Bille Lourd suffered public heartbreak when her mom, Carrie Fisher, and her grandma, Debbie Reynolds, died within a day of each other back in 2016.
And now the “American Horror Story” starlet, 29, is speaking candidly about the loss of her superstar relatives in the latest episode of the New Day podcast, streaming on Spotify.
“It was brutal. It was really, really brutal, and I still hesitate and stutter because it’s really hard for me,” Lourd said.
The brunette beauty was the only child of Fisher — who was famed for her roles in “Star Wars,” “The Blues Brothers” and “When Harry Met Sally.” Fisher passed away on Dec. 27, 2016, at the age of 60, after spending four days in intensive care.
The following day, Reynolds — Fisher’s mom and the star of “Singin’ In The Rain” among countless other films — died at age 84 after suffering a stroke.
The dual tragedies suddenly left Lourd without her closest relatives, and she subsequently struggled to adjust to their absence.
Almost five years on, Lourd says she still feels the enormous loss.
“I miss my mom every day and my grandma, but really, my mom the most,” she confessed.
“She was the greatest, funniest person ever. She was my best f–king friend ever. There’s no one who will ever be as funny as she is. She was just — she is amazing.”
Lourd told the New Day pod that she rarely speaks candidly about her famous mom and grandma for fear of having her remarks misconstrued by the media.
She stated: “Everything I say gets turned into some headline that I didn’t mean.”
The actress then referenced one particular example, saying: “There’s this one [interview] where I said something, and it was like three months after they died. I didn’t know what the f–k I was talking about or who the f–k I was or what was going on. And I said something like, ‘Well, now that they’re gone, I get to just be Billie.’”
“It sounded like I like wanted them to die, and that is absolutely the opposite of what I wanted. I would do anything to get them back, but it sounded like I was excited to have the ‘Billie Show.’”
Lourd also admitted that she actively resisted publicly linking herself to Fisher and Reynolds when they were alive because she wanted to forge her own path as an actress.
But she says she now regrets that decision.
“We got offered all these random photoshoots and all this weird stuff that happens in my life, but I didn’t want to do them when they were alive because I wanted to make sure that people knew me separately from them,” the star stated.
“Now I wish I could run back and do all of those photoshoots and do anything with them, really.”
Since the death of Fisher and Reynolds, Lourd has become a mom herself. In September of last year, she gave birth to her son, Kingston, with fiancé Austen Rydell.
Back in May, Lourd shared a sweet snap of her and her young son watching her mom in an old “Star Wars” movie.
