Andy Murray has been guarding a chronic hip condition for several years, he has revealed in his first major interview since announcing his plans to retire from the game because of injury.
Speaking to journalists before what could be his last public appearance on a court on Monday at the Australian Open, the three-time grand slam winner talked of his bitter regret at having to abandon competitive tennis and admitted he had “zero interest” in doing anything else.
He said: “Because I’ve been in pain for a long time, it’s not as simple as, ‘My pain started at the French Open, I’ve never had hip pain before.’ I’d been in pain for quite a long time beforehand but was managing it and was able to play, so I was thinking, ‘If my hip improves I’ll be able to go back to competing.’”
The 31-year-old said that he had discussed competing again with specialists. “Because of when I had the surgery and what I was told about the surgery, and the timings of when things can be beneficial, I thought, well I need to wait it out a bit and see.”
He looked down, paused and added: “Obviously it didn’t help enough. That’s how difficult it was.”
If the former world No 1’s match against the Spaniard Roberto Bautista Agut in the first round of the Australian Open on Monday is his last public appearance on a tennis court – as he fears it might be – he will leave to rapturous applause and the gratitude of a generation. Despite beating Agut in their three previous matches, Murray does not expect to win.
The Scot said he was determined to follow advice from psychologists and delay making decisions about what he does next.
“I don’t want to stop playing tennis just now,” he admitted. “I don’t feel ready, the rest of my body feels perfect.
“That’s the hard thing about it. It’s not like I wake up and my whole body’s sore, and just aching, and it’s too much. It’s just one problem that can’t be fixed. That’s why it’s difficult. Look, lots of things have been weird. Like, the US Open last year for me was quite odd, because I was in a lot of pain.”
There he lost to Fernando Verdasco in the second round. He lost to him again in Shenzhen – and that was it for 2018 – 12 matches, seven defeats and nothing to show for it but a seemingly ineradicable limp and dwindling hopes after 15 years as a professional.
“I know I’ve got no chance of winning this tournament and most likely I’m going to lose in the first round. I’m not happy about that. Because of the way the last six months of competing have gone, I could win but it’s likely that I won’t. It’s going to be uncomfortable,” he said.
“If it is my last match, I want to try and enjoy it – enjoy the whole experience, which is maybe something during my career that I’ve not done. I’ve always been focused on tactics and winning and finding a way; that’s been the most important thing.”
What Murray wants to do after spending nearly his entire life playing tennis is to have some fun, play five-a-side with his mates, and fit in some golf – which might have been his chosen sport, if his father, Willie, had had his way, rather than his mother, Judy, who steered him towards tennis.
He could have been a footballer. But tennis, with its inbuilt frustrations and challenges, its quirks of scoring and circumstances, suited his mercurial rhythm. It gave him a canvas on which to paint his particular art. Few did it more artfully. Manufacturing a graceful departure has not been easy, though.
“Coming in here, my mindset is… it feels very different. Like, the other day, I was saying to my team: ‘The thing that’s difficult – because I’m not practising anywhere near as much as I used to – is I can’t just go back on the practice court and work on my serve or whatever I’m not happy with – I can’t do that any more.’
“But it’s interesting because once I’d started thinking about stopping, that there was a possibility that I wasn’t going to be playing much longer, all of the things that I thought I would quite like to do, I have zero interest in doing right now.
“I have no motivation to do anything else just now. Thinking about what I do when I finish playing and rushing into decisions – from speaking to psychologists – is the worst thing I should be doing. It’s going to take time for me to deal with it. I need time to get over it and then to know what my next steps are going to be.
“I know that will be difficult. I love tennis. I love playing the game.”