Allan Saint-Maximin ruined his back garden by staging dribbling contests against his dog during lockdown and now Chris Wilder can only hope the French winger has not also destroyed Sheffield United’s European ambitions.
If Saint-Maximin’s landlord harbours cause to rue the state of that lawn, Steve Bruce must thank his team’s one real maverick for dragging Newcastle to within touching distance of Premier League safety.
Admittedly their rise to the 38-point mark was also partly facilitated by John Egan’s contentious 50th-minute sending-off but further goals from the excellent Matt Ritchie and, at long last, Joelinton sealed a highly professional performance big on efficiency and understated polish.
It would presumably have been well received in Riyadh and Jeddah where the key players behind Newcastle’s seemingly stalled, highly controversial, £300m Saudi Arabian-led takeover are hoping to soon be handed the keys to St James’ Park.
Before kick-off Bruce said he “couldn’t deny” the takeover induced limbo had been a “distraction” and the, ultimately deceptive early evidence suggested that Sheffield United – already under Saudi ownership – were sharper and more switched-on.
If that served to magnify Bruce’s fears that his team might be a little “under-cooked” it perhaps also reflected the home players apparent sense of initial disbelief at being surrounded by steepled stands filled with tens of thousands of empty seats.
Without the customary 52,000 fans to raise adrenaline levels, the atmosphere was flat but after Sheffield United, half a yard off the pace, failed to make the most of some promising looking set pieces, Saint-Maximin’s unique blend of improvisation and acceleration began ruffling Wilder’s side.
The Blades backline soon looked to be suffering from a human version not so much of the canine fatigue presumably suffered by the former Nice winger’s pet as utter bewilderment.
With the tempo increasing, this new found visiting hesitancy saw Ritchie test Dean Henderson’s goalkeeping reflexes and Egan charge down Jonjo Shelvey’s shot.
Miguel Almirón’s splendid counterattacking pass left Joelinton clean through but the misfortune in front of goal which had haunted the £40m Brazilian striker before the coronavirus-induced shutdown returned with a vengeance. As he shaped to shoot, Joelinton contrived to get a boot stuck in the turf and fell over, landing flat on his face.
Shortly afterwards Egan seemed to tug back Almirón in the area. No penalty was awarded but Joelinton took out some of his frustration by squaring up to the Irishman. After a non physically distanced bout of push and shove both players were, rather harshly, booked.
Bruce’s back four received a warning of their own when Billy Sharp’s gymnastic, over the shoulder, volley flew only fractionally off target following George Baldock’s fabulous cross but, generally, the Newcastle’s manager’s decision to cast off the creative shackles imposed by Rafael Benítez’s old, safety-first 3-4-3 seemed vindicated.
Granted the home defence were not quite as solid as the forbidding metal barriers barring entrances to St James’ Park in these dystopian times but, generally, they looked impressively well organised.
Only Oliver Norwood’s dead balls and odd glimpses of highly accomplished originality from John Fleck raised the south Yorkshire attacking tone before Wilder’s gameplan suffered severe disruption through Egan’s second yellow card, deserved this time. It’s issue came after he grabbed Joelinton’s shirt and hauled him back as he accelerated towards goal.
The visitors were reorganising when, five minutes later, Saint-Maximin scored. The normally reliable Enda Stevens lost concentration, misread Matt Ritchie’s cross and ended up kicking thin air, allowing the ball to travel as far as the winger, whose low shot eluded Henderson. Might the Manchester United loanee goalkeeper have done better? His inadequate response is sure to preface an inquest.
After Newcastle’s players had exchanged a series of embraces of the sort to give Chris Whitty, Sir Patrick Vallance and the rest of the government’s scientific advisers palpitations Saint-Maximin separated himself from the group and, apparently dedicating the goal to the Black Lives Matter movement, took a knee.
Sharp spurned a fine chance to do his bit for United’s European cause by heading Baldock’s cross wastefully wide before Ritchie collected Isaac Hayden’s pass and doubled Newcastle’s advantage. An amalgam of Baldock’s backpedaling and Danny Rose’s decoy overlap precipitated the winger’s swerving left-foot shot evading Henderson from 20 yards.
All that remained was for Joelinton to punch the turf in delight after being in the right place in the right time to meet Almirón’s low cross. It was not only his first home goal in the Premier League but his first in the top tier since August.
What a shame no fans were around to witness it.