No way, Kanye!
Contrary to the “Eazy” rapper’s cringey assertion that the whole Page Six office “would die to go on a date” with him amid his unhinged rants against ex Kim Kardashian, 41, her new beau Pete Davidson, 28, and Ye’s former buddy Kid Cudi, 38 — the department is instead alive with the sound of “Nah, we’re good” booming from the depths of each staffer’s soul.
West, 44, who on Monday officially ended his two-month fling with actress Julia Fox, 32, fired social media slings at Page Six over the weekend, demanding the publication “stop using bad photos” of him in a since-deleted Instagram caption.
And the freshly single singer concluded his tirade by suggesting that the outlet’s writers were all desperate for a night on the town with him.
But, likely to no one’s surprise, the “Monster” emcee is sadly mistaken.
In fact, here are a few reasons why the ladies of the New York Post would eagerly swipe left on a date with Mr. West.
Kim-fatuation
It doesn’t take a “Jeen-yuhs” to ascertain that West is still hopelessly in love with Kardashian, despite the Skims creator’s public indifference to his repeated and shameless attempts to woo her back since she filed for divorce last February. The “Runaway” rapper even sent his ex a pickup truck full of red roses for Valentine’s Day Monday. And while a slew of well-meaning women might be willing to go on a date with a married and emotionally unavailable man, we are not.
Give it up, for ‘Pete’s’ sake
Although Kardashian may forever hold the keys to West’s heart, he can’t seem to get enough of Davidson. And while dangling on the “Praise God” rhymer’s arm at an exclusive soirée in the hottest of haute couture does sound tempting, imagine how disenchanted the night will become the moment West logs onto Twitter and begins blasting the “SNL” comedian for romancing Kardashian. Sorry Ye, but twiddling our thumbs and making small talk with your security guards while you angry-tweet at “Skete” — his shady nickname for Davidson — sounds like the opposite of a good time.
We’re with Snoop
West’s designation as a fashion trendsetter notwithstanding, he’s definitely suffered a few style missteps. And, just like his pal Snoop Dogg, The Post crew is not turned on by the “motherf- -king big ass space boots” the “Donda” lyricist has been sporting nonstop. Snoop, 50, playfully slammed West’s clunky $2,500 kicks during a pre-Super Bowl interview with DJ Whoo Kid. And, speaking of the Super Bowl, West took a digital beating for the ill-received ski mask he wore to the big game Sunday. Kanye, if we wanted to date Jason Voorhees, we’d go for the real deal.
Say what, Ye?
We all have a limited amount of time on this Earth. And no one here is willing to waste an entire evening feigning interest in West’s wannabe deep, perpetually unbridled ramblings. While he may make a coherent point every once in a blue moon, the energy that it would take to listen to a Kanye-versation, which he’d likely start with something like “Ketchup is not red; it’s the color of horn smoke,” is not worth exerting.
What about your friends?
Rubbing elbows with Hollywood royals such as Jay-Z, Beyoncé, Kylie Jenner and Taylor Swift would be a great first date. Bad news is, West has burned bridges with each and every one of them. So, if dating him means we’d be subjected to his repeated attempts at Kim K’s heart, unprovoked broadsides against Davidson, long-winded speeches and questionable clothing choices, all without the chance of meeting Beyoncé, we’ll pass.