Prince Harry has revealed the moment his wife Meghan Markle told him she was suicidal, saying she did not go through with killing herself while pregnant because of her concerns about him ‘losing another woman’.
The Duke of Sussex spoke during his Apple TV docuseries The Me You Can’t See about an occasion when Meghan told him she was suicidal, before a charity event at the Royal Albert Hall in London.
He told Oprah Winfrey that Meghan cried at the event almost two years ago, while pregnant with their son Archie, while he also accused the royal family of ‘total neglect’ and said he will not be bullied.
Harry also addressed traumatic memories from his childhood – including the death of his mother Princess Diana, the resulting mental distress and, in more recent years, harassment on social media he has faced.
He said: ‘Meghan was struggling, and people have seen the photograph of us squeezing each other’s hands as we walked into the Royal Albert Hall in London for a charity event – she was six months pregnant at the time.
‘What perhaps people don’t understand is earlier that evening, Meghan decided to share with me the suicidal thoughts and the practicalities of how she was going to end her life.’
Today, a body language expert said Meghan put on a brave face to mask her pain while Harry gave away tell-tale signs of anxiety during their appearance at the Royal Albert Hall on January 16, 2019.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex at the premiere of Cirque du Soleil’s Totem, in support of the Sentebale charity, at the Royal Albert Hall in London on January 16, 2019. Harry said: ‘While my wife and I were in those chairs, gripping each other’s hand, the moment the lights go down, Meghan starts crying’
Resurfaced footage of the couple at the concert in January 2019 featured in episode two of Harry’s new Apple TV series with Oprah Winfrey, entitled The Me You Can’t See.
The footage appeared as the Duke of Sussex, 36, opened up about what happened prior to their arrival, when his wife told him she was suicidal.
Harry and Meghan were seen sitting together as the lights went down, before the Duchess started crying. The pair had been married for less than a year and she was pregnant with their son Archie.
Speaking to FEMAIL, body language expert Judi James said Meghan was able to mask what what we now know went on behind the scenes and appeared ‘gracious and elegant’.
Meghan Markle put on a brave face to mask her pain while Prince Harry gave away tell-tale signs of anxiety by ‘sucking his lips’ (pictured) during their appearance at the Royal Albert Hall, body language expert Judi James observed
‘She reaches for Harry’s hand frequently and when she sits she reaches for it and places it in both of her hands,’ Judi observed.
‘Harry’s facial expression does appear more telling. His eyes looks wide at times and he is seen sucking his lips in once the attention is off him, suggesting he is struggling with anxiety or some sort of pain or worry.
‘Like Meghan he appears keen to look animated and sociable when he is doing his job but his demeanour does seem to change to something a lot more serious when the lights are lowered.’
When Harry speaks about his wife in the docuseries, Judi said his gestures became ‘very emphatic, clear and precise’ before he got emotional when he described how she was feeling when she shared her suicidal thoughts with him.
Judi observed how Meghan ‘reaches for Harry’s hand frequently and when she sits she reaches for it and places it in both of her hands’
‘He uses a pursed-finger hand to baton his messages and he uses that finger-pinch to draw vertical and horizontal lines in the air to be forensic with his words and memories,’ she explained.
‘He also starts to be overcome with emotion, tearing up with his voice cracking. He says that they only had time for a ‘quick cuddle’ before having to go out and get on with their royal duties.’
During the series Harry revealed that it was Meghan who pushed him to get therapy during an argument to finally address the trauma he experienced after losing his mother when he was 12.
Harry said therapy helped him ‘break the cycle’, adding: ‘For me, therapy has equipped me to be able to take on anything. I knew if I didn’t do the therapy and fix myself I would lose this woman I could see spending the rest of my life [with].’
Judi said Meghan was able to mask what what we now know went on behind the scenes and appeared ‘gracious and elegant’, with Harry’s body language more telling about the reality
Judi said Harry’s body language during this discussion suggested Meghan ‘really was the one who ‘save’ him at this low point’.
