'Can't even wipe my bottom!' Jeremy Clarkson issues health update after horrific injury

And it that list wasn’t bad enough, Jeremy admitted: “There are other things I’ve forgotten about, I’m sure, because all I can do as I sit here now is think, ‘God almighty. My thumb hurts so much.'”

It turns out, he was practising making chilli-flavoured crisps that is girlfriend and Clarkson’s Farm co-star Lisa Hogan, could sell in the Diddly Squat farm shop.

Using a special machine called a mandolin, Jeremy detailed how the accident happened – and it sounded very, very painful.

Describing it the mandolin like an “upside-down carpenter’s plane,” he explained: “You slide the potato along it and the razorsharp blade takes a slice off the bottom.

source: express.co.uk