Ashes 2019: England v Australia first Test, day five – live!

“I was listening to the Cardiff epic on the way back from Alton Towers,” recalls Steve Castle. “My stomach was already in knots after an unwise decision to take repeated rides on Oblivion, and I was frankly in such a state as Jimmy and Monty bravely blocked, nudged and ducked I should not have been behind the wheel of a vehicle.”

2009 is such an underrated series. If not for 2005, sigh. Free TV, sigh.

“Re The Open,” he continues. “You are almost correct, but instead of the Great White Shark competing for the Claret Jug, it was the venerable Tom Watson. He eventually lost out in a heartbreaking play-off to Stewart Cink. I’ve always felt a tiny bit of sympathy for Cink – that day was the culmination of all those years of practice, commitment and focus, and yet everybody loathed him for pipping Watson.”

Of course! That makes a lot more sense. Norman did come close to winning a major around that era though, didn’t he?

“I always have to think twice about whether I turn on Liveblog updates or not,” writes Anthony Noel. “As an England fan this morning, who also needs to pay attention at work today, the question is: do I active the Liveblog alerts switch, or do I just check in manually every now and again? Automatic alerts will presumably only be bearers of bad news, whereas the optimist in me can remain undisturbed so long as I leave my phone alone. On the other hand, if I was an Aussie this morning I’d want to be notified about every single development because each little message will bring another bit of good news.”

Stick with me through the day and everything will be okay.

“Morning Adam.” If it isn’t the master predictor Kim Thonger! “I’m assuming that the English batting will find itself in a ‘spot of bother’ at some stage today, but may I make a plea in advance for total avoidance of the word collapse? It’s become hackneyed, and I’d like to put in a good word for some of the fine alternatives available to us, such as crumple, disintegrate, cave in, slump or subside. Fine words all of them, and they deserve their time in the sun, or even in warm but slightly overcast and weather.”

When writing on collapses, there’s a lot of *right click/synonym* going on, which means I give all of these a run. A touch harder with the OBO when you get once chance, and no time to edit, but I’ll try.

The film that I mentioned earlier. It’s magnificent.
source: theguardian.com