32nd over: England 62-3 (Denly 8, Root 6) Santner gives Root just a soupçon of width and he goes back and across to stroke for four. He seems to have a plan today – back foot where possible to play the ball late and close – and looks comfortable out there. But then he usually does – his problem has been getting in and getting out. There’s one little warning – the fourth ball absolutely rags, and though it ends up at slip, it’ll now be in the batsman’s mind.
31st over: England 57-3 (Denly 8, Root 1) Southee is mainly shaping them away, which is probably how Denly prefers it. He own’t be tempted to drive anything silly, so can just keep em peeled, Shaw Taylor-style, for the in-ducker. Anyroad up, Denly takes one off his pads and then Root gets off the mark in similar fashion.
30th over: England 55-3 (Denly 7, Root 0) Perhaps the pitch is doing something after all – it’s funny how it’s death and reincarnation coincide with England batting on it. Santner, who had such a day out yesterday, has the ball, and already looks more dangerous than did Leach, firing darts in nice and full. Root, though, is watchful, playing mainly off the back foot, and sees a way another maiden.
29th over: England 55-3 (Denly 7, Root 0) Southee begins, and Denly drives his third delivery gently to cover. Otherwise, he’s able to leave well alone … until a little extra bounce from a nip-backer sees him cut in half and tickled on the ribs. Maiden.
Oh yes! A group of England fans are singing Jerusalem, doing actions, prior to applauding themselves! I’m choking up here, and Joe Root has called for a hanky.
“That so very English experience,” tweets Guy Hornsby. “Going to bed without any idea what the score will be when the alarm goes off. Hoping for obduracy and survival, expecting somewhere between capitulation and disappointment, with a brief glimmer of hope on the side.”
I’m a big fan of sleep with the earphone in. Especially when Mood Enhancer has been taken, there’s nothing more relaxing, until the score is disbursed.
“Like most of your readers I’ve just spent the day writing about the different phenomenological approaches of Levinas and Derrida,” confesses Peter Salmon. “Knocked off to relax with OBO and first link is to Talmudic Hermeneutics. Oy vey! Will I never be free?”
Foucault would say no.
Talking of which, is there a reason the Dukes isn’t mandatory everywhere ? You still get your local conditions, but you also get a more entertaining game.
He thinks that county matches need to be on flatter tracks – obviously problematic, given it’s shunted to early and late in the season, with the driest time given over to T20. Talking about Jofra Archer, he says that he needs time – this is his first Test overseas and his first go with the Kookaburra ball.
Jos Buttler tells Sky that England have a big job to do, but if they apply themselves they can bat time. He says that if you look to play shots you get into better positions to defend, and blames the batting for the predicament not the bowling.
In the studio, they think Wagner will be tough to face, but my money is on Boult. He didn’t bowl well in the first innings, so by law of averages it’s unlikely he won’t be better in the second, he’ll know he’s good enough to be the hero, and he’ll be attacking the stumps.
The cracks that were at one end yesterday have grown a little bit, but there’s still nothing to worry the batsmen but the situation. Teams rarely get out of this predicament because pressure tells.
If anyone’s ever needed a captain’s knock, it’s Joe Root. As we discussed yesterday, leading from the front is the best attribute any captain can have, but kal vachomer, how much more so, if they’re not great at the other stuff. A flawless 65 won’t do it here – England need tachlis, substance.
It’s been almost subcontinental, this Test: slow, slow, quick, slow slow quick and potentially very quick. Except this track, as well as offering nowt to the quicks has offered nowt to the spinners either. Today, though, will be a trip.
Preamble
Those of you who remember the 80s will be exceedingly au fait with what we are about to see, namely England getting whacked in a Test match. And you will also be familiar with the game of Othello, along with its strapline: “a minute to learn, a lifetime to master”. On Thursday and Friday, England reversed this maxim, first proving that they can actually bat properly, then ceasing to bat properly because once you’ve mastered it, what’s the point?
The thing is, England really should save this match, given batsmen whose highest level is extremely high and a ball that does almost nothing on a pitch that’s doing absolutely nothing. If they play sensibly, concentrate hard and deny themselves pleasure, they will pull it off. New Zealand do have some handy bowlers, it’s true, but that’s so of England too, and we saw what happened to them.
As we all know, sport is like, like life, yeah – and never has that been more so than it is so today. England are faced, not with a test of skill but a test of will, and as such we will see how they respond when confronted with the single, thorny question that taxes every single one of us on every day of our lives: can I be arsed?
Play: 11am local time, 10pm GMT.
Updated