Key events
5th over: South Africa 3-0 (Elgar 0, Erwee 3) Anderson beats Erwee’s outside edge again – he’s not settled yet…
4th over: South Africa 3-0 (Elgar 0, Erwee 3) With the first two balls of the over, Robinson finds some late away-swing having incited Erwee to drive; both times, he misses. Then a single twizzled off the tootsies to backward square earns him another single, the only run off the over, and Robinson goes at Elgar from around – to no avail.
3rd over: South Africa 2-0 (Elgar 0, Erwee 2) I’m still thinking about Tom van der Gucht’s concept cricket action movie; imagine how many suspects there’d be! Capel, Ealham, Austin, Ramps, Hick, McCague, Ilott, Bicknell, Irani, Hemmings, Crawley, Gallian, Morris, Pringle, Rhodes, Salisbury, Larkins, Watkin, Mallender, Maynard, Barnett, Reeve and so on. Anyhow, this is a much better over from Anderson; his first ball kisses Erwee on the box, then a single to square leg allows the batter to recuperate down the other end. Staying around to Elgar, he then denies him width and is finding his rhythm.
2nd over: South Africa 1-0 (Elgar 0, Erwee 1) It’s Robinson from the other end, which I think makes more sense than Broad. The pitch didn’t do loads in that first over, but have a look! Robinson’s second ball is full, bounces and jags away, far too good for Erwee’s outside edge. So he survives and gets the scoreboard going with a back-footed press to cover for one, then Robinson forces Elgar into an inadvertent edge onto the pad. That was a pretty decent over, especially from someone who’s not played a Test in a while.
1st over: South Africa 0-0 (Elgar 0, Erwee 0) Anderson begins from around and sends his loosener flying down the leg side, handing Ben Foakes an early stretch; his second ball is on the money and his fourth is excellent nipping in but passing over the rainbow stumps – what a lovely initiative that is. Cricket, and everything, are for everyone. Maiden.
“‘Though Duckett is in form now, perhaps they don’t think him a viable Test batter over the stretch,’ says Graham O’Reilly, quoting me back to myself. “And Zak is ? Wow!”
Well, the selectors seem to think so. I’m not saying they’re right, just trying to suggest why they might be doing what they’re doing.
Jimmy Anderson will open the bowling from the James Anderson End. Are they related?
“I disagree with Sanga that swapping Harmer for Jansen lengthens the tail,” emails Martin Brook. “They both average around 20 in tests and Harmer’s fc average is 0.43 higher than Jansen’s.”
I was just looking at that – Harmer has two first-class tons and made 50 and 38* for Essex against Surrey just a month ago.
Anthem time. I do like the South Africa one.
“Can you think of any test cricketer in history whose surname is a palindrome,” says Richard Davies, “apart from South Africa’s Aiden Markram? Got to go, nurse says it’s time for my medication.”
That is a very good question. The internet tells me he took the record from Rangy Nanan, who played one Test for West Indies in 1980.
“It’s cold and blustery here in Cape Town, so real Manchester weather,” says Trevor Tutu. “I suppose if anyone knows Old Trafford it would be Mike Atherton, but I can’t help feeling that England wouldn’t really like facing the South African attack if the ball is doing anything this morning. I like that we are playing two spinners though, and that probably explains why we are batting first.”
Yup, either way makes sense for South Africa. I guess the way Elgar sees it, England also won’t fancy facing his attack with 450 on the board; there’s no bowler as deadly as SB Pressure.
“No batsmen demanding inclusion?” asks an incredulous Kevin Wilson. “Didn’t Ben Duckett smack a big hundred against a Test-quality South African attack a couple of weeks ago? He can easily slot into any of the top three positions.”
I can’t second-guess the selectors, but aside from wanting to give the incumbents every chance, they’ve also got to distinguish between form and class. So though Duckett is in form now, perhaps they don’t think him a viable Test batter over the stretch.
Teams!
England: 1 Alex Lees, 2 Zak Crawley, 3 Ollie Pope, 4 Joe Root, 5 Jonny Bairstow, 6 Ben Stokes (capt), 7 Ben Foakes (wk), 8 Ollie Robinson, 9 Stuart Broad, 10 Jack Leach, 11 James Anderson.
South Africa: 1 Dean Elgar (capt), 2 Sarel Erwee, 3 Keegan Petersen, 4 Aiden Markram, 5 Rassie van der Dussen, 6 Kyle Verreynne (wk), 7 Keshav Maharaj, 8 Simon Harmer, 9 Kagiso Rabada, 10 Anrich Nortje, 11 Lungi Ngidi.
“I watched Speed last night,” brags Tom van der Gucht, “and was lamenting how we don’t get high-brow action films with a clear selling point like that anymore. Die Hard, Point Break, Executive Decision etc … I think the beauty of these films was the basic pitch so I got thinking about cricket (no pun intended) and came up with my action cricket film:
It’s 2023 … the Lords Coronation test … King Charles and newly elected (following a snap Truss election) PM Keir Starmer are in attendance. England are in trouble, just before lunch they’re 4 down for 15 runs within the first hour. Stokes (played by Tom Hardy) walks through the Long room and is handed a note by a steward as he enters through the gate: it reads… “Bombs are planted around the ground … The Duke balls have a mile-o-meter installed … each one has to travel a minimum of 10KM every hour … if not … kaboom. No-one else knows, and if they find out … KABOOM! If you make it to 80 overs, you’ll have saved everyone…” With beads of sweat dripping, he smashes his first 3 balls for 6 and continues going ballistic until … Lunch!
