A woman has opened up about her platonic marriage to her female best friend, saying they tied the knot because they wanted to build a life together but are not romantically involved.
Jay Guercio, 23, from Long Island, New York, has been touting the benefits of platonic love on TikTok, where she has been speaking candidly about her relationship with her wife Krystle, 28, with whom she’s raising a teenage foster son.
‘My best friend and I, of eight years, got married, had a commitment ceremony, whatever you wanted to call it, but we did this because we wanted to raise kids together,’ she explained in a now-viral video.
Who needs romance? Jay Guercio, 23, from Long Island, New York, has opened up about platonically marrying her best friend Krystle, 28, because they want to have a family together
Happy together: While they’re not romantically involved, the two women celebrated their union with engagement rings
‘We wanted to live our lives by each other’s side. I couldn’t imagine living the life I live without her by my side,’ she continued.
‘I trust her, I appreciate her, we work together, we are partners, we make decisions together, we act as a married couple does, but we don’t have the romantic or physical stuff.’
Unlike more traditional marriages, Jay said she and Krystle both have the freedom to seek out romantic or physical relationships with other people if they desire.
‘To be honest, that’s not what I want or need right now,’ she admitted. ‘The love that we have, the trust, the laughter, the fun, the shenanigans, it’s everything that I could ever ask for. I’m happy and proud of our marriage.’
Jay also believes that her ‘platonic marriage’ is more ‘stable’ than most traditional romantic relationships, which she insists always have ‘an end.’
‘Platonic marriages are the future,’ she said in another video. ‘Let me tell you why. One: I see longevity and I see that longevity because I have come to understand that romantic relationships typically have an end. Whether we want to accept that or not, it’s the truth.
Marriage: ‘We work together, we are partners, we make decisions together, we act as a married couple does, but we don’t have the romantic or physical stuff,’ Jay explained
‘The divorce rate is extremely high. I think that’s because people get into romantic relationships due to the chemical reactions, due to those physical feelings, and they don’t necessarily think about whether or not the person is going to make a stable partner.
‘When you enter into a platonic relationship, it’s usually to meet similar life goals i.e. parenting. I think Krystle and I are going to last because we work well together as a team, as co-parents.
‘[I am] never jealous or insecure with her and I feel just as fulfilled as I ever have been, if not more than when I have been in a romantic relationship.’
She then urged her followers to ‘give it a shot,’ adding: ‘You never know.’
Jay shared her original video in response to another TikTok user asking married people to share a ‘misconception’ about their relationship, and it has been viewed more than 5.1 million times.
Throwback: Jay said they met at an LGBTQ youth center, and their ‘friendship slowly but surely blossomed into being best friends’
Parents: Jay and Krystle decided to get married when their teenage foster son came into their lives
A number of commenters praised the couple for normalizing platonic marriages and broadening the definition of family.
‘I loooove how this generation is redefining families. Doing what’s best for each one of us, one person wrote,’ while another added: ‘This is the coolest thing I’ve ever heard of and I don’t understand why platonic friendship marriages aren’t a more common thing.’
‘Here’s the thing: I don’t understand this & wouldn’t do it myself. Here’s the other thing: I don’t have to & I’m so glad you’re happy,’ someone else shared.
People also had plenty of questions for the couple, leading Jay to share a number of follow-up videos, including one about how they decided to get married.
Jay said they met at an LGBTQ youth center, and their ‘friendship slowly but surely blossomed into being best friends.’
‘I was in a very toxic relationship that ended in late 2019, and over 2020 I was on the quest for my next grand love story, and throughout this quest, I realized that my next grand love story might not actually exist,’ she explained.
Love: Jay has shared photos from their wedding as well as pictures of them proudly showing off their engagement rings, proving that platonic love also deserves to be celebrated
Awkward: Their one and only kiss was at their wedding, and Jay admitted that in hindsight they should have done a cool handshake
‘Krystal and I had always joked about getting married and raising foster kids together and living our lives by each other’s side like best friends fantasize about.
‘One day a young man came into my life who needed a home and needed love and needed a family and I called her up and I was like, “I think I’m raising this kid,” and she was like, “No, we’re raising this kid,” and we got married and became a family.’
Jay has shared photos from their wedding as well as pictures of them proudly showing off their engagement rings, proving that platonic love also deserves to be celebrated.
Their one and only kiss was at their wedding, and she admitted that in hindsight they should have done a cool handshake, but they weren’t as open about their platonic marriage at the time.
However, the couple is affectionate even though they don’t have sex. In one of her videos, she said they will cuddle or hold hands, but that’s where they draw the line.
Making it work: While they aren’t physically attracted to each other, they cuddle, hold hands, and currently share a bed because it’s economical
Open: Jay noted they both have the freedom to seek out romantic or physical relationships with other people, but they’re happy with their marriage
‘When I say we’re not romantically or physically involved, what I just mean is that I don’t feel like I’m like deeply, madly head over heels in love with her,’ she explained.
‘I don’t have the desire to kiss her. I’m not physically attracted to her where I want to sleep with her — and she feels the same about me.’
Jay and Krystle do share a bedroom and a bed, but she said that’s only because it makes financial sense for them right now. They would eventually like to have separate rooms and have their own space.
A number of commenters were concerned about what would happen if one of them fell in love with someone else, but she doesn’t see it being an issue.
‘Right now we’re happy living together, having finances together, raising our foster kid together, and really building a life,’ she said.
If anything like that were to happen, Jay insisted that they would ‘talk about it’ and ‘figure it out like best friends do.’
‘The best part about her being my absolute best friend in the world is at the core we love each other and want to support each other no matter what,’ she explained.