Choose An Enemy was a first-person puncher with some pretty weaksauce nemeses

From 2010 to 2014 Richard Cobbett (opens in new tab) wrote Crapshoot, a column about rolling the dice to bring random games back into the light. This week, an offer it sounds like nobody should refuse! It’s on! MORE DULL KOMBAT 2! STREET FIGHTER 2: ACTUALLY ON THE STREET EDITION! Round 1! Fight!

I think I’d probably go for ’90s Rick Moranis. The early-ish one, before the millions and millions of dollars that would allow for the hiring of bodyguards and lawyers to sweep any ‘unpleasantness’ under the carpet. Nothing against the guy himself, I just think that if you’re picking an enemy, go for someone you can probably take on, unless he turns out to be Stay Puft Marshmallow Man size, in which case… hmm. Never mind, I wouldn’t want to leave any wiggle room for whatever celestial entity is making this offer.