New Zealand v England: second Test, day one – live!

8th over: New Zealand 17-1 (Latham 12, Williamson 1) Another row of five dots as Archer keeps Latham quiet, before a quick single off the last ball, which will keep Kane Williamson off strike for a bit longer.

“Dear Fellow-Tim,” begins Tim Sanders. “He’s not even the best wicketkeeper at Surrey. [Pope, that is.] Someone has to say it – For Foakes’ Sake! I suppose it’s a sign that the selectors and management see this as a bit of a friendly warm-up type jaunt to New Zealand, that they didn’t bring a second wicketkeeper who is first-choice for their county, and left out the player who is actual first choice at Ollie Pope’s actual county. I’ve read Jonny Bairstow’s book, in which he describes how it was standing in for Matt Prior seven years ago, having not even completed a full season keeping wicket for Yorkshire and not having played a first-class game for some months. So Pope, however talented he is, has been left horribly exposed.

“Whilst I’m on – five seamers?! Surely if it’s that seamer-friendly, we won’t need five of them? Anyone would think there was some sort of important selection decisions being made in the UK and I’m trying to avoid them by talking about cricket.”

7th over: New Zealand 16-1 (Latham 11) That was crafty from Broad, who kept Raval pinned down with five dots, then floated up the full one.

There we are. Broad moves one away, Raval doesn’t have to play it but he fancies the length, and Root takes a comfortable catch at first slip.

6th over: New Zealand 16-0 (Raval 5, Latham 11) Archer is in the mood. Off his 16th ball, he finally concedes a four, but only because Latham thick-edges and Root hasn’t got a third man.

5th over: New Zealand 12-0 (Raval 5, Latham 7) A couple of singles off Broad, who also brings one back into Raval that whispers in the ear of the off stump as it goes by.

“That,” says Andrew Goudie, “was possibly the ropiest rendition of ‘Jerusalem’ that I’ve ever heard.”

4th over: New Zealand 10-0 (Raval 4, Latham 6) Archer, bowling quicker now, keeps Latham tied down, and draws a leading edge. There’s a word itching to come out of my keyboard, and the word is “Wicket!”.

“Talking of ‘Father of the House’ Scyld Berry,” says Ian Forth, “I’ve just binge-watched The Crown in which the Father of the House for many years, Ted Heath, emerges rather poorly. Disappointingly cricket failed to emerge as a theme, again. Surely the Duke of Edinburgh hauling Tony Greig over the coals for disloyalty to the Empire would have made a highly dramatic episode. Or at the very least, a poster of David Steele executing a forward lunge on Princess Anne’s bedroom wall.” Even by royal standards, that might have been a bit eccentric.

3rd over: New Zealand 10-0 (Raval 4, Latham 6) Raval clumps Broad for a couple through the covers. Ian Smith, the commentator who became a legend one day in July, feels the pitch is only superficially green, and will turn out quite dry. If he’s right, five seamers may well add up to a howler.

“Do we know,” asks Beth, “why England are wearing black armbands today?” In memory of Chris Silverwood’s father-in-law.

2nd over: New Zealand 8-0 (Raval 2, Latham 6) Jofra Archer, necklace catching the sunshine, finds his line right away and concedes only a single as Raval plays another nurdle.

“Hiya,” says Dean Kinsella. “Any chance of the TMS link please Tim.” Going to have to crowd-source that one…

“Looking at this line-up,” says Kevin Wilson, “you almost want NZ to win by an innings and 60 again.”

1st over: New Zealand 7-0 (Raval 1, Latham 6) Raval tucks Broad off his hip for a single to get the scoreboard moving. As Jerusalem rings out, it’s clear that the pitch is green and unpleasant for the batsmen. Latham edges his first ball through the vacant fourth slip, clips the next one nicely for four, then inside-edges onto the pad. Fifth ball, Ollie Pope finally gets something to do and he pulls off a fine diving take as Broad swings one back in.

The players are out there. England look a bit like Man United did earlier, with Stuart Broad taking the role of Lee Grant and Joe Root as Jesse Lingard. What can possibly go wrong?

“One of my issues with Root’s captaincy,” says Tom van der Gucht, “is that he seems to never move on from certain players despite them being left out. It can’t be good for the team he has with him in NZ when they keep reading interviews where he’s banging on about how Moeen Ali and Bairstow still have a big future in the team. He should be bigging up the newbies so they go in filled with confidence rather than worrying that they’re only a temporary filler until he brings his mates back.” Fair point, but it may not be his decision.

