Gang rape survivor Jessica Knoll used the horrific trauma of her past to inspire a best-selling novel, which is now set to be retold in an upcoming Netflix movie starring Mila Kunis.
American author Knoll, 39, who hails from Pennsylvania, released her first novel, Luckiest Girl Alive, in May 2015 – which followed a young woman and sexual assault victim named Ani, who struggled to come to terms with her troubled childhood.
The book was an instant success spent four months on the New York Times Best Seller list, propelling Knoll into the spotlight practically over night.
While at first, Knoll told the public that she drew from stories she had heard from others while writing Ani’s tale, she later revealed that she herself was the victim of a horrifying gang rape at age 15, which ultimately inspired the book.
Gang rape survivor Jessica Knoll used the horrific trauma of her past to inspire a best-selling novel, which is now set to be retold in an upcoming Netflix movie. She is seen with the script
Knoll, 39, who hails from Pennsylvania, released her first novel, Luckiest Girl Alive, in May 2015, which followed a young woman and sexual assault victim named Ani
Knoll (seen as a child) first said she drew from stories she had heard from others while writing Ani’s tale, but later revealed that she herself was the victim of a horrifying gang rape at age 15
In an emotional essay written for Lena Dunham’s newsletter posted in March 2016, almost a year after the book’s release, Knoll said that while the novel ‘is a work of fiction, its inspiration was not.’
‘I know what it’s like to not belong,’ she wrote. ‘I know what it’s like to shut down and power through, to have no other choice than to pretend to be OK. I am a savant of survivor mode.’
Knoll revealed that she once got drunk at a party and awoke to three different guys sexually assaulting her – when she was just 15 years old.
She said she drank so much alcohol that she ‘slipped away from the waking world,’ and came to ‘on the floor of a bedroom’ horrified to find a boy’s head ‘between her legs.’ She soon fell asleep again, but was awoken by an ‘excruciating pain.’
‘The pain is what woke me next,’ she explained. ‘I was moaning, “Ow,” over and over, before even opening my eyes.
‘This time [another boy] was there, his shoulders rising and falling above me in an excruciating rhythm.’
Knoll said she passed out again, and woke up for a third time in the bathroom surrounded by blood.
She said: ‘I went under again, coming to on my knees in the bathroom, staring into a toilet full of blood. I know I was too young to understand. I thought I must have cut myself.’
In an emotional essay written in March 2016, almost a year after the book’s release, Knoll (seen with the novel) said that while it ‘is a work of fiction, its inspiration was not’
Knoll (seen this year) revealed that she once got drunk at a party and awoke to three different guys sexually assaulting her – when she was just 15 years old
She said she came to ‘on the floor’ to find a boy’s head ‘between her legs.’ She fell asleep again, but awoke to find a different guy’s ‘shoulders rising and falling in an excruciating rhythm’
Knoll explained that she must have lost consciousness again, because the next thing she remembered was waking up the next morning in bed with a third boy.
‘There was a nauseating moment where I had no idea where I was and whom I was with,’ she recalled.
Luckiest Girl Alive was an instant success spent four months on the New York Times Best Seller list, and as of 2019, the Cut reported that it had sold 450,000 copies
‘He laughed about how hungover he was, how crazy the party had been, how the reason I couldn’t find my underwear was because it was downstairs.’
The guy told her she had cut her hand on a broken bottle the night before and that she was ‘stumbling around in front of everyone wearing nothing from the waist down,’ while calling her ‘a party animal.’
‘I laughed, because laughing was easier than tending to my heart, which felt like a hot coal in my chest, on fire with shame,’ she wrote.
Knoll said she went to a clinic to get Plan B afterwards, and recalled ‘aching for guidance and protection.’
The writer said she described what happened to her to a doctor and asked if it would be considered rape, but was told that the medical professional ‘wasn’t qualified to answer that question.’
Knoll said her classmates called her a ‘slut’ in the aftermath of the incident, and that after she confronted one of the boys about what happened, she became terrified that they were going to ‘come after her’ – so she ultimately called him to say she was sorry.
The writer said she kept it a secret years, but decided to share her story with the world in an attempt to finally heal, and to help other victims to feel less alone
Before becoming a highly acclaimed author, Knoll worked as an editor at Cosmopolitan magazine. She wed a man named Gregory Cortese in 2013, and together
She went on to release a second novel, called The Favorite Sister, in 2018, and the TV rights for the book were snagged by the producer of hit series Big Little Lies
‘I apologized to my rapist for calling him a rapist. What a thing to live with,’ she added.
‘From then on, I submitted to my assigned narrative. What was the point in raising my voice when all it got me was my own lonely echo?
‘Like Ani, the only way I knew to survive was to laugh loudly at my rapists’ jokes, speak softly to the mean girls, and focus on chiseling my tunnel out of there.’
After graduating high school, Knoll said she became ‘obsessed with reinventing herself.’
‘Not because I didn’t want anyone from my past to find me, just the opposite, in fact,’ she explained.
‘I was sure that with the right wardrobe, a glamorous job, and a ring on my finger before the age of 28, I could transcend my reputation.
‘That if everyone from my past could see me so put together, so accomplished in New York City, so settled down, my voice would finally be worth hearing.’
Before becoming a highly acclaimed author, Knoll worked as an editor at Cosmopolitan magazine. She wed a man named Gregory Cortese in 2013, and together.
The author admitted at the time that she was hesitant to speak out because she was ‘scared’ that people might not ‘call what happened to her rape’ – since ‘for a long time, no one did.’
She wrote the screenplay for the upcoming Netflix adaptation of Luckiest Girl Alive, which is set to star Mila Kunis (seen), and she also served as the executive producer for the flick
It premieres on September 30, and also stars Connie Britton, Jennifer Beals, Justine Lupe, Scoot McNairy, and Finn Wittrock. Knoll is pictured above with the cast
This is just the beginning for Knoll, who is currently working on her third book. ‘In my mind, I’m not rich enough,’ she told the Cut. ‘To me, rich enough is not a number. It’s a lifestyle’
But she added: ‘There’s no reason to cover my head. There’s no reason I shouldn’t say what I know.’ She also said she was still ‘very, very angry’ about what happened.
‘My anger is odorless, colorless, and tasteless. It’s completely toxic,’ she wrote. ‘My anger is carbon monoxide, binding to pain, humiliation, and hurt, rendering them powerless.’
She added that she was sharing her story with the world in an attempt to finally heal, and to help other victims to feel less alone.
Knoll went on to release a second novel, called The Favorite Sister, in 2018, and the TV rights for the book were snagged by the producer of hit series Big Little Lies.
As of 2019, the Cut reported that Luckiest Girl Alive had sold 450,000 copies. And she told the outlet at the time that she had received a ‘high six figures’ profit from publishing company Simon & Schuster for the book.
She added that ‘royalties’ have made her even more money, explaining, ‘You get those checks twice a year. Every time my agency tells me the amount that’s going into my checking account, the woman is like, “You go, girl.”‘
Knoll wrote the screenplay for the upcoming Netflix adaptation of Luckiest Girl Alive, and is serving as the executive producer for the flick.
It premieres on September 30, and also stars Connie Britton, Jennifer Beals, Justine Lupe, Scoot McNairy, and Finn Wittrock.
And this is just the beginning for Knoll, who is currently working on her third book.
‘In my mind, I’m not rich enough,’ she told the Cut. ‘To me, rich enough is not a number. It’s a lifestyle.
‘Bi-coastal living is the big goal for me. Of course, if I ever get there, the bar will keep rising. I’ll find another thing to aspire to. That’s just how my mind works.’