We All Live in Bubbles Now. How Safe Is Yours?

The problem was not the girlfriend, the singer, the drummer and the guitarist told their recording engineer. They liked his girlfriend. They trusted his girlfriend. It was her four roommates and their friends and their lovers. Who were they seeing? What were they touching?

And so the members of Sure Sure, a self-described “art pop band” based in Los Angeles, made a proposal to their roommate and his girlfriend. She could live with them as “the ’rona” raged across the city, but there would be no more swinging by her place. It was all or nothing.

A few miles away, an actress was grappling with a similar predicament. She was living with a cousin who had started seeing someone before the coronavirus was declared a pandemic. Could the couple go for just one walk?

The actress, Lyla Porter-Follows, recalled measuring six feet of twine. Sure, she said, if they kept the string taut.

Connoisseurs of bubbles have observed at least three types.

The first is the Basic Bubble. It consists of whoever was living in a household pre-coronavirus — whether it was one person, a large family or a couple who want to break up.

The Basic Bubble can become a tense place when its inhabitants can’t agree on boundaries. A teacher in Salt Lake City said she hoped her three roommates would stay put. But two kept seeing people outside the household. Ultimately she and her top-floor roommate split with the first floor. They now communicate over FaceTime.

The next type you could call the Incorporated Bubble: people in one apartment or house invite friends, professional collaborators or relatives living in other households to move in with them.

Some do it because it seems like the safest way to continue to see people. Others do it to ward off loneliness. Soy Nguyen of Los Angeles, who moved in with a friend about a month ago, said this is why she’s still in good spirits. “Honestly, if we weren’t quarantined together and kind of lifting each other up, I don’t know how I would hold up.”

One challenge is that once you’ve started inviting other people into your bubble, it can be difficult to stop. Michael Nesmith, a high school football coach who lives with his wife and daughter in Maryland, had already agreed to let a niece and a cousin move in. Then his daughter asked if a close friend whose family lived far away could be a final addition.

That was challenging,” Mr. Nesmith said. “I feel for this young man.” But he also felt responsible for the four women. “To run the risk of jeopardizing them for someone outside family, I just wasn’t going to do it,” he said.

Then there’s the Conjoined Bubble. The inhabitants of two or more bubbles get exclusive, agreeing to see one another while maintaining separate dwellings. Some people have practical reasons for this: they might agree to share home-schooling or babysitting with neighbors, for example.

When we “cheat” on our bubbles, we are often driven by the belief that we can do it safely. But the promises we make ourselves about standing across the yard or waving instead of talking have a way of evaporating once we get there.

Autopilot seems to be one culprit, said Siouxsie Wiles, a microbiologist at the University of Auckland.

Though she is one of New Zealand’s most consistent communicators about keeping one’s distance, she said she recently found herself asking a stranger in a store to hand her a box of Corn Flakes from the top shelf. Deep-seated fears of offending others are also to blame; she suggests reminding friends that your concern is that you could infect them.

Dr. Goodreau said that years of public health work have taught him that people have a “good amount of wishful thinking” around friends and family, making it easy for us to convince ourselves that talking by the gate is not risky.

The only foolproof way to protect ourselves, researchers agree, is to avoid the situation altogether.

A Brooklyn woman, who did not want to be publicly linked to the coronavirus, learned this lesson recently while running with a neighbor. Before meeting up, they agreed to stay six feet apart. But once they started moving, it didn’t happen.

When she got home, her boyfriend was upset. On his own run, he had spotted them bopping along, practically touching. Why?

It was hard to articulate. “It seems like you can do it,” she said. “But actually trying to do it, it’s so difficult.”

She has not ventured outside her two-person Basic Bubble since.

source: nytimes.com