Trump loses, Paltrow wins: Twitter marks a historic afternoon for America

An ex-president indicted for alleged hush money payments to a porn star. A wealthy actor and wellness guru vindicated in a nail-biting fight for justice against a retired optometrist. And all in the space of a few hours.

The reaction on Twitter was clear: God bless America.

Social media was quick to flood with users highlighting the remarkable timing of the verdicts. First came the supposedly untouchable Donald Trump, who was indicted by a New York grand jury over an alleged hush money payment made to the adult film actress Stormy Daniels during the 2016 election. Less than two hours later, in a Utah courtroom, a jury sided with Gwyneth Paltrow, finding her not at fault for a ski accident with Terry Sanderson at a posh mountain resort, and awarding her $1 in compensation.

Trump indicted, Paltrow vindicated

— Scott Nover (@ScottNover) March 30, 2023

Trump, whose other accomplishments include trying to overturn a legitimate election and seeking political counsel from a pillow salesman, will soon be fingerprinted and processed for a felony arrest – marking a first for a US president. Paltrow, a Hollywood nepo baby turned orgasm-candle salesperson, captivated onlookers during a weighty civil suit, which offered a rare glimpse into what it’s like to be absurdly rich.

Some Twitter users reacted with pure, unfiltered joy.



— Jon Lovett (@jonlovett) March 30, 2023

Others remarked that a better afternoon of legal drama couldn’t have been scripted for television.

Gwyneth Paltrow being declared innocent and Trump getting indicted within minutes of each other is honestly too much for this website. Shonda herself couldn’t have written a more dramatic mid season episode. Ain’t god good?!

— Gay and Tired (@GayChemist) March 30, 2023

The timing also led to speculation about how the two celebrities might feel about sharing the spotlight.