Gentle reader, “Bridgerton” is back with a fresh season of scandal, compromised virtue, pearl clutching and asphyxiating cleavage.
To celebrate Netflix sating our aristocratic fantasies with Season 2, we bring you the cast of “Bridgerton” as zodiac signs.
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Lady Danbury
With an acerbic tongue and a pension for wrapping herself in arterial shades of red, Lady Danbury is all Aries. Assertive and fierce, she does not suffer fools or tolerate cruelty and relishes the fear she inspires in others. As she says of herself, “I made myself frightening. I sharpened my wit, my wardrobe and my eye, and I made myself the most terrifying creature in every room I entered.” An oft unsung quality of the Aries ilk is their protective approach to the maligned and or mistreated. We see these subtle heroics at work through Lady Danbury’s emotional adoption of Simon. Leading by example, she oversees his evolution from a motherless, stammering boy into a confident, commanding man.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Siena Rosso
In terms of the physical body, Taurus rules the throat, and natives tend to have noteworthy necks and melodious voices. Taurus Siena Rosso is an acclaimed opera singer rarely seen without a signature velvet ribbon tied around her lovely neck. Taureans live for earthly delights and crave creature comforts, priorities exhibited by Siena, whose hair always bears the look of post-coital dishevelment and who finally dismisses Anthony Bridgerton with the very bull decree, “I am comfortable. I am content. He does not wish for me to change and neither do I.”
Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Lady Whistledown / Penelope Featherington
Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication, including hot gossip, articulate insights and petty commentary. Endlessly curious Gemini live to listen, distill and publicly spill. Enter the seemingly omniscient, seriously biting presence of Lady Whistledown a k a Penelope Featherington. Geminis are mutable, meaning they can easily adapt themselves to any situation or seamlessly slip into whatever character is called for, a skill Penelope has perfected. Yet, for all their questionable hot air, Geminis are equal-opportunity muckrakers, unafraid to sling scandal at the lowly or the royal and in that way, we can commend Penelope for democratizing slander and equitably instilling fear.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Lady Portia Featherington
Cancers are the uncontested caretakers of the zodiac. Ruled by the moon, they represent the sacred feminine and the archetype of the mother. Flame-haired Portia Featherington, for all her faults, is a fierce mother with good intentions albeit dubious means, something like the Kris Jenner of Regency-era England. Guided not by cruelty but misguided concern, Portia truly wants what is best for the people that she loves but mistakenly, and relentlessly, operates as if she knows best of all what they need.
Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22) Queen Charlotte
Golda Rosheuvel, the actress that plays Queen Charlotte, describes her character as “wealthy, addicted to snuff, devoted to her family, loves gossip and divinely in love with her husband who is slowly going mad.” It’s the quintessential mix of high drama and decadent living that Leos are made of and built for. Add to the evidence of her Leo-ness that Charlotte hates being wrong, has acrobats at her disposal, takes credit for Mozart, and keeps company with a six pack of Pomeranians which she hand-feeds butter. The preeminent indicator of the queen’s sun sign is her anger at having Lady Thistledown ignore her luncheon, indifference being the greatest insult a Leo can suffer.
Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) Benedict Bridgerton
Virgos are doubly blessed and dually cursed by their ability to see the potential in all things. When it comes to themselves, their pursuit of perfection can be paralyzing. We see this immobility in Benedict Bridgerton, who casts a keen critical eye on the art of others but is unable to create himself. Although symbolized by the virgin, chaste they ain’t, and it tracks that a Virgo like Benedict would be game for group sex and dating a babe below his social station.
Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) Daphne Basset, née Bridgerton
Ruled by Venus, planet of love and beauty, Libra is pretty on purpose and peacekeeping at all costs, two modalities alive and well in the eldest Bridergton girl child, wet-eyed, swollen-lipped Daphne. Libras go to great lengths and the point of self-sabotage to preserve peace and avoid upset, evident in Daphne who was willing to marry a troll to preserve the family name and forced a duke into marriage to avoid a scandal. Daphne’s inability to pick a winning pig for the slaughter demonstrates the Libra quality of inciting ire through indecision.
Libras are incomparable diplomats that promise to press the wrinkles and unpretty realities from each situation, as we see Daphne do when addressing the poverty in Hastings, blithely believing the cure for civil unrest lies in a nice gift basket. Charm is the birthright of Libras and likability their general aim, and Daphne is no exception. She moves through the world with easy sociability and is the clear-and-present favorite of the queen, her own mother and many a clamoring suitor, managing to win the affections of even the hardest heart, the Duke of Hastings.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Simon Duke of Hastings
Simon Basset, aka the Duke of Hastings, literally entered Season 1, Episode 2 on a dark horse, the mascot of the Scorpio ilk and personal anthem of fellow scorpion Katy Perry. Well-dressed with a pension for brooding in dark velvet, Simon is a potent combo of sex and suspicion. Scorpio is ruled by Pluto, planet of death and transformation, and Simon’s own birth coincided with his mother’s demise. Scorned by his father, the late duke of douche, Simon rises from the ashes of his stuttering hellscape of a childhood as a beautiful, albeit broken bachelor. In an attempt at vengeance against his dad, Simon vows never to marry or father children, cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face being the preferred tactic of Scorpios the world over. In terms of relationship compatibility, Libras like Daphne and Scorpios like Simon may be neighbors on the zodiac wheel, but are baffled strangers when it comes to effective communication and conflict resolution.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) Eloise Bridgerton
“Having a nice face and pleasant hair is not an accomplishment,” seethes Sagittarius Eloise to her Libra sister Daphne. Our girl is after more than a marriage match. Archers like Eloise prize freedom over all else and choose the path less traveled over the paved road every time. Sagittarius rules the ninth house of expansion, travel, higher education and philosophy. Fittingly, Eloise’s favored activities include book reading, truth hunting, carriage jacking, speculating, stalking and chain smoking on the fringes of her family property. Eloise yearns to break free from the confines of feminine expectation, to live independently and pursue higher learning. As she tells her sis, “You want to follow your heart, and I wish to nurture my mind.” Feed your head, and let your freedom flag fly, Eloise.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) Marina Thompson
Capricorns are born strategists that can bear the burden of secrets, like their own clandestine pregnancies, and wield the weapons of truth as Marina does in her shrewd dealings with Madame Delacroix’s faux Frenchness and Penelope and her “unrequited fantasy” feels for Colin Bridgerton. A true sea goat, all things are done in the service of self-preservation and personal progress. As the expectant lady herself says, “You may think me a villain, but I did what I thought I must.”
Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) Genevieve Delacroix
The wildcards of the zodiac, Aquarians are famous for developing personas and in the case of Genevieve, accents, that mask their true identities and authentic selves. Aquarius rules the 11th house of friends, and Genevieve proves herself a true one to Siena, taking her in and, in her defense, dressing down the terminally disappointing Anthony Bridgerton.
Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20) Lady Violet Bridgerton
A mutable water sign, Pisces folks feel deeply and have trouble creating or maintaining boundaries. The upswing of their watery nature is that they don’t hold fast to tradition or deal in judgment, exhibited in Lady Violet Bridgerton, unquestionably the most sympathetic and laissez-faire mamas in the ‘Ton. She’s also the most likely to over-imbibe, escape through substance being the preferred Piscean method of crisis management. Further evidence of Violet’s Piscean selfhood is found in the perpetually pastel palette she favors for her brood. Like all Pisces, Violet is a bit of a wayward romantic, preaching forgiveness, speaking in vague metaphors and found most mornings wistfully touching her dead husband’s embroidered pillowcase.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.