South Africa v England: fourth Test, day two – live!

60th over: England 208-4 (Root 28, Pope 35) Philander solidly reliable this morning, on a length, thundering in. A maiden.

David Gaskell emails in. “Seneca said “ Anger is brief insanity”.

Or maybe it was Minnie Caldwell in the snug at the Rovers Return.”

I feel a bit out of my depth with this Corrie talk. It never graced my TV growing up – it was all Dynasty/The Colbys. Cristal didn’t talk cricket much, though I’m sure she’d have had a soft spot for England’s Blake Carrington, David Gower.

59th over: England 208-4 (Root 28, Pope 35) Another moment of Pope gorgeousness as he shapes his bat at an angle to please geometrists and sends Hendricks’ ball skimming back down to the point boundary. A slight hiccup between the wickets but Pope beats Bavuma’s thrown home.

58th over: England 202-4 (Root 27, Pope 30) Philander fining a good line this morning, nipping the ball in to Pope, who scrambles a couple off his pads, and that’s the England 200. Some chaps off pitch relax in a hot tub. It looks a bit of a squeeze. I once read a report about faecal matter in jacuzzis and hot tubs and it put me off for life.

57th over: England 199-4 (Root 27, Pope 27) A snorting lifter from Hendricks, that Root rocks back and avoids gracefully. A maiden.

“Morning Tanya! “Morning Daniel Silverstone! “Looking forward to an interesting day’s play.

“Just wanted to chip in regarding Nasser’s defence of Stokes and Nick Hoult’s tweet about England staff being abused yesterday… it’s not acceptable behaviour, no, but I hope we’re not kidding ourselves that it doesn’t happen here in England too…

“I was sat this summer on the upper deck at Old Trafford for the Ashes test, and some of the so-called banter shouted across to the Aussie balcony to their coaching staff and players was totally out of order and over the top.
It’s probably something that needs addressing all over the place…”

56th over: England 199-4 (Root 27, Pope 27) Ollie Pope leans backwards as if he’s going to take the scythe to the long grass and cuts Philander through gully for four. The ball skips away over the green outfield.

From rainy Venice, Nicholas writes, “Piling Pelion upon Ossa? I remember Howard Hodgkin saying the same thing about his art to Susan Sontag, which prompted me to try and locate paints with these names in order to improve my work. Serves me right for not paying more attention during my 4 years of Greek at school!”

But what a lovely fruitless search! There’s a gem of a play right there.

55th over: England 195-4 (Root 27, Pope 23) Hendricks finishes off his over from yesterday. Root’s feet get in a bit of tangle early on, but a couple come from a laid-back cut over point.

Adam Collins isn’t the only blagger on the OBO, “Hi Tanya,” writes Zaph Mann, “I’m still stranded in The Empire of The Senseless (Mekons) but seeing Adam Collin’s comment brought to mind my only time I ever saw England live – The Oval – Gower times – after the morning session, watching how people came and went I hung about the members stand and wedged myself between two portly members and engaged in conversation – sure enough I floated in with them – -I then had to adopt the strut of a lawyer (Mark E. Smith) and went up to the top tier and persuaded a camera man to let me look through the -then incredible-zoom lens at Gower. Heaven. Now it’s all vicarious.”

And the players are out in the middle…

From somewhere not in front of the television, Dave Summerfield taps away, “I’m not watching Sky at the moment. If I were, it sounds I’d be taking issue with Nasser. I know he likes defending Rabada, but surely the in-your-face celebration is the kind of inflammatory act that feeds aggressive spectator behaviour ? I guess Nasser is saying that cricketers are human and that you can’t expect them to hide their emotions. Stokes was provoked. Root only provoked by refusing to be out (up to that point).”

To be fair, I don’t think was particularly defending Rabada, just saying he shouldn’t have been punished so harshly . He was almost more exercised by football fans screaming abuse at Raheem Sterling – and he wasn’t talking racist abuse – just the general abuse that people seem to feel is a right when they buy a ticket. He’s right, the combination of a sports ticket and alcohol seems to make people behave in a way they would never consider otherwise.

Play due to start at 845 GMT

Session 1: 8:45-10:45

Session 2: 11:25-1:40

Session 3: 2:00-4:00

From Nairobi, Tim writes:

Full disclosure right off the top– I’m originally from the US and only started watching cricket about 6 months ago towards the end of the group stage of the World Cup. My girlfriend went back to Canada for all of July and day after day of World Cup Cricket was pefect to fill the void… By the end of the Super Over I was hooked and watching the Ashes just cemented cricket as my 3rd favorite sport (behind the real football and ice hockey). What a time to start following English Cricket eh?

