The Christmas holidays seem to have come early at The Mill given the tardiness of today’s tattle, but there’s no sign of such inactivity at Manchester United, where suits are busy trying to tie up a deal for the Red Bull Salzburg and Norway striker Erling Braut Haaland. The 19-year-old would cost United £76m – although Salzburg’s caffeine-laced sister club Red Bull Leipzig have an arrangement which would allow them to pinch the goal guzzler for a paltry £20m. Haaland himself is believed to prefer a move to Old Trafford, and if the transfer does go through he could be loaned back to his current club until the end of the season. However another whippersnapper has turned down a January move to United, with Barcelona’s 15-year-old left-back Juan Larios set to join Manchester City when he turns 16 next month.
Duncan Ferguson could still be effing and jeffing on the Goodison touchline when Carlo Ancelotti is appointed Everton manager, with Big Dunc in line for an assistant role alongside Ancelotti’s 30-year-old son, Davide. Meanwhile, Everton could now be the frontrunners to sign Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who has taken offence at Milan’s offer of a £1.7m contract over 18 months. Big Zlat is demanding double that.
Elsewhere, Bayer Leverkusen’s 20-year-old winger Kai Havertz is set to disappoint potential suitors such as Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester United by staying at the Bundesliga side; Crystal Palace have no intention of backing down on their demand of 80 million big ones from anyone who wants to buy Wilfried Zaha; Stoke manager Michael O’Neill may have to offload several players next month to help satisfy the Championship club’s beancounters; and West Ham striker Albian Ajeti has said what every player at the club is thinking by admitting he quite fancies a January exit.
Meanwhile all Rafa Benítez wants for Christmas is a move back to the Premier League. The former Newcastle and Liverpool manager, who is in charge of the Chinese side Dalian Yifang, has spoken of his desire to return to England to be 5,000-odd miles closer to his family.