Young people who were raised in strict religious households open up about trauma abuse they suffered

Many young people who were raised in strict religious households have now opened up about the trauma and abuse they suffered throughout their childhoods as part of a new viral TikTok trend.

Up-and-coming Australian artist Peach PRC, 24, (whose real name is Shaylee Curnow) recently released a song called God Is A Freak, where she sang about her negative relationship with God – and it has inspired others to speak out about their ‘damaging’ and ‘poisoned’ upbringings due to being raised in religious households.  

While listening to the song, numerous TikTokers decided to share their personal stories of ‘shame’ or ‘guilt’ that they felt as a result of being told from a young age that they had to stay ‘pure’ until marriage or that their sexuality was wrong due to their families’ religious beliefs.

One person claimed that they were taught that if you lose your virginity before getting married, you are ‘damaged goods,’ while another said she had to spend hours ‘reading anti-LGBTQ+ passages in the bible’ and listening to her parents, and several pastors, explain why her ‘choice was sinful’ after they found out she was a lesbian.

A third claimed that he was forced to keep his sexual abuse a secret because he thought he would be considered ‘impure.’

Many young people who were raised in strict religious households are opening up about the trauma and abuse they suffered throughout their childhoods

They are speaking out as part of a new viral TikTok trend

Many young people who were raised in strict religious households are opening up about the trauma and abuse they suffered throughout their childhoods as part of a new viral TikTok trend

Artist Peach PRC released a song called God Is A Freak, where she sang about her negative relationship with God, and it inspired others to speak out about their 'damaging' childhoods

Artist Peach PRC released a song called God Is A Freak, where she sang about her negative relationship with God, and it inspired others to speak out about their ‘damaging’ childhoods

While listening to the song, numerous TikTokers shared their stories of 'shame' or 'guilt' that they felt as a result of being told from a young age that they had to stay 'pure' until marriage

Others spoke out about being 'abused' or 'groomed' as a child, while some claimed they weren't accepted by their loved ones because of their sexuality

While listening to the song, numerous TikTokers shared their stories of ‘shame’ or ‘guilt’ that they felt as a result of being told from a young age that they had to stay ‘pure’ until marriage

A transgender man named Liam Magan (pictured) explained that he was forced to wear a purity ring from the age of 12

He said it made him keep his sexual abuse a secret because he was scared of being seen as 'impure'

A transgender man named Liam Magan (pictured) explained that he was forced to wear a purity ring from the age of 12, which in turn made him keep his sexual abuse a secret

He said he wore it for 10-years despite being sexually active - which filled him with guilt

He 'finally' took it off for good when he came out as transgender at age 22

He said he wore the ring for 10-years before he ‘finally’ took it off for good, after he came out as transgender at age 22

Now, he is happily married but said he will 'always think of the kid who was poisoned by the evangelical church and purity culture at such a young age'

Now, he is happily married but said he will ‘always think of the kid who was poisoned by the evangelical church and purity culture at such a young age’

‘God is a bit of a freak / Why’s he watching me getting railed on the couch, staying pure for a wedding? / He’s got f**ked up priorities,’ the lyrics to Peach PRC’s song, which dropped on February 3, read.

‘God is a bit of a freak / Like what’s the fixation / On hating the way he creates? / So why would I spend my eternity / With God when he’s a freak?’

One TikToker named Liam Magan – a transgender man from New Hampshire – explained that he was forced to wear a purity ring from the age of 12.

He said he was told if he didn’t ‘save himself for marriage,’ he would be ‘chewed up like a piece of gum’ which led to ‘shame’ about his sexuality.

‘This led to shame about my sexuality and kept me from speaking up when I was being abused as a teenager for fear of being seen as “impure,”‘ he wrote on TikTok. 

‘I wore the ring for 10-years despite being sexually active. The guilt I felt as a result of purity culture caused me to only engage sexually when I was drunk enough to forget most of it.

‘I finally took it off for good when I came out as transgender at age 22. I ended up selling it for $300 to pay for testosterone.

‘Now, I wear a wedding ring, but I’ll always think of this kid who was poisoned by the evangelical church and purity culture at such a young age.’

According to TheGospelCoalition.org, ‘The evangelical movement attempts to promote a biblical view of purity by discouraging dating and promoting virginity before marriage, often through the use of tools such as purity pledges, symbols such as purity rings, and events such as purity balls.’ 