An email! “Seriously,” says Alex Gaywood, “if the England players don’t spend this entire test constantly reminding Daryl Mitchell that he’s not even the best cricketer called Daryl Mitchell then there’s something very wrong in the world of cricketing sledging. With there also being an Aussie cricketer using the name Ryan Sidebottom, is this part of a grand plot from the southern hemisphereans to steal the names of our cult county cricketers for their own devious use?”

More senior press-box wisdom, this time from Simon Wilde of The Sunday Times. “England’s leading Test run-scorers since May 1, 2018,” he notes, are “Jos Buttler [with] 1,228 runs, Joe Root 1,213 runs, Ben Stokes 1,180. Only person to average more than 40 in that time is Ben Foakes (41.5). Anyone know what happened to him?”

When you want to know what’s going off out there, the person to turn to is Scyld Berry of the Telegraph, who is the father of the house among English cricket writers. “Lovely morning to bowl first after England won toss,” he observes on Twitter. “A damp pitch, some cloud, humid and five seamers, no Jack Leach. Hard job for Ollie Pope to keep to Jofra Archer … Or will England freeze, as their seamers have before in these circumstances?”

NZ 1 Jeet Raval, 2 Tom Latham, 3 Kane Willaimson (capt), 4 Ross Taylor, 5 Henry Nicholls, 6 BJ Watling (wkt), 7 Daryl Mitchell, 8 Mitchell Santner, 9 Tim Southee, 10 Matt Henry, 11 Neil Wagner.

England 1 Rory Burns, 2 Dominic Sibley, 3 Joe Denly, 4 Joe Root (capt), 5 Ben Stokes, 6 Ollie Pope (wkt), 7 Zak Crawley, 8 Sam Curran, 9 Chris Woakes, 10 Jofra Archer, 11 Stuart Broad.

Kane Williamson, candid as ever, says he would have liked to bowl first too. In his XI, Daryl Mitchell replaces Colin de Grandhomme as the allrounder and Matt Henry will take the new ball instead of Trent Boult. I wonder how soon that will be.

Joe Root calls right again and this time he fancies a bowl. He’s playing FIVE seamers, with Jack Leach replaced by Chris Woakes.

Jos Buttler is ruled out after tweaking his back in the gym, where he is England’s most zealous exerciser, equal with Ben Stokes. Ollie Pope takes the gloves, which might, paradoxically, help him settle with the bat; he becomes England’s fourth Test wicketkeeper this year. Buttler’s place goes to the only spare batsman, Zak Crawley, who has been presented with his England cap by his Kent team-mate, Joe Denly. Crawley is expected to bat at No.7. It’s all a bit of a mess.

Evening everyone, or should that be morning? Wherever you are in your day, the England captain may be on borrowed time. Joe Root has just had his worst week since the Ashes horror show of 2017-18. It’s hard to say what was more inert in the first Test at Mount Maunganui, his leadership or his batting. And now he’s lost the support of the person in the press box who has walked the most miles in his shoes. “England,” wrote Mike Atherton in Wednesday’s Times, “need Root’s runs far more than his captaincy.” Atherton’s words, which tend to be carefully chosen, carry weight with cricket administrators, and that “far” was pretty damning.

In a further sign of a turning tide, both The Times and Cricinfo have published guides to who might succeed Root (consensus: probably Jos Buttler, with the odd wistful glance at Eoin Morgan, who could probably have the job if he wanted it, as a specialist captain in the Brearley tradition). One of Root’s many bosses, Ashley Giles, may already be regretting saying that England “plan for him to be our captain” in the next Ashes, when it’s still two years away. It was unlike Giles to break one of the golden rules of sport: take each game as it comes.

The good news for Root is that this second and final Test hands him an instant chance to turn things around, and New Zealand are missing his personal tormentor, Colin de Grandhomme, as well as Trent Boult. A drawn series would be one better than last time, and this England often react to a shocker by suddenly shaping up. The bad news is that the match is at Hamilton, which has become a fortress for New Zealand. They have five wins and a draw in the past six Tests there, never mind the confidence that flows from a crushing victory.

England haven’t won a Test in Australasia since Andrew Strauss was captain, nine years ago. That’s 16 Tests’ worth of nocturnal pain for their supporters. Are they in for more of the same? We will begin to find out at 11am local time, which is 10pm in the UK. I’ll be back 25 minutes before that with the toss and the teams. If you need something to read in the meantime, I recommend this, picked up by The Guardian: Wisden Cricket Monthly’s feature on the state of the art of commentary.