Sheridan Smith, 39, has detailed how her life drastically changed since the birth of son Billy in May, in a number of posts on Instagram. Tonight (September 1), the star’s previously undisclosed confessions about her pregnancy will air in the ITV documentary ‘Becoming Mum’. She was forced to undergo an emergency cesarean during coronavirus lockdown, to deliver hers and fiancé Jamie Horn’s child. While Smith appears to have settled into motherhood now, she previously feared that her mental health struggles would prevent her from being a good parent.
The star has publicly detailed the difficulties she has faced in a number of interviews since her father Colin was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2016 and died later that year.
The heartbreak of bereavement coupled with the struggles of fame left her addicted to anti-anxiety medication – which at one point nearly killed her after she went cold turkey.
Smith had a number of public outbursts before she described herself as a “work in progress” and considered her personal problems to have made her a stronger person.
She told the Telegraph last year: “I’m getting there but I can still go off on one… Having Jamie has really helped me.
“People think I’m mad having so many animals but they give me real peace when I’m with them.
“I’m probably happiest when I’m mucking out the horses or being knocked over by my Great Dane.
“Animals don’t expect anything from you except to be loved and they love you unconditionally.”
When quizzed about plans to have children last year, she expressed doubts: “Oh God, I don’t know.
She told BBC Radio 2 in June: “It is the most amazing role in the world, I’m obsessed with him… I just stare at him all day.”
In a preview for ‘Sheridan Smith: Becoming Mum’, which airs at 9PM tonight on ITV1, she expressed fears that her mental health issues of the past would “rear its ugly head again”.
But in a heartbreaking moment later, she described being pregnant as her “second chance at life”.
Smith continued: “I know it sounds stupid, but I’m in awe. I’ve grown a little person! If he cries, my body leaks milk – it’s amazing.
“I’ve left [becoming a mother until] later in life but I think it’s probably the right thing.
“I wasn’t ready before I met Jamie and now I’ve got this little family and I just feel – I can’t explain it – like a contentment, a calm.
“Maybe I was looking for something in the wrong places and now I feel like I’ve found it in this little boy.”