Dee, dee-dee, dee. Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. Dee dee dee-dee-dee-dee, dee, dee, dee, dee … ding ding! So say the immortal opening bars to Nintendo’s seminal, timeless classic, Super Mario Land. Those of you familiar with it will remember meeting a young Jaap Stam, and also the feeling of spending an hour or so racing to World 4 level 2, the penultimate stage of the game, only to be killed, again, by the circling fireballs – a source of intense pubescent anguish.
This, he effortlessly segued, is where Leicester find themselves now – poised to be sent back to the start, with only wasted time and righteous fury to show for their work. They were excellent in the opening half of the season, solid at the back, enterprising in midfield and electric up front, but since the turn of the year have been careless, profligate and dry. As such, the Champions League spot that looked certain is now odds against; if they cannot win today, they will probably need to beat Manchester United in their final game, and even that may not be enough. They need to find a mushroom or catch a star, forthwith.
As for Spurs, well who even knows. They too need a result because, like all clubs, they’ve lost a ton of bunce and, unlike all clubs, they’re paying the mortgage on a new ground. If they cannot make the Europa League … Joe Lewis will still be worth $4.8bn.
Meanwhile, the fans continue to experience the Mourinho cycle on warp. There’s a tendency among some to dismiss his football as outdated, but the reality is somewhat different to that. His Chelsea team would have a good go at winning “this league” – imagine the grief he’d give Jürgen Klopp, imagine Trent Alexander-Arnold and Andy Robertson trying to get forward with Arjen Robben and Damien Duff behind them – but Mourinho’s refusal to adapt his style of play or management according to the squad and personalities that he has, and allowing the worst of him to consume the best of him, makes it difficult to see him getting close to another title. .
As such, Daniel Levy has some thinking to perform this summer. Will he trust Mourinho to build something, or will he anticipate a further season without Champions League football and good players pleading to leave. And, if so, will he be honest enough to admit an expensive mistake?
There’s a lot going on here; watching things unfold should make for an extremely acceptable afternoon.
Kick-off: 4pm BST