The film continues with dramatic moments including a flurry of wickets followed by Leach stonewalling; the opposing team questioning the state of the ball and Stokes sweating as it is passed through the shape hoop as he looks on powerless … An onset of cramp … slow over rates … etc.
It’s writing itself!
Turns out the bomber is a disgruntled ex-player shafted during the 90’s by the revolving door selection policy. Perhaps played by John Simms. Perhaps, Stokes communicates what’s happening to Andy Zaltzman in Morse Code through dot balls and singles over a quite two over period who alerts the authorities.”
Mark Lathwell, movie star – I love it!
“I’m glad Robinson’s been picked,” emails Jonathan Robinson, “he offers something different. However, I’m not sure I get the height/bouncy OT pitch analysis. I can see the SA batsmen leaving him on height all day long, until they force him to pitch it up, so they can drive. Obviously, when he now gets 7-57, you can thank me.”
I’m no expert, but I think the rationale is that his natural length hits top of off on this track, and I doubt he or England will mind if the South Africa batters try and drive him.
Sanga notes that by replacing Jansen with Harmer, Elgar has lengthened South Africa’s tail, so their middle order will need to bat well to set up something at which their spinners can bowl.
“Maybe I’m looking at it too simplistically,” returns Matt Dony, “but I don’t see it as playing the same way in all conditions and situations, more about approaching each game with the same mindset, and removing a fear of failure. More philosophical than physical. But then, yes, there needs to be a certain amount of ability to adjust during the game. The question is, how do you find that balance, while instilling a new approach and mindset? Completely cede the point about opener selection, though. Picking someone who you accept will be streaky at best does rather undermine the ‘go at it and be exciting’ message.”
If that was the case, I’d agree. But after Lord’s, McCullum said that his team weren’t attacking enough in their first innings, when to my untrained eye it looked like batting time and putting the bowlers into their third and fourth spells made more sense than trying to thrash them off their lengths.
England were going to field, says Ben Stokes, because of “these fantastic bowling conditions”; I daresay they fancy a chase too. He’s really happy for Ollie Robinson, who’s worked really hard to get back and whose bounce he thinks will work well on this track. He defends Zak Crawley again, obviously, and reckons a hiccup of the sort his team endured at Lord’s is fair enough.
South Africa win the toss and bat!
Dean Elgar says it looks quite dry, and when you pick two spinners you have to back yourself; Simon Harmer replaces Marco Jansen, not because of anything Jansen has done but because he’s a horse for a course. Though today looks a bowling day, he says every day is a bowling day in Manchester.
“Good morning Daniel and everyone,” says Dean Kinsella. “Amidst all the changes being rung in cricket, on and off the pitch, at least one thing doesn’t change: England, after their batting was decimated in the Lords test, only drop a bowler. Go figure.”
Yes, this does tend to happen a bit – but not without reason, I don’t think. I guess there aren’t that many batters demanding inclusion – Harry Brook maybe – and the biggest difference between the sides was the attack, I think. The problem England have is that it’s still one RFM for another because the quicks are all injured – though perhaps Robinson’s height will extract more from the pitch.
Email! “You’re exactly right,” begins Matt Dony, in an incredible turn-up for the books. “Those early wins are totally unsustainable. But they were thrilling and exhilarating and amazing. And is that a price worth paying? Last week was painful, but mercifully brief. Yo-yo-ing hilariously between the agony and the ecstasy seems like fun. It might not be classic Test cricket, but there’s a lot to be said for confusing excitement.”
I don’t think it’s one or t’other – it depends on circumstances. So going for an unlikely target and risking the draw to get a win, fine. But picking an opener, then telling him he’s not expected to be consistent, and that a decent knock every now and again is fine? Playing the same way in all conditions, every match situation and regardless of the opposition? I don’t totally get that, nor the inference that Test cricket should be 100mph all the time.
It’s overcast in Manchester, but no one has ever inserted the opposition and won a Test at OT; furthermore, Athers is adamant that whatever you think about the weather, regardless of whether these will be the most swing-bowling friendly conditions of the match, you bat. And yet, I bet South Africa will be tempted to insert England, just as England will be tempted to make sure they bat last.
Preamble
At teatime on day two of the Lord’s Test, I got chatting to a friend of a friend about why England were in so poor a position. “We’ve got a saying in Pakistan,” he said, so I excitedly prepared myself for an aphorism of beautifully lyrical evocation, for use in nonsense such as this. “Pace is pace,” he said.
And he was right. Sometimes there’s no need for anything metaphorical, because the tautological is metaphorical enough: pace is pace. It’s probably fair to note that South Africa won a good toss, but it’d be foolish to think that was the key difference between the sides. Rather, it was four bowlers of quality coming from varying angles and heights, all of them delivering the ball at greater speed than England’s – after two days’ play, the tourists had delivered 89 balls at 140km/h and above; England had delivered one, in 32 more overs.
Then, on day three, I was en route to haitch cue – steady yourselves, this is another gripping yarn – and a mate mentioned that he might have to leave early to satisfy domestic demands, so I helpfully reassured him that the match would be over long before the close. This is not because I am a seer; rather, this is what England do: all the Bazball in the world can’t alter the fact that their batting is light, and the style of those early summer wins, though amazing, is unsustainable.
In such context, the last thing England need now is a visit to Old Trafford and the country’s most testing Test wicket. We can’t be certain how it’ll play, but generally speaking, it rewards quicks with a bit of extra zip and spinners with a bit of extra rip – or, put another way, the South Africa attack. Of course, it’s not as simple as that, partly because it rarely is and partly because Branderson, now loose, know how to bowl in Manchester and know how to rebound from a tousing. This is going to be great.
Play: 11am BST