It’s true I had been looking forward to watching the last two episodes of “The Queen’s Gambit,” and I had leftover pizza and an open bottle of wine waiting in the fridge. But was I actually going to choose staying home over going out with friends, when for an entire year I had done nothing but stream Netflix alone in my apartment?
Now, this equivocating might not be that unusual for the average person. But I am someone who essentially mingles for a living. Before the pandemic I went out five or six nights a week. I am a devotee of dinner parties, a promoter of in-person interactions. For months I’d been stuck inside in my muumuu and slippers; I should have been totally starved for human contact. Suddenly, a horrible thought struck me: Had Covid-19 turned me into an introvert?
Our country’s intense partisan divide is another contributing factor. Many people were all too glad not to have to endure the stress of their family Thanksgiving dinner table last year, where politics often rears its head. But these days every conversation seems to lead to trouble. Even a casual observation about how pretty a passerby’s mask is can become an argument over the need for face-coverings and social distancing.
The longer you haven’t done something, the harder it is. Who feels like going for a run when you haven’t run in months? Our mingling muscles have atrophied to such a degree many of us may not even realize it. While a year of video chats may have honed our computer skills, they have eroded our conversational skills. Zoom has accustomed us to exchanges that are more like meetings, with only one person able to speak at any given time. On group chats, it’s easy to just sit back and listen, which causes people to become even more socially rusty.
For most of us, getting back into the swing of social life feels a bit like coming out of the storm cellar after a tornado. Emerging from our Covid caves, we are blinking our eyes in the sunlight, vaguely nervous, feeling awkward. Is it really okay out here? We also have worries that are akin to stage fright. What can I possibly find to talk about? What if people discover how little I’ve accomplished during the past year?
One friend, Victoria, forced herself to overcome the inner voice telling her it wasn’t worth the effort to drive all the way into the city from a nearby suburb to see and old friend. “It turned out to be the best thing I have done all month. I can’t believe I almost didn’t go — I had almost convinced myself I had too much to do at home. But then I remembered, I used to go out all the time!”
So did I forgo that evening of Netflix and pizza in favor of dinner with friends? Yes and no. We ended up ordering pizza at the restaurant while talking about everyone’s favorite show….”The Queen’s Gambit.”