Importance Score: 4 / 100 🟠
Navigating Family Dynamics: Reader Seeks Advice on Mother-in-Law’s Affectionate Behavior
DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law resides with us, fostering a close and amicable relationship with my husband, with whom she shares many personality traits. Both are extroverted, demonstrative with hugs, and highly communicative. I often feel excluded from their dynamic, typically engaging in solitary activities such as reading in another area of our home or leaving the house to pursue personal interests.
Concerns Over Mother-in-Law’s Affectionate Displays
Overall, domestic life proceeds smoothly. However, a point of contention arises from their bedtime ritual: they routinely embrace and exchange a brief kiss on the lips. This gesture profoundlyDispleases me. I have expressed my discomfort to my husband, who dismisses my feelings with the rationale, “It’s my mom.” I have countered by stating that physical affection of that nature was absent in my relationship with my own father. Frankly, I am reaching a point where I am weary of her continued presence in our household. Is their kissing a normal expression of familial affection? — PUT OFF IN OREGON
Abby’s Response Addresses Marital Communication
DEAR PUT OFF: My personal opinion on the appropriateness of your husband’s mother kissing him on the mouth holds little significance. It appears this has been a consistent behavior since his childhood; therefore, it is normalized within their relationship. Your familial experiences with your father are not comparable. The actual issue lies in your pervasive feeling of marginalization. This emotional state is unhealthy and will persist unless you engage in an open and honest conversation with your husband to address these concerns directly.
LIGE Mens Smart Watch with Wireless Calls, Wireless, Monitor, Step Counter, Stopwatch, Multi-Sport Mode, ...
🎉 Exclusive deal [$22.39]
Mens Sporty Hooded Sweatshirt - Navy Blue with Copper Bow Accents, Regular Fit, Machine Washable ...
🎉 Exclusive deal [$0.77]
Mens Lightweight Breathable Basketball Running Gym Shoes - Stability Support, EVA Cushioned Sole, Vi...
🎉 Exclusive deal [$0.79]
Challenges in Godparent-Godchild Relationships: Communication Breakdown Causes Distress
DEAR ABBY: My godchildren and I have historically enjoyed a very deep connection. They have always regarded me as a maternal figure. We were fortunate to maintain excellent communication until recently. The eldest goddaughter consistently sent warm Mother’s Day greetings and maintained frequent phone contact.
Sudden Silence Raises Questions and Concerns
Approximately a year ago, she abruptly ceased all communication attempts. Her younger sister, also an adult with her own family, initially remarked on the peculiarity of this change but has now adopted similar behavior. She initially condemned the silence, but now fails to return my calls. Occasionally, she sends affectionate text messages citing busyness as the reason for infrequent contact.
Seeking Understanding and Resolution in Fading Relationships
My godson, with whom I share the closest bond, has not exhibited these communication issues. When I inquire if he perceives any problems with his sisters or a shift in their feelings towards me, he suggests they are likely preoccupied. When I directly ask the younger goddaughter if anything is amiss, she invariably responds, “No, love you, Mama! Been busy.” However, she no longer initiates contact herself, and the older goddaughter now completely ignores my outreach efforts. I am at a loss and deeply saddened by this shift in dynamics with my grown godchildren, who are like my own. Your guidance is needed. — SAD GODMOTHER IN FLORIDA
Abby Advises Understanding and Self-Care Amidst Shifting Family Dynamics
DEAR GODMOTHER: You are interpreting their decreased contact as personal rejection, which is likely an inaccurate assessment. Your godchildren are no longer children; they are adults carrying adult responsibilities, including families, spouses, and demanding careers that consume their time. Your godson and younger goddaughter have offered explanations for their reduced communication frequency. It is advisable to respect their space and adjust your expectations. Focus on enriching your own life with fulfilling activities, spending time with peers, and dedicating your free time to volunteer work or causes you find meaningful.