Another TikToker named Theresa Rose, 36, from Portland, Oregon, revealed that she was taught her 'virginity was the best gift she could give her future husband'

She said she was told that if she loses her virginity before marriage she would be considered 'damaged goods'

Another TikToker named Theresa Rose , 36, from Portland, Oregon, revealed that she was taught her ‘virginity was the best gift she could give her future husband’ 

Theresa said she was told marriage wasn't 'meant to make you happy' but instead, make you 'holy'

She also claimed she was 'never taught about consent'

Theresa said she was told marriage wasn’t ‘meant to make you happy’ but instead, make you ‘holy,’ and that she was ‘never taught about consent.’ She is pictured at her wedding

She has since left her husband and is now happily dating a woman named Jacqui Mettle (pictured together)

She has since left her husband and is now happily dating a woman named Jacqui Mettle (pictured together)

The movement began in the 1990s and was heightened when the Southern Baptist Convention launched its True Love Waits campaign in 1993, seeking to promote sexual abstinence among Christian youth through conferences, concerts, and purity pledges.  

‘Everyone is expected to maintain absolute sexlessness before marriage (that means no sexual thoughts, feelings, or actions),’ author Linda Klein, who wrote a book about it, entitled Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement that Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free, wrote. 

‘Underlying these teachings are several assumptions, including those that gender is a binary, and that heterosexual desire is the only “right” and “normal” form of desire/sexual intercourse.

‘The white, American Evangelical Christian Purity Movement is further based in nationalistic and white supremacist assumptions.

‘As a result, purity culture influences people’s lives in complex ways resulting in highly intersectional marginalization.’

Another TikToker named Theresa Rose, 36, from Portland, Oregon, revealed that she was told her ‘virginity was the best gift she could give her future husband.’

Theresa, who previously made headlines for revealing that she realized she was a lesbian after arranging a threesome for her husband’s birthday, said she was never taught about ‘consent.’

‘I was told that if you lose your virginity, you are “damaged goods.” I ended up marrying my first boyfriend at age 22. He was 12 years older than me,’ she said.

‘I was taught that marriage isn’t meant to make you happy, but holy. I was never taught about consent.

‘I thought I had to submit to my husband because God created him to be the leader of my life and our family.

‘When I let go of my belief in God and left the cult, I was finally able to accept myself.’ 

She has since left her husband and is now happily dating a woman named Jacqui Mettle. 

Stephanie Leigh (pictured as a teen) said her parents found out she was dating a girl at age 14 after they read through her private messages

Stephanie Leigh (pictured as a teen) said her parents found out she was dating a girl at age 14 after they read through her private messages

She said she had to spend hours 'reading anti-LGBTQ+ passages in the bible' and listening to her parents, and several pastors, explain why her 'choice was sinful'

She recalled being told that she would be kicked out of her house if she didn't 'change to be how God intended'

 She said she had to spend hours ‘reading anti-LGBTQ+ passages in the bible’ and listening to her parents, and several pastors, explain why her ‘choice was sinful’

Stephanie said she 'tried so hard' to 'be straight,' which led to her 'hating herself'

However, she later realized it her family was 'wrong,' adding, 'I am exactly the way I was created to be'

Stephanie said she ‘tried so hard’ to ‘be straight,’ which led to her ‘hating herself.’ However, she later realized it her family was ‘wrong,’ adding, ‘I am exactly the way I was created to be’

Now, she said she 'constantly' works to balance both her 'queer and Christian identities,' while helping other LGBTQ+ people of faith 'understand they were made this way for a reason'

'Every day I think about that little girl who cried because she believed her heart was broken' she added

Now, she said she ‘constantly’ works to balance both her ‘queer and Christian identities,’ while helping other LGBTQ+ people of faith ‘understand they were made this way for a reason’ 

A fourth TikToker, named Stephanie Gady, from Washington, recalled being told that she would be kicked out of her house if she didn’t ‘change to be how God intended’ after her parents found out she was dating a girl at age 14. 

‘When I was 14, my parents found out I was dating a girl after reading through my Facebook messages without my consent,’ she revealed.

‘They took away my phone so I couldn’t contact her, and told me I would be sent to a Christian school to learn the difference of right from wrong.

‘My mom cried and told me they would have to kick me out when I turned 18 if I couldn’t change to be how God intended.’

Stephanie said she ‘tried so hard’ to ‘be straight,’ which led to her presenting ‘hyper-feminine’ characteristics and dating boys – and eventually ‘hating herself.’

She recalled: ‘I spent hours listening to my parents and several pastors explain that my “choice” was sinful and reading anti-LGBTQ+ passages in the bible.

‘But as I grew in my faith and spent time thinking on my own, I realized it was my family who was wrong, not me.

‘God doesn’t make mistakes: I am exactly the way I was created to be. I was baptized in 2017, alongside one of my best friends who is also LGBTQ+.’

Now, she said she ‘constantly’ works to balance both her ‘queer and Christian identities,’ while helping other LGBTQ+ people of faith ‘understand they were made this way for a reason.’ 

‘Every day I think about that little girl who cried because she believed her heart was broken,’ she concluded.

