Transcript for Jay Leno on current state of late night comedy and how he handled politics
Jay Leno bid farewell to the “Tonight show” back in 2014. If only he’d known at the time that Donald Trump would soon take the white house and become the greatest gift a late night comedian could ever wish for. Here to catch us up on what he’s been doing, as well as his thoughts on the current state of late night comedy and other things that are going on in the world is my old friend, the legendary Jay Leno. ??? I’m the only man that can bring joy and Meghan together. 100% true. That’s right. 100% true. I actually have friends on both sides of the aisle. Say it ain’t so. You don’t like the idea that the late night comics are so one-sided. Is that true? No, it’s not that I don’t like the idea. It’s just the fact that all the jokes — it’s kind of the same joke. I love them all, Samantha and Jimmy and the other Jimmy and Colbert but you’re all kind of the doing a different version of the same joke. That was my whole point. To me I like to humiliate and degrade both sides equally. One side is doing such a good job of humiliating and degrading themselves. That’s true. Bob Hope used to do that. I used to do it when Clinton was horny and bush was dumb. It’s what we call a simpler time. You know, I did stand-up up until Obama came in because I was losing interest because he was too good and there was nothing to make fun of there. With bush, it was a bow Zan za. I want to talk to you about Mitt Romney. Did you see this video? Show the video of Mitt Romney. He’s blowing out his candles. It’s a twinkie birthday cake. Because he’s so good, because he doesn’t want to spread his germs all over the birthday cake, he blows one out at a time. Yes, look at that. Here’s what I love about Mitt you open up the dictionary and you look up white guy — There he is. It’s so funny. He’s like the white guy. He’s doing like a public A mean, I’m technically a white guy but I’m Italian and when I see him I go, that’s a white guy. He’s got the tie. And you know, a more decent guy you couldn’t find. He truly is a decent man. When his wife got muscular dystrophy, he took time out and took care of her. He’s one of those guys when white guys tell a joke, he’s like, here’s a funny anecdote. You’re doing it wrong. The last time when we at Ana’s wedding he was there but do you remember when he tied his dog to the roof of the car? I don’t remember that. You did jokes on it. Stop it. I didn’t do jokes about it. You were talking about fasting and dieting with him ten days ago. That was the one thing he did that I did not like. It’s not Jay’s fault. You can’t yell at me for that. Public service, I mean, how many times haven’t you gone to a kids’ party and they’re like — and you don’t want the cake. He just have that are, gee, golly will akerrs thing going. You know when he swears he goes, gee golly. We grew up in a time I never heard an English swear word. Always yelling in Italian. . He’s mormen and I’m mormen and I understand. You don’t drink, you don’t curse and you don’t have affairs. She has sex. She’s got two in the oven. We have a lot of doughnuts. We have a lot of hot chocolate. We still have our vices. Look, I’ve since — I drink now. This is off the rails. This is not how I want to impress Jay Leno on this show right now. We were talking about this college admissions scandal. I love it. Tell me why. Because it’s got movie stars. It’s got sports. It’s got money. It’s got rich people screwing poor people. It’s the classic news story. The best news story before this was Robert Kraft with the patriots. You had the super bowl, you had a rich guy going to — it was like the different classes finally meeting. Hilarious. That was hilarious and that woman showing up in every selfie of every Republican politician in like the western hemisphere. I’ll tell you a joke I had during the break but I can’t do That’s a tease. That was wrong of you. I am a tease, as you know, joy. That’s so Mitt Romney of you. Next month is the white house correspondents’ dinner. For the first time in my memory we have no comedian. I’m sad about that. What do you think about that? The first time I did it was Reagan. Who had a sense of humor. He did. But it was the first time he ever got nervous at a gig. I’m get there and I’m backstage. What year is this? Mid ’80s. This general comes in with the hat on and he goes, are you a comedian? I go, yes, sir. He said, let me tell you something, this is my president, this is my commander-in-chief. He’s poking hip. He goes, you don’t make fun of him or denigrate. Then George Shultz comes in. Hey Leno, come here, nail Ronny’s ass to the wall. That fake thing on his head, nail his ass to the wall. I said that general — he said he works for me, screw him. I said what do I do? What did you do? Did you nail his ass to the wall? What did Reagan tell you? Hold that story because we have to take a break. I’m sorry. I want to hear a Ronald Reagan story. I’m on a tight budget here. More with Jay Leno when we come back. Back. (Mom) Yeah honey, how about we play… Princess and pirates? (Announcer) Imagine what you can do with more migraine-free days. (Pirate) Arr! (Mom) En garde! (Announcer) When you’re not fighting through migraine imagine the possibilities. Once-monthly Emgality is used for the prevention of migraine in adults. It’s specifically developed to help give you more migraine-free days. With Emgality about 60% of people had their migraine days cut in half or more. Do not use if you are allergic to Emgality or its ingredients. Emgality may cause allergic reactions, such as itching, rash, hives and trouble breathing, which can happen days after use. Call your doctor or get medical help right away if you have symptoms of an allergic reaction. The most common side effects include injection site reactions. (Mom) What should we do tomorrow? (Announcer) Ask your doctor about Emgality. 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I was sitting with him once, he said Jay, were you a good I said, no, Mr. President, I wasn’t. He goes, Jay, I was a good student. I always kick myself thinking how much further I could have gone if I applied myself. He was the president. That’s an amazing story. The other thing is before we go on, WHAs the cholesterol 911 campaign you’re working with and what does Rodney Dangerfield have to do with it? I had Rodney on my show. I was watching Rodney and he was — we all know — we study other comics. You know how Rodney would do, hey, how are you. He was hilarious. His movements were off and I said to my producer call the paramedics, I think Rodney is having a problem. Rodney finishes his stand-up,
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