I now watch every Test/ODI/T20 I can fit in to my schedule– the honeymoon phase is lovely isn’t it?

All of that preface is to say I likely have no idea what I’m talking about but figured I’d chime in. This seems like the perfect time for a young guy like Pope to really make a name for himself and solidify his place in the squad. A century in your last innings to take control of the Test and now a chance for a big partnership here with the captain to stabilize the ship and possibly seal the series for England…that to me seems like it could have perennial member of the squad written all over it.

Too right Tim. And hope you’re ok, difficult times for Kenya at the moment – plagues of locusts of biblical proportions.

My old mucker Adam Collins is incredulous about the tale of the little red book fraud… Jail for that? In 2009, I blagged into the Lord’s members. It was the second day of the Ashes Test and I had a suit on. At lunch, the Queen was being presented to the players so the stewards were distracted. Walking in like we were meant to be there, it turned into quite the afternoon on the tonk when we up in one of the dining rooms by the tea interval, tucking into wine we didn’t pay for. Lock me up! Lock me up!

Naughty Adam. But jail does seem a little harsh…perhaps the judge is still on the waiting list.

Three left-handed openers (Knight, Cook, Burns) chew the fat. Cook points out that because there wasn’t social media and instant judgement when he first started in Test cricket, “I had a year’s grace while people tried to work me out, then I struggled, then I really understood my game.”

“Hi Tanya,” writes Ian Forth. Morning Ian! “I wonder which ‘classic mountain’ Sir Alastair Cook had in mind. Table Mountain, I suspect. When I was young I used to watch Coronation Street with my mum. One night Ken Barlow, supping his pint in the Rover’s Return, commented on a character facing a sequence of difficulties that fate was “piling Pelion upon Ossa”. Annie Walker, the landlady, smiled approvingly and they exchanged knowing looks. I don’t want to come over all Boris Johnson, but it is hard to imagine such a phrase getting past the script editor today.”

Ian, I’ll run that past Vic Marks who did classics at University…

A passionate defence of Stokes and Rabada by Nasser on Sky who puzzles over why people turn up at football and cricket match to scream abuse at the pros: “Why would you pay good money to abuse someone you admire?Why would you abuse someone doing something you can only dream of doing?”

A little diversion – who knew that you could buy a fake MCC membership card off Ebay? (a link to the original Bournemouth Echo story.)

So please send me your Saturday morning ponderings over a coffee, or perhaps before a parkrun. Apparently Ben Stokes had a meeting with the match referee this morning , but no news yet. Sir Alastair Cook calls it, “a classic mountain out of a molehill.”

This is pretty depressing

…ah, we’re on at The Wanderers – it is overcast and has been raining, but isn’t any more. The covers have been taken off and there will be an inspection at 8am – the pitch is a bit damp where it has sweated under the covers. Best guess is a 9am GMT start. In the studio, Rory Burns is in the hot seat with SirAlastair. Poor Rory is being asked how well the openers are batting, then has to listen to Atherton waxing lyrical about Crawley and Sibley: “I’ve never seen an England opening pair looking so good here.”

I’ve stumbled downstairs to find the television has already been taken over by Sydney Sixers v Melbourne Renegades.

While we wait for news from Jo’burg, a bit of reading. This was the interview with Kevin Pietersen where he said England needed to treat Jofra Archer better, here is Vic on yesterday’s play

and here is the Stokes mea culpa.

Good morning Johannesburg, Ed Sheeran and anyone else in the frame for some Saturday morning cricket.

By the time you read this, Ben Stokes will have spent a long night of the soul chewing over his “foul-mouthed altercation” with the mouthy glasses wearing fan he invited outside, after having a thrash at Nortje and being caught for two.

Thoughtfully, Sky replayed the incident for the benefit of their viewers, so the match referee will have had plenty of time for a good look – and the look isn’t great if we’re honest.

How big Stokes’ punishment, will be down to the whim of the ref – for reference, Kagiso Rabada got a demerit for his too-close-for-comfort celebration after dismissing Root at Port Elizabeth, and Jos Buttler was handed a demerit and fined 15 per cent of his match fee for chucking some abuse at Vernon Philander at Cape Town.

Aside from that, England finished the day in jaunty enough spirits after a wonderful opening partnership – of 100+ for the first time in a first-innings for over a decade – between Dom Sibley and Zak Crawley, followed by a small but perfectly formed collapse, followed by Root and Pope handing out cocoa-dusted chocolate truffles to finish a rain and light-affected day. South Africa’s bowlers were cock-eyed after losing the toss until after tea, when line and length regrouped.

And it all starts again at 8am. See you then.