SPOOKY GOINGS-ON
Celebrated the night before Halloween in certain parts of the north of England, Mischief Night is an informal occasion for callow teenagers to come together on the streets and celebrate their vitality by playing mischievous pranks on unsuspecting local folk in the name of b@nter. Known locally in Liverpool as “Mizzy Night”, Wednesday’s celebration has been hailed as “the worst ever” after gangs of young hooligans caused untold misery, carnage and destruction when they set about vandalising cars, businesses and homes, causing hundreds of thousands of pounds of damage and prompting the local mayor to describe them as “feral”.
While most of those guilty of this lawless, anti-social behaviour will escape uncaught and unpunished, the identities of one group of youths who made significant contributions to the chaos visited upon Merseyside on Wednesday night can be revealed. Members of an Anfield Road-based gang known as Liverpool Football Club, Sepp van der Berg (17), Harvey Elliott (16), Rhian Brewster (19), Curtis Jones (18) and the comparatively elderly Caoimhin Kelleher (20) were fingered by no shortage of witnesses as being among those whose high-spirited exuberance was a major contributory factor towards one of the most chaotic games in recent years. All five whippersnappers started or finished Liverpool’s ludicrously entertaining 5-5 draw with Arsenal, with Jones scoring one decisive penalty in the shootout shortly after Kelleher had saved another to help put their side into the quarter-finals of the Littlewoods Cup.
“I was so happy for the kids that they will remember their first night at Anfield for the rest of their life,” said their babysitter, Jürgen Klopp. “Maybe as a manager I should think more about or worry about the goals that we conceded but I couldn’t care less to be honest. I couldn’t care less tonight.” For all the pleasure Klopp’s young tyros provided, their precocious talent has also landed him with another game to plan for in an already packed December schedule.
Currently facing the prospect of playing a match every three or four days throughout the final month of the year, Liverpool now face the prospect of meeting Aston Villa in the Milk Cup at the same time as they are playing Biggest Cup 3,500 miles away in Qatar. Unimpressed with the situation in which his team find themselves, Klopp has suggested his side may actually have to withdraw from the competition in which they progressed. “If they can’t find the proper date for us and I don’t mean Christmas Day, 3am … then we can’t play the game,” he tooted. “Our opponents will progress. We will not be the victims of this problem.” A fair point, perhaps, but like their counterparts wreaking havoc on “Mizzy Night”, Klopp’s new breed need to learn that actions – commendable or otherwise – invariably have consequences.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It’s a difficult story. It’s about gangs. We come from a difficult city [Lyon]. So it was really hard because you don’t have time to … you’ve just lost your brother and after your mother gets cancer, so it’s really hard” – France’s Kenza Dali talks to Suzanne Wrack about life at West Ham and dealing with the loss of her brother and her mother’s illness.
FIVER LETTERS
“With regards to Derby County and their moral stand after sacking Richard Keogh. Of course ‘the club will not tolerate any of its players or staff behaving in a manner which puts themselves, their colleagues, and members of the general public at risk of injury or worse’, especially, of course in a man in his mid-30s who may have had his career ended. I must have missed the sacking of those younger, still-fit-to-play men who were actually drink-driving. Just for a moment, I caught myself thinking something rather brazenly repellent and cynical was happening, but this is a modern-day professional football club, so of course not” – Jon Millard.
“To celebrate the latest Brexit Day I’m wearing my Milan ‘Motta’ 1994 jersey, reading this excellent article and thinking … if we Fiver readers sold all our replica shirts we would have enough to buy the election” – Tony Crawford.
“I envy Maradona’s throne (yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs), but more than that I envy his access to football that puts him on the edge of that seat. As a Spurs supporter I have been solidly in the centre of the upholstery this season” – Seth King.
Send your letters to [email protected]. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Jon Millard.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
An independent review of Kick It Out has found a series of governance failings including poor communication and a lack of training in staff welfare.
Here’s the last-eight line-up for the Coca-Cola Cup.
Manchester City are out of Women’s Big Cup after a 3-2 aggregate defeat at Atlético Madrid. “This will hurt,” yelped manager Nick Cushing. “We just need to make sure we keep believing and we will be fine.”
Tigres celebrated Halloween in the Día de los Muertos style and a 1-0 win over Toluca in the Mexican league.
Notoriously mild-mannered Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis has taken Atalanta’s controversial equaliser in a 2-2 Serie A draw well. “The referees would be peeling potatoes without us,” he fumed. “We’re fed up. We’re tired of paying for this level of officiating.”
You may be shocked to learn this, but West Ham’s Jack Wilshere is back on the sidelines with some groin-twang.
Arsenal back-up keeper Emiliano Martínez insists the squad is fully behind Granit Xhaka in the wake of his funky fan feelings. “He’s a lovely guy, he’s a bit devastated because he has got a good family, a good heart and he loves the club,” cooed Martínez. “When someone goes through that, we have to support him and we are together.”
And Perth Glory reckon they can lure Zlatan Ibrahimovic to the flamin’ A-League. “An approach has been made to his [Mr 15%],” parped chief suit Tony Pignata. “We’ve asked the question firstly about his availability and secondly of his interest.”
STILL WANT MORE?
Some hot midweek action in Italy and Spain to digest: Sid Lowe gets all steamed up over Betis’s dramatic late win against Celta, among other things, while Nicky Bandini’s Serie A blog focuses on Chris Smalling’s revival at Roma.
The Premier League should stop VAR operating as a nitpickers’ charter, harrumphs Paul Wilson.
The Fiver wouldn’t know sartorial elegance if it stole all our remaining Tin supplies, but vintage football shirts are a style game-changer, according to Lauren Cochrane.
Beau Dure on why the USA! USA!! USA!!! men’s team will always be chasing the pack.
Where next in Australia’s flamin’ pursuit of football’s next golden generation, ponders Richard Parkin.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Football Weekly Extra will be round this way.
RECOMMENDED ATTENDING
Tickets are now available for Big Department’s year in review evening.
RECOMMENDED BUYING
This week’s David Squires cracker is now available to buy and you can get your hands on some of his other favourite cartoons at our Print Shop.