“Hi Rob,” says Peter Oh. “Right about now, Klopp is probably ordering his crew to set phasers to stun.”
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ANY OF THIS STAR TREK STUFF MEANS.
GOAL! Tottenham 1-0 Burnley (Kane 4)
Harold Kane Esquire gives Spurs an early lead with a fierce hit from 25 yards.
“There is a view,” says John Tumbridge, “that the only reason Ferguson was still employed at Everton was because no one had the courage to tell him to sling his hook.”
There’s a drone for that.
“If teams are Star Trek line-ups,” begins Ian Copestake, “then Arsenal quite possibly provide the guys beamed down to the planet with Kirk that no one has seen before or will see again.”
That’s extremely harsh on André Clarindo dos Santos (born 8 March 1983), more commonly known as André Santos, is a Brazilian footballer who most recently played for Figueirense.
Bundesliga It’s Borussia Monchengladbach 0-0 Bayern Munich after 20 minutes of the big game in Germany. Bayern have had most of the ball but neither side has had a shot on target, it says here. RB Leipzig, who are second, lead Hoffenheim 1-0.
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La Liga Here’s more on Real Madrid’s comfortable with over Espanyol, which put them top of the table for at least the next few hours.
“Gosh Rob, I’d be scared to tell van Dijk he was out of the line-up and I wonder if Jurgen Klopp feels the same,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “I’m sure VVD has his light and whimsical side, but from all I’ve seen – and this is my club, remember – if they were still making Star Trek movies and you needed an athlete to play a Klingon (as basketball’s James Worthy did) could you think of anyone better? ‘Prune juice. A warrior’s drink.’”
Championship Leeds have gone top of the table with a 2-0 win at Huddersfield. Both goals were crackers – Ezgjan’s Alioski’s volley and a header from Pablo Hernandez to complete a lovely counter-attack.
Premier League Everton have beaten Chelsea 3-1 in the early kick-off at Goodison Park. The infectious fervour of Duncan Ferguson made for a classic Goodison occasion; his celebrations alone were worth the ticket price, and I suspect Everton fans will be talking about this day for years. Not because they beat Chelsea, but because Big Dunc’s team beat Chelsea. Brilliant stuff.
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Liverpool’s packed schedule has forced Jurgen Klopp to embrace rotation in the last couple of weeks. For today’s game, Sadio Mane and Trent Alexander-Arnold are rested.
It’s notable, if unsurprising, that there is one player who is yet to be rotated. Virgil van Dijk has started Liverpool’s last 66 Premier League games. (I’m pretty sure that statistic is correct. If it’s not, deal wiv it.)
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Tottenham Hotspur v Burnley team news
Tottenham Hotspur (4-2-3-1) Gazzaniga; Aurier, Sanchez, Alderweireld, Vertonghen; Sissoko, Dier; Lucas Moura, Alli, Son; Kane.
Subs: Rose, Lo Celso, Sessegnon, Eriksen, Skipp, Whiteman, Parrott.
Burnley (4-4-2) Pope; Lowton, Tarkowski, Mee, Pieters; Brady, Hendrick, Cork, McNeil, Rodriguez, Wood. Subs: Drinkwater, Gibson, Hart, Lennon, Vydra, Goodridge, Driscoll-Glennon.
Referee Kevin Friend (Leicestershire)
Watford v Crystal Palace team news
Watford (4-2-2-2) Foster; Femenia, Kabasele, Cathcart, Masina; Doucoure, Capoue; Pereyra, Sarr; Deeney, Deulofeu.
Subs: Gomes, Mariappa, Chalobah, Gray, Hughes, Success, Foulquier.
Crystal Palace (4-3-3) Guaita; Kelly, Tomkins, Cahill, Schlupp; Kouyate, Milivojevic, McArthur; Townsend, Ayew, Zaha.
Subs: Dann, Hennessey, Benteke, Wickham, McCarthy, Victor Camarasa,
Riedewald.
Referee Martin Atkinson (W Yorkshire)
Bournemouth v Liverpool team news
AFC Bournemouth (4-4-2) Ramsdale; Francis, Mepham, Ake, Rico; Fraser, Lerma, Billing, Danjuma; Solanke, Callum Wilson.
Subs: Boruc, Gosling, Surman, Ibe, Lewis Cook, Stacey, Simpson.
Liverpool (4-3-3) Alisson; Gomez, Lovren, van Dijk, Robertson; Milner, Henderson, Keita; Salah, Firmino, Oxlade-Chamberlain.
Subs: Mane, Adrian, Shaqiri, Origi, Jones, Alexander-Arnold, Elliott.
Referee Chris Kavanagh (Lancashire).
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Championship Leeds, who started the day in second, lead Huddersfield 1-0 thanks to a sizzling volley from Ezgjan Alioski. There are just over 20 minutes remaining in that game.
La Liga Real Madrid have beaten Espanyol 2-0 to go top of the table. Raphael Varane and Karim Benzema troubled the scorers.
The leaders Liverpool will go 11 points clear, at least for the next 23 hours, if they win at Bournemouth. They famously lost 4-3 at the Vitality Stadium three seasons ago, having been 3-1 up, though that was in the slightly shambolic days before VAR – Virgil, Alisson and Robertson. On their last two trips to Bournemouth, Liverpool have won emphatically, 4-0 each time.
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Preamble
Hello and welcome to coverage of another bumper afternoon of association soccer. There are only three 3pm kick offs in the Premier League, but there are plenty of other sources of the old entertainment. One of the more intriguing fixtures is in Germany, where the leaders Borussia Mönchengladbach host the champions Bayern Munich.
You can see a full list of fixtures here. We’re unable, in the absence of 482 hands, to focus on all of them. So these are our featured games this afternoon (all 3pm kick-offs unless stated, but you probably knew that anyway, and in truth we could have done without this parenthesis, especially as it’s starting to go on a bit. For heaven’s sake, it’s taken up more than half of this paragraph!).
Premier League
- Bournemouth v Liverpool
- Spurs v Burnley
- Watford v Crystal Palace
Championship
- Fulham v Bristol City
- Sheffield Wednesday v Preston North End
League One
League Two
Scottish Premiership
Bundesliga
- Borussia Mönchengladbach v Bayern (2.30pm)
We’ll have team news and all that jazz imminently. In the meantime, you can follow Everton v Chelsea with Scott Murray. You’ll not believe the score!
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