Matt Damon and Gwyneth Paltrow Drink Piss In The Latest ‘South Park’ Special

Do you remember about a year ago when Matt Damon starred in a series of commercials for cryptocurrency and repeatedly said the nonsense phrase “Fortune favors the brave”? South Park sure does. In its latest Paramount+ special, South Park The Streaming Wars Part 2, Matt Stone and Trey Parker took their celebrity mockery to a new level by asking an obscenely gross question: If celebrities will thoughtlessly endorse something as volatile as crypto, why wouldn’t they endorse pee?

To make sense of one of the grossest stunts South Park has pulled in years, we need to step back a second. Both parts of The Streaming Wars focused on the drought in Colorado. At the end of Part 1, it was revealed that waterpark owner Pi-Pi was working with ManBearPig (aka climate change) to eliminate all of Colorado’s freshwater streams. He hoped that without any other option, Denver would have to make a deal with him and replace its water supply with urine. Yes, that is revolting. And to sell his vile plan to the citizens of Colorado, Pi-Pi recruited every celebrity who endorsed cryptocurrency before its meltdown in 2022.

South Park started with this embarrassing gang’s leader: Matt Damon. In a commercial that mimics the vibes of Damon’s “Fortune favors the brave” ad spot for Cypto.com, this animated Damon shows off all the ways pee can be used in place of water. He waters his lawn, takes a shower, cooks pasta, and even treats himself to a yellow popsicle. Every time his face comes close to the substance, he has to resist the urge to puke. And yet Matt Damon trudges on, committed to endorsing this terrible idea and getting his paycheck, consequences be damned.

Gwyneth Paltrow in South Park The Streaming Wars Part 2
Photo: Paramount+

Things only get grosser from there. Gwyneth Paltrow drinks urine out of a teacup after an offscreen man pees in it. Larry David takes it a step further, using the stream of pee like his own personal water fountain. Tennis pro Naomi Osaka has to eat a salad covered in urine. But the worst scene is reserved for Reese Witherspoon. After talking about how much she trusts crypto, she dunks her head in an inflatable pool of piss as she bobs for apples. Right before every one of these horrifying scenes, the celebrity at their center chants “Fortune favors the brave” as if it’s the only mantra that can help them overcome this nightmare.

Of course, this being South Park, it all ends with these celebrities sitting in a wave pool filled with pee. Tonelessly, they say in unison, “We all love being in pee. Are ur-ine?” By the end of the scene, Pi-Pi asks Reese Witherspoon to cry pee. When she says she can’t, he says, “You slut yourself out for crypto. Now just be a slut for pee pee.” By the end of it, all of the celebrities are crying.

Every celebrity who appears in this episode has endorsed crypto in the past couple of years. Matt Damon is the best known spokesperson, but there’s also Larry David’s FTX’s Super Bowl commercial, Gwyneth Paltrow and Reese Witherspoon’s push to get more women involved in investing, and Naomi Osaka, who became an ambassador for the crypto exchange FTX. The problem with these celebrity-endorsed crypto pushes is that they all fail to explain just how risky and volatile cryptocurrency can be. This billion-dollar industry that seemed to come out of nowhere has recently been losing billions.

Perhaps what’s most surprising about all of this is how much South Park cares about these endorsements. Celebrities endorse faulty products and questionable things all the time. That latter part is essentially Goop’s entire reputation. But the crypto push has really rubbed Stone and Parker the wrong way. South Park Season 25 made multiple references to these ads, so much so that it became a recurring joke that anytime someone did something brave they needed to worry about Matt Damon stealing their money. That season even had multiple jokes about how Season 25 was making too many Matt Damon jokes. That The Streaming Wars Part 2 is still making them shows just how much these commercials annoyed Stone and Parker.

source: nypost.com