Marwan Kenzari as Jafar in Disney’s live-action Aladdin.
Daniel Smith
Forget being stuck as a genie in a lamp for eternity in the desert, Aladdin villain Jafar could’ve been thrown in the slammer for more than 164 years if he’d committed his crimes in the US today.
To celebrate the release of the live-action Aladdin movie, online resale site DeCluttr has done a little legal investigation into the crimes of some of Disney’s most famous cartoon villains.
The only Disney villain ahead of Agrabah’s Grand Vizier was Captain Hook of Peter Pan, who DeCluttr said would either spend 244 years behind bars or be dealt the death penalty for piracy, attempted murder, murder and kidnapping.
Right behind Captain Hook and Jafar is Hades, with the Hercules villain up for just under 160 years for murder, false imprisonment and kidnapping, and while Zazu doesn’t quite get his wish to make a throw rug out of Scar from The Lion King — the next big live-action Disney remake to hit our screens — Mufasa’s killer could still be locked up for 157 years.
Either that, or Scar would be facing the death penalty, which is kind of what he got from his hyena minions.
If she hadn’t been taken out by Prince Eric’s harpoon, Ursula of The Little Mermaid would be locked up for 142 years for attempted murder, murder, false imprisonment and treason.
At almost half the time in prison for the comparatively saintly crimes of breaking and entering, bribery and incitement to riot is Gaston of Beauty and the Beast, who won’t be eating five dozen eggs for breakfast anymore during his 84-and-a-half-year stay in prison.
Snow White’s Evil Queen would get 82 years and six months for attempted murder by poisoned apple, abuse of power and false imprisonment; Prince John of Robin Hood would get 66 years for assault and treason; and everyone’s favorite fur-wearing dognapper, Cruella de Vil, from 101 Dalmatians would be locked up for 12 and a half years for cruelty to animals as well as reckless driving.
In an unfair twist for someone facing counts of domestic violence and false imprisonment — as well as criminal damage for destroying Cinderella’s glass slipper — the Wicked Stepmother would be up for only eight years and two months, DeCluttr said.