‘The way you love is never a sin, never believe anyone who tells you differently.’ 

BBC reported that most Christian churches hold the position that you should ‘Love the sinner, but hate the sin.’

‘This is generally interpreted to mean that Christians should show love and compassion to homosexuals, but that homosexuals should not engage in sexual activity,’ the outlet reported.

‘This is because most churches teach that sex should only happen within marriage, which the Church defines as being between a man and a woman.’ 

One user, named Noah (pictured), 33, said he was 'fed purity and courtship culture' well before he was 'old enough to grasp what that really meant'

In turn, he said it 'severed his ability to trust his body' and 'all the amazing things it can tell him'

One user, named Noah (pictured), 33, said he was ‘fed purity and courtship culture’ well before he was ‘old enough to grasp what that really meant’ which ‘severed his ability to trust his body’

He added that although he briefly left Christianity, he now works as a priest and tries to 'undo a little of the inexcusable damage people have done in the name of "purity"'

He added that although he briefly left Christianity, he now works as a priest and tries to ‘undo a little of the inexcusable damage people have done in the name of “purity”‘ 

Another person, named Delia, from Rhode Island - who uses they/them pronouns - also spoke out about their strict religious upbringing

They said they were taught that being gay was a 'sin' and didn't know trans people existed until high school

Another person, named Delia, from Rhode Island – who uses they/them pronouns – also spoke out about their strict religious upbringing 

They eventually left the church because she 'knew it wasn't safe there'

They came out as transgender years later

They eventually left the church because she ‘knew it wasn’t safe there’ and came out as transgender years later 

'Today, I'm out, proud, and happy. And I know God loves me, no matter what I was taught as a kid,' they wrote

‘Today, I’m out, proud, and happy. And I know God loves me, no matter what I was taught as a kid,’ they wrote

One user, named Noah Stansbury, 33, from South Carolina, said he was ‘fed purity and courtship culture’ well before he was ‘old enough to grasp what that really meant.’

‘No dating, no privacy, no youth group, nothing that would give us even a clue of what it meant to have a sexuality,’ he explained. 

‘More than damaging my approach to love and sexuality, it severed my ability to trust my body and all the amazing things it can tell me. I’m almost 34 and I’m still working on it.’

He added that although he briefly left Christianity, he now works as a priest in the Episcopal Church and tries to ‘undo a little of the inexcusable damage people have done in the name of “purity.”‘

‘God doesn’t expect you to be pure in order to love you. God loves when you use your body to appreciate the beauty you find in other people – sexually or otherwise,’ he continued.

‘I pray that you find the healing you need. You are so important and beautiful just as you are.’ 

Another person, named Delia Sosa, from Rhode Island – who uses they/them pronouns – also spoke out about their strict religious upbringing. 

‘I grew up in Catholic school and was taught that being gay was a sin. I didn’t know trans people existed until high school,’ they explained.

‘I was outed as queer to my classmates when I was 14. Two years later, I left the church because I knew I wasn’t safe there.

‘At 19, I began to figure out I’m trans. I started to get transphobic messages from people still in the church.

‘Today, I’m out, proud, and happy. And I know God loves me, no matter what I was taught as a kid.’ 

One TikTok user, named Shirelle (pictured), said she raised in a 'cult' and taught her 'only value as a woman came from being a virgin wife, serving her husband, and having lots of children'

She said she was 'miserable' despite being told that 'true joy and happiness' would come from being obedient

One TikTok user, named Shirelle (pictured), said she raised in a ‘cult’ and taught her ‘only value as a woman came from being a virgin wife, serving her husband, and having lots of children’ 

She said she got married at age 19 and had three babies in four years

She said she got married at age 19 and had three babies in four years

However, after realizing she was 'raised in a cult,' she left the church

However, after realizing she was ‘raised in a cult,’ she left the church

Despite same-sex marriage becoming legalized in many states, many of the largest U.S. religious institutions have remained against it, including the Roman Catholic Church.

The Roman Catholic Church cannot bless same-sex marriages, no matter how stable or positive the couples’ relationships are, the Vatican said in March 2021, according to NPR. 

The outlet wrote that the church believes that ‘marriage should be limited to a union between a man and a woman’ and that ‘same-sex marriages are not part of God’s plan for families and raising children.’

‘The presence in such relationships of positive elements, which are in themselves to be valued and appreciated, cannot justify these relationships and render them legitimate objects of an ecclesial blessing,’ a statement from the church said. 

One TikTok user, a former Mormon named Shirelle Benard, from Utah, said she raised in a ‘cult’ and was taught her ‘only value as a woman came from being a virgin wife, serving her husband, and having lots of children.’

‘So I got married at age 19 in the temple, had three babies in four years, and was a stay-at-home mom,’ she said in her TikTok video, while playing Peach PRC’s song in the background.

