Britney Spears addressed her decision to break her silence in court regarding her conservatorship, explaining to fans on social media Thursday that she pretended to be happy because of her pride.
Spears, who this week offered explosive testimony about her 13-year conservatorship, offered further insight into how she has dealt with what she alleged is traumatizing abuse in recent years. She posted a quote attributed to Albert Einstein on Instagram that read “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”
Spears said she believes that people all want to live in fairy tales and that she’s tried to portray a perfect life, despite the reality.
“You obviously really know now it’s not !!!!” she wrote. “I apologize for pretending like I’ve been ok the past two years … I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me.”
The 39-year-old pop star, who has been under the conservatorship of her father since 2008, said pretending things were OK was one of her mother’s best traits. Spears said when she and her siblings were younger, her mother used to hide her bad days for her children’s sake.
“Believe it or not pretending that I’m ok has actually helped … so I decided to post this quote today because by golly if you’re going through hell … I feel like Instagram has helped me have a cool outlet to share my presence … existence … and to simply feel like I matter despite what I was going through and hey it worked,” Spears wrote.
Spears broke her silence Wednesday to Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Brenda Penny, alleging that her conservatorship has traumatized her through repeated medical evaluations, forced performances, heavy medication and an inability to make her own choices.
She alleged that her former therapist, who died in 2019, pushed her to take lithium days after she told her management she wouldn’t perform a new Las Vegas residency and wanted a break. She also alleged that she wanted to have her intrauterine device removed so she could have another baby but her conservators would not allow it.
“I’ve lied and told the whole world I’m OK, I’m happy. … I’ve been in shock. I am traumatized,” she told the court. “You know, fake it till you make it. But now I’m telling you the truth. OK, I’m not happy. I can’t sleep.”
The testimony provided the first public comments about the conservatorship Spears has made amid scrutiny heightened in the wake of documentaries released this year. She told Penny that she was never made aware that she could petition to end the conservatorship and wanted to be released without further medical evaluation.
“I haven’t done anything in the world to deserve this treatment. It’s not OK to force me to do anything I don’t want to do,” she said.
Spears also alleged that her father continually forced her to perform, took pleasure in having control and forced her into a $60,000-a-month treatment facility. She told Penny she would agree to continue to therapy, provided sessions were done privately at her home, that she’d like to agree to her medical plan and choose her own attorney.
An attorney for her father, James “Jamie” Spears, told the court that he was “sorry to see his daughter suffering and in so much pain.” His legal team declined to comment further following the testimony Wednesday.