‘He begins to fiddle with his wedding ring,’ she says. ‘Harry slows and becomes calmer when he speaks about Meghan and he appears to mime her side of their conversations, throwing his hands out palms-up to repeat her suggestion that ‘I think you need to see someone’.
‘Harry uses his body language to role-play both sides in the argument they had, using the open hands and calm of Meghan versus the self-protective fist-shapes as he first thinks ‘How dare you’ about the thought he needed help.
‘His palm-swipe appears to mimic her listing of his problems before he rubs his wedding ring again.’
Meghan first revealed the trauma of the night at the Royal Albert Hall in her March interview with Oprah.
Meghan first revealed the trauma of the night at the Royal Albert Hall in her March interview with Oprah
‘The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me after everything that had happened to my mum and to now to be put in a position of losing another woman in my life — with a baby inside of her, our baby,’ Harry said in the new series.
‘The scariest thing for her was her clarity of thought. She hadn’t ‘lost it.’ She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t self-medicating, be it through pills or through alcohol. She was absolutely sober. She was completely sane. Yet in the quiet of night, these thoughts woke her up.’
Harry said that he did not know how to handle her confession. ‘I’m somewhat ashamed of the way that I dealt with them,’ he said.
‘And of course, because of the system that we were in and the responsibilities and the duties that we had, we had a quick cuddle and then we had to get changed to jump in a convoy with a police escort and drive to the Royal Albert Hall for a charity event. Then step out into a wall of cameras and pretend as though everything’s okay.
Judi says Harry uses his body language to role-play both sides in the argument he had with Meghan when she told him he needed to get therapy (pictured showing the ‘open hands and calm of Meghan’)
Harry uses self-protective fist-shapes as he first thinks ‘How dare you’ about the thought he needed help, according to Judi
‘There wasn’t an option to say, ‘you know what, tonight, we’re not going to go’ because just imagine the stories that come from that.’
He said that the night was, for him, a revelation. He realised that they could not continue the way they were.
‘While my wife and I were in those chairs, gripping each other’s hand, the moment the lights go down, Meghan starts crying. I’m feeling sorry for her, but I’m also really angry with myself that we’re stuck in this situation,’ Harry said.
‘I was ashamed that it got this bad. I was ashamed to go to my family. Because to be honest with you, like a lot of other people my age could probably relate to, I know that I’m not gonna get from my family what I need.
‘I then had a son who I’d far rather be solely focused on, rather than every time I look into his eyes, wondering whether my wife is going to end up like my mother and I’m going to have to look after him myself.’
The prince, whose new series airs on Apple TV+ from May 20, told Winfrey he feared ‘history repeating itself’ after he began dating Markle , and was reminded of his mother being pursued to her death while she was dating ‘someone who wasn’t white’.
Diana, the princess of Wales, died in 1997 alongside Egyptian film producer Dodi Al Fayed, who she had been dating for several months.
Harry said he felt there were parallels in their stories when he followed in his mother’s footsteps and began dating a person of color.
‘My mother was chased to her death while she was in a relationship with someone who wasn’t white,’ he said. ‘And now look what’s happened. It’s incredibly triggering to potentially lose another woman in my life. Like, the list is growing.
‘And it all comes back to the same people, the same business model, the same industry.’
In the candid interview, the prince discusses his failure to process the grief from the death of his mother; the helplessness he felt when he struggled to protect her; and his dependence on drugs and alcohol to numb the pain.
He spoke of his anxiety and sense of being trapped in the palace, and his family’s refusal to help when Meghan felt suicidal.
Harry says his family tried to prevent him and Meghan from leaving. He said: ‘Eventually when I made that decision for my family, I was still told, ‘You can’t do this’. And it’s like, ‘Well how bad does it have to get until I am allowed to do this?’
‘She [Markle] was going to end her life. It shouldn’t have to get to that.’
When asked if he has any regrets, he says it is not taking a stand earlier in his relationship with Markle.
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