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Darren Gough believes England need more characters
It means our interview slot has been reduced to a hurried chinwag in the back of a black cab. The driver is frazzled, stress levels are rising and Gough is desperate for the toilet; elements hardly conducive to a vintage article. Gough, however, offers advice on the art of acting nonchalant under pressure.
“I had a shocker one day on Newcastle beach just outside New South Wales,” he says. “I nearly drowned! I got caught in a rip current and drifted a long way out. I’m quite a strong swimmer but the lifeguard rushed out and shouted: ‘Are you all right?’
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“I said: ‘Yeah, yeah all good’. But he knew I wasn’t. He told me which way to swim and I tried to style it out. The worst thing is I walked out of the water and I was totally exhausted – I’d been trying to swim out of the rip for about 40 minutes – and Sky cameras were there waiting for me.
“I was like a drowned rat – and I was convinced I was about 10 minutes away from dying – but I just had to act cool.”
The current crop of England cricketers could heed a lesson. Gough was swimming against the current, just like they are now.
England cricket team go paintballing ahead of Ashes
Tue, November 14, 2017
The England cricket team have been enjoying themselves paintballing in Townsville ahead of the first Ashes test against Australia
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The England cricket team tried their hand at paintballing in Townsville
I played 17 Tests in Australia and I only won three of them – so I had to have a good personality
It is too early to call this Ashes series a lost cause but things are not looking good. A solution for fellow Yorkshireman Joe Root? Keep smiling.
“You need characters when you’re losing,” he says. “I played 17 Tests in Australia and I only won three of them – so I had to have a good personality. Once, we got thrashed by Australia A – their B team – and I didn’t play in the game. I was being rested for the Test.
“They knocked off 330 in their last innings, which you wouldn’t have believed. Angus Fraser had gone for 100 and I came in the dressing room dressed as Santa Claus – it was before the Christmas Melbourne Test – and I sat him on my knee.
“He’s a big lad Angus and I said: ‘Now then son, I’ve been thinking about your Christmas present’. And I got up and brought in a wheelbarrow with a sack in it and I said: ‘I’ve brought your bowling figure in from the score board’. The dressing room loves stuff like that.”
Although England’s performances now are no laughing matter, the nineties were full of low points. At least the current crop can have a good night’s sleep though.
“They [the current England squad] had sharing rooms in Perth – but look at the suites they had. We had little twin rooms which was ridiculous,” says Gough.
“I had a few horror stories. I shared the honeymoon suite with Devon Malcolm, which was romantic.
“I roomed with Jack Russell in India. Jack would sit in his under crackers and paint. He used to put a washing line across the middle of the room and you weren’t allowed to go on his side.
“The other one was Peter Martin. He’s the biggest snorer, so to get out of it I recorded him. I took it down to reception in my pyjamas and they immediately upgraded me.”
We are now rapidly approaching BBC broadcast house, the stop for Gough’s next slot. The cab driver is not a sports fan and only recognises Gough from Strictly Come Dancing – which he won in 2005.
Gough is happy to politely explain that he was also once a pretty handy cricketer. “Sydney, 1999, I became the only Englishman in over 100 years to get an Ashes hat-trick,” he says.
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Darren Gough regrets calling time on his career so early
“On the hat-trick ball, I just remembered I’d got two in two and someone said: ‘You’re on a hat-trick Daz’. I’ve never been good at maths but I knew three in three is a hat-trick.
“The noise just before I bowled – with all the barmy army and everyone in the stand – is something I’ll remember for ever. And then you get it [hat-trick] and you can’t hear anything because you can’t believe it has happened – you’re in shock. You only realise what you’ve done after the day’s play and you face the media.”
Gough played in four Ashes series but injury meant he missed out on a fifth clash with the old enemy. He retired from Test cricket aged just 31 and it still hurts.
“I was at my peak,” he says. “I did my knee in a one day game in New Zealand. I look back now and wish my legs would have held up.”
We have pulled over and Gough needs to dash. to avoid finishing the interview on a gloomy note, he is asked for his best sledging story.
He ponders for a minute and replies: “Shane Warne once said to me: ‘Here he is – Goughie. Champagne player on a beer budget’.”
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