Babyface’s America the Beautiful
Following up on Ralph’s performance of the Black national anthem, R&B star Babyface (aka Kenneth Edmonds) sang America the Beautiful, accompanied by a stars and stripes guitar and a member of the Navajo Nation, Colin Denny, as an ASL interpreter.
Rihanna will be getting a ton of celeb support tonight but pre-game, she’s already been sent well wishes by 2021’s half-time star Shakira:
Sheryl Lee Ralph kicks off the music
The music has at least begun! Sheryl Lee Ralph, the Emmy and Tony-winning Abbott Elementary star (this game does include the Philadelphia Eagles, though we won’t talk about it here), has kicked off the musical performances for the evening with a rousing rendition of Lift Every Voice and Sing, aka the Black National Anthem.
It’s turning out to be a big old year for four-beers-in B-movies, as shown already by M3gan and Plane, and later this month with the self-explanatory Cocaine Bear but a few weeks after that, we’ll get the great pleasure of watching the often rather self-serious Adam Driver tackle dinosaurs in the nutso-looking thriller 65. He plays a pilot who crash-lands on Earth but somehow it’s 65 million years ago so things go south real fast. Please let him punch a dinosaur in the face, please.
Janelle Monae: ready
Perhaps the best ad of the night might not be a Super Bowl ad but an ad for the Super Bowl? This Apple Music/Rihanna tease will take some beating:
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
The resurgence in popularity of Dungeons and Dragons, and role-playing board games in general, meant that a tussle broke out over who owned the rights to bring it to screen with Paramount ultimately winning out. It’s not the first time someone has tried although for those who endured 2000’s reviled adaptation starring Jeremy Irons and Thora Birch, they might choose to pretend that it is. This one looks to be very much made from the Guardians of the Galaxy template – old rock music, raucous tone, wink-wink humour – which has, admittedly, started to get a little tired in recent years but the presence of Hugh Grant is enough to keep one at least mildly curious.
What exactly can we expect from Rihanna’s big performance tonight? The star has been predictably mysterious about it all but she has teased that it’s come at an important time for her and for representation at large. Here’s more:
While those chaps play those other chaps to win that thing, attention over here is aimed at all of the non-football happenings of the day. There’ll be a ton of celebrity-fronted ads, a string of exciting new trailers and the main reason we’re all feeling giddy today: Rihanna.
The historic hit-maker (she became the fastest woman to score 10 number ones and is only trailed by Elvis, Mariah and The Beatles for overall chart-toppers) will be using the most-watched stage in the country to make one hell of a return to the spotlight (her first on-stage musical appearance since 2018). There’s been a seemingly endless wait for her new album and tonight might offer either new music or a vague idea of when new music is coming. Even if it doesn’t, seeing the star sing her greatest hits will be enough to satiate. Stay tuned.