‘I was told true joy and happiness would come from being obedient to the prophet, but I was miserable.

‘After being as obedient as I possibly could be to the teachings of the Mormon church… I left in October 2020. I quickly and painfully realized that I was raised in a cult.’

According to MormonStories.org, ‘Numerous Prophets have instructed that a Mormon woman’s place is in the home.’ 

‘Mormon women were to reject the secular values of individuality and devote themselves to the eternal women’s roles of marriage, motherhood, and submissiveness,’ author Neil Young also explained in his book, The ERA Is a Moral Issue. 

A different women, named Savannah Glembin (pictured), explained why she thinks many people have left the church

She said she watched her pastor 'weaponize fear of the afterlife to assert control'

A different women, named Savannah Glembin (pictured), said she watched her pastor ‘weaponize fear of the afterlife to assert control’ 

A user named Katie J (pictured), from London, England, also spoke out about the long-term effects a religious upbringing can have on a person

A user named Katie J (pictured), from London, England, also spoke out about the long-term effects a religious upbringing can have on a person

'Many fight to overcome the toll those ideologies have taken on their minds and bodies, regarding [sex] and building relationships,' she explained

She added: 'And many LGBTQ+ people struggle with internalized homophobia or transphobia'

‘Many fight to overcome the toll those ideologies have taken on their minds and bodies, regarding [sex] and building relationships,’ she explained 

A different women, named Savannah Glembin, from California, said she watched her pastor ‘weaponize fear of the afterlife to assert control.’

She shared: ‘Boomers can’t seem to understand why thousands of millennials and gen-z have left the church in droves.

‘You see, we were raised reading a bible that preached love but witnessed some of the most “Christian” people preach and justify hate towards minority groups.

‘We watched our pastors weaponize fear of the afterlife to assert control over massive populations of people.

‘A lot of us decided that the God being worshipped in church is just a reflection of power hungry men, not the true God.

‘We decided that we don’t need the “church” to have a relationship with a higher power.’

A user named Katie Jgln, from London, England, also spoke out about the long-term effects a religious upbringing can have on a person.

‘Formerly religious people diagnosed with RTS (religious trauma syndrome) can have symptoms similar to PTSD – including cognitive, affective, functional, social, and cultural issues and developmental delays,’ she claimed.

‘Many of them suffer from the constraints of purity culture or a deep-seated fear of Hell, despite no longer believing in either.

‘Many fight to overcome the toll those ideologies have taken on their minds and bodies, regarding [sex] and building relationships.

‘And many LGBTQ+ people struggle with internalized homophobia or transphobia. We need to stop passing down bad ideas to our children just because they are part of a religious tradition.

‘Bad ideas are bad ideas, and religions that preach them shouldn’t be exempt from criticism.’ 

Others didn't share many details on what they went through, but instead, they spoke out about how much the song has helped them and how much they could relate to it

One person said the song helped her more in one hour than a decade of therapy did

Others didn’t share many details on what they went through, but instead, they spoke out about how much the song has helped them and how much they could relate to it

A TikToker named Sid Dorey shared a video of them and a friend rocking out to the song. 'When a former preacher's kid and former choir director's kid listen to this song,' they captioned it

A TikToker named Sid Dorey shared a video of them and a friend rocking out to the song. ‘When a former preacher’s kid and former choir director’s kid listen to this song,’ they captioned it

‘This song hits different when you were raised non-religious but decided to “fit in” and join the local youth group to make friends only to be groomed by your adult youth pastor,’ wrote another TikToker named Mothica.

Someone else, who goes by @titan_of_joy online, posted a clip of herself singing along to the song, while adding, ‘Even though I left the church over 15 years ago, I have to constantly renounce the guilty and shame that it left.

‘I know I’m not alone in embracing the freedom but also living with the trauma and scars it left on me.

‘So if anyone needs to hear this, you are not dirty, you are not sinful, you are a beautiful miracle on the face of our world. And don’t let anyone in Heaven or on Earth tell you you’re not.’ 

Others didn’t share many details on what they went through, but instead, they spoke out about how much the song has helped them and how much they could relate to it. 

A TikTok user named Emily Stern wrote, ‘When I tell you this song has helped me with queer religious trauma in an hour of listening more than a decade of therapy,’ alongside a clip of her singing and dancing along to the tune.

One person named Sid Dorey – who uses they/them pronouns – shared a video of that showed them and a friend rocking out to the song.

‘When a former preacher’s kid and former choir director’s kid listen to this song,’ they wrote.  

‘This song was MADE for all the religiously traumatize pastors’ kids,’ gushed another person, named Aaron – who also uses they/them pronouns – as they passionately lip-synced the lyrics while the song blasted in the background.

source: dailymail.co.uk