Well that was probably the best American Horror Story finale yet.
Apocalypse ended on Wednesday with the day saved for now, and it happened mostly as expected after last week’s episode. Mallory (Billie Lourd) went back in time and destroyed Michael (Cody Fern), running him over and over and over with a car just after his grandmother Constance (Jessica Lange) kicked him out of the house for being totally evil. Despite his begging to be brought into the house so he could become trapped inside it, Constance left him to die in the street. Bye bye Michael.
The apocalypse never happened, and the underworld was so pleased that they even sent Misty (Lily Rabe) back to life while Mallory prevented Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe) from staying at the Hotel Cortez, and planned to retrieve Madison (Emma Roberts) from retail hell. So in the end (or almost the end) everything worked out, but it took an awful lot of blood to get there.
First, Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) explained the situation. Coco (Leslie Grossman) and Mallory were going to join the bunker, alongside the evil Dinah Stevens (Adina Porter), but with totally new identities. Coco was based on Madison, and Mallory was cast as her meek assistant, to help keep her powers hidden from Michael.
After Cordelia, Myrtle (Frances Conroy), and Madison returned, bringing with them the real Voodoo queen, Angela Bassett (who gloriously took down Dinah), they made robot Kathy Bates explode, Madison used the robot arm gun to shoot Michael a hundred times or so, and that bought some time to prep Mallory’s time travel magic. (Then Madison’s head exploded!)
That’s when Billy Eichner showed up out of nowhere, stabbed her, and got all yelly until Myrtle set him on fire and threw him over a ledge. Mallory wasn’t strong enough to do the spell, so Cordelia had to kill herself to give Mallory full Supreme power, and it would have all been very emotional if Mallory didn’t then go back in time to erase all of it.
She had fixed everything except for Myrtle still being dead, and all seemed fine, until she reminded us via voiceover that the devil will never stop, and it turns out he literally won’t stop doing the exact same thing.
We were suddenly back with those two random kids who fell in love in the bunker way back at the beginning of the season. We saw them meet and plan a date, we saw them have a baby a year later (bit of a jump there, but OK), and then we saw them three years later, complaining about their angry toddler. They then arrived home from a date night to discover the a blood-covered kid in a rocking chair, giggling over his dead babysitter. That’s when the doorbell rang, and the Satanists had arrived to claim the kid as one of their own.
Originally we thought only a horrible encounter between a possessed ghost and a human could create such a monster, so it sure is great to know that anyone can do it.
Anyway, that was that, and we have to say we walked out of this finale feeling pretty damn satisfied, if a bit concerned. Still not sure what was up with either of Billy Eichner’s characters, and we’ve still got a lot of questions about what is up with Ms. Venable and that whole purple/grey scheme she apparently totally invented with help from a robot, but aside from that, our questions were answered, the witches are mostly all safe, and we couldn’t ask for a whole lot more.
American Horror Story airs on FX.