Importance Score: 45 / 100 🔵
Since my early twenties, a significant amount has transformed. As a broke university student 15 years ago, I still lived at my family home using the shared desktop computer. Back then, Googling “am I gay?” was out of the question.
Instead, I secretly purchased *The L Word* DVDs and concealed them under my bed. It was a time devoid of streaming services and iPhones—truly dire circumstances! (I assure you, I’m not that old.)
My “research” was limited to antiquated “am I gay?” questionnaires from magazines. These surveys, though archaic now, introduced me to the concept of sexuality existing on a spectrum rather than being strictly black and white. For amusement, I recently retook a queer quiz even though I’m openly out and married to a woman. The results indicated that ‘queer’ as an identifier feels appropriate because I lean closer to bisexual than gay.
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But I digress.
Today, burgeoning queer individuals are employing AI tools to deliberate their sexual orientation, mirroring AI’s role as a therapist and sounding board. However, always remember that matters of the heart are not best outsourced to artificial intelligence. Chatbots can’t supplant supportive friends or trained professionals.
Can AI provide a means of more actively exploring orientation compared to a generic search? It could serve as a tool for those contemplating coming out. To examine its potential benefits, I utilized ChatGPT to see if it could be genuinely supportive.
Use AI chatbots cautiously. Erasing your ChatGPT history might be more complex than it appears.
Finding Pride Through AI Prompts
Identifying as queer, I recognize several potential uses for AI in the coming-out process. It holds promise for clarifying confusing feelings, choosing the most suitable label (queer, LGBTQ+, etc.), uncovering supportive resources, and even formulating talking points for discussions with family and friends.
I wanted to determine if AI could innovate the queer quiz for more insightful and interactive results. My prompt to ChatGPT was: “Recreate the ‘am I gay?’ quizzes that many queer-curious people used to take when they were first trying to figure out their sexual identity. I’d like to take this quiz now.”
ChatGPT framed taking the quiz as a “rite of passage” and then presented a modern revision.
The quiz was initially clumsy, so I asked ChatGPT to provide selectable buttons instead of requiring Yes, No, or Unsure responses. To its credit, it complied.
However, when it came time to select answers, the buttons proved inoperable. ChatGPT then revealed that it could not generate clickable or interactive checkboxes.
“I wish I could offer real buttons or toggles, but those aren’t supported here,” ChatGPT clarified.
Returning to the original quiz format, I inputted answers one at a time manually.
Some questions were poorly framed. For instance, one question needed more nuance than a simple Yes, No, or Unsure. While I replied “Yes”, the chatbot didn’t know which gender to which I was referring.
Additionally, the quiz focused on my feelings toward the same gender without inquiring about my feelings toward the opposite gender, making it somewhat biased. Unlike vintage queer quizzes, ChatGPT hesitated to label me or offer any concrete assessment.
If I entertain the idea of potentially being gay, it is safe to say that I’m plausibly not strictly straight. Give it to me straight! Or gay!
Queer quiz: 1
ChatGPT: 0
Leveraging AI for Coming-Out Conversation Strategies
AI proves more advantageous in scenario and conversation planning. It enables users to enter specific circumstances and solicit advice on how to address the topic with more traditional family members.
Asking ChatGPT about the common challenges parents encounter upon discovering their children identify as queer opens insightful perspectives. Specific questions to ask ChatGPT will vary depending on an individuals circumstances. Consider, for instance, my parents. They are older, reserved, and were raised in a religious environment, though they are kind-hearted and ultimately desire the best for me.
I provided ChatGPT with my specific context and solicited advice on how to broach coming out to my parents.
ChatGPT recommended first reflecting on the reasons for coming out – desiring greater honesty or seeking acknowledgement of my partner and aiming for a more authentic relationship. It suggested deciding upon an in-person conversation, a phone or video call, or a written communication.
Then, it provided potential scripts:
The chatbot then continued with more sound counsel, emphasizing that coming out is not a singular event but an ongoing journey that involves repeatedly “coming out” to new acquaintances. I still encounter inquiries regarding my husband because I present as feminine and ostensibly do not “look” queer. Finally, it emphasized the importance of securing support for after the announcement to my parents.
Having been through this process already, I understood my parents’ likely reactions. My mother responded initially with “so you don’t like guys anymore?” I queried ChatGPT for advice on addressing this query. It assisted in unpacking her underlying question and provided reassuring responses.
ChatGPT offered a menu of options tailored to whether I preferred to “gently clarify,” “educate a little,” “emphasize emotion over identity,” or “set a boundary without explaining.”
Personalize Your Coming-Out Journey With ChatGPT
As you navigate the coming-out journey, you can input specific responses, questions, or concerns into ChatGPT. If concerns focus on starting a family or navigating identity in professional settings, you can tailor prompts around these issues.
Another way to use ChatGPT is to discover movies, books, YouTubers and resources for LGBTQ+ people. Media representation is an integral element of self discovery.
Example prompts include:
- What are the most beautiful queer movies and books?
- Who are some of the best female LGBTQ+ YouTubers?
- I’m in NYC — what are some local queer organizations, events, bars, and attractions?
Better yet, share the art that has most affected you with ChatGPT, and ask for related movie and book resources.
ChatGPT categorized my taste as “beautiful, emotionally intense.” (But it already knew that about me.)
Here’s the book list ChatGPT generated:
Verdict: Helpful or Not?
The ability to engage in dynamic dialogues with AI on specific questions, issues, and information proved advantageous. While it is no substitute for actual connections created through friends and queer spaces, it remains a valuable resource for feeling less alienated.