Andy Murray admits: ‘It’s not how I want to finish, that’s the hardest part’

Andy Murray, a complex man in search of simple pleasures, is resigned to hobbling away in pain from the sport that has been his life for more than two decades. But, as he contemplates what may be his last appearance on a tennis court – against Roberto Bautista Agut in the first round of the Australian Open on Monday – the manner of his leaving still consumes him.

He has two stark choices: replace the hip that has turned him into a walking target and dream about another improbable comeback in the distant future, or have what is known as re-surfacing, a midway solution that would rescue at least some of his athleticism, if not enough for him to play professional tennis.

For months Murray fought against the notion that soon the modest inscription on his Twitter biography – “I play tennis” – would be as redundant as his rackets.

“My hip needs to be replaced at some stage,” he admitted on Friday in Melbourne. “It’s badly damaged. But I’ve dealt with the feeling for a very long time. I’d say: ‘If I can reduce the pain, it’s something I’ll be able to compete with.’

“But it got to a point where it wouldn’t improve. I can’t damage my hip more by playing. Obviously it will get worse [with age] but there are operations that will fix that. If I stop playing tennis today, I would seriously consider having an operation because, day to day, life is not fun if I can’t do stuff I would want to do – even if I wasn’t a professional athlete.

“I would want to go and play football with my friends or go and play 18 holes of golf – whereas now I can’t think of anything worse than going and playing five-a-side football because I can’t kick a football.

“There is a possibility it [a hip replacement] could prolong my career. Hip resurfacing is something that has been around for 15 years and has been successful for a younger generation of people that have had issues with hips. It allows them to live a very active lifestyle and that is why, I understand from speaking to experts, it is a better option for somebody of my age.

“If I was to stop playing today, that is something I would consider because it would allow me to run around a little bit more freely than with a hip replacement. I’m sure there are some doctors and surgeons who would dispute that and say a hip replacement is better. But there are quite a few athletes out there who have gone back to competing after having [resurfacing] done. As somebody who wants to live an active lifestyle, it’s a better option for me.”


Andy Murray: career highlights from one of Britain’s greatest sportsmen – video

He pretty much made his mind up that his career was over after a wretched third practice session with Fernando Verdasco in Miami in early December. The pain shooting through his right hip went straight to his heart and he told his team: “This is it. I need to know when this is over. My hip is killing me.” Murray recalled: “I had tears in my eyes. I said to them: ‘I shouldn’t be continuing to go through that for nothing any more.’”

Murray needed a result or an end-point, as he calls it, a scoreline. “There have been points through the last year [since hip surgery in Melbourne] where I had spoken about stopping. I was in too much pain, wasn’t enjoying it. It didn’t feel like the surgery had worked. I had been advised after having the operation that things could improve after up to a year to 18 months. I was advised to see how that goes. Then I went off to Philadelphia and did different rehab, which helped and improved things to a point.

“But my hip doesn’t recover from matches or training any more. In Brisbane [last week, when he lost in straight sets in the second round to the world No 16 Daniil Medvedev], I felt OK in the first match – not amazing, just OK. But next day I felt quite a bit worse. As a tournament goes on, the pain gets worse, so my performance drops. There’s no possibility for me to do well.”

He has consulted his wife, Kim, and spoken to his mother, Judy, and brother, Jamie, who were on their way to Melbourne, he said, where they would more fully take on board what he is going through.

“I’d imagine they are pretty gutted for me. They know everything I have gone through – well, to a certain extent they do. I have spoken to them a lot, probably my mum more than my brother. They know this isn’t a decision I want to take but one I feel I have to. You guys all have loved ones as well, you know what it is like.

“Look, at the end of the day, it is only tennis. It’s just a game, whatever. There is more to life than that. But for many reasons it’s been more than that for me. Stopping the way it’s happened doesn’t sit particularly well with me. It’s not how I would want to finish playing. I don’t think any athlete wants that. They want to go out when they decide, not have their body telling them that is the case. That’s the hardest part of it.”

Murray doubts he can ever replace the excitement that engaged him on court. “You can’t. Well, maybe you can by taking certain substances, but you cannot recreate the high of winning Wimbledon or winning a Davis Cup. As much as the lows of losing here for a fifth time hurt, I always had that as a motivation. It was something that gave me drive, to get up and work hard. I don’t anticipate being able to replace that. That’s something that maybe when I finish I will be happy about, living a more stable life.”

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And what have been the biggest highs?

“Two things stand out to me: the second Wimbledon and carrying the flag at the Olympics. That was an off-court thing. There are not loads of things off the court that relate to my tennis. They don’t for me come anywhere close to that.”

The man who did more than any of his coaches to transform Murray into the fully fledged champion he became was Ivan Lendl.

Lendl said on Friday: “As Andy looks to wind down over the coming months the world of tennis will lose a great competitor but he will leave a measure of true grit that we all can learn from. Andy always left it all out on the court and I will look back with great feelings about the years we worked together. They were a lot of fun times filled with excitement. I am honoured to have been part of his team and to have been able to help him achieve as many of his lofty goals as possible.”

source: theguardian.com