Hic! department
“The very best of good afternoons to you Rob and fellow readers!!” says John Withington. “I think it’s time we shared a drink to celebrate. So while the rest of you were biting nails I was conjuring a new Guardian Over by Over cocktail. I think there’s probably a book in this! Last year it was Jimmy’s 500 for the “one short” rum cocktail. This time it’s the Eastern (Eastern London) inspired “Setting Son”. Enjoy!”
“So,” says Martin Burley, “who do you think might get Man of the Match?”
74th over: England 243-2 (Cook 103, Root 92) Root plays yet another fierce sweep off Jadeja, this time for three. That takes him into the nineties and ends an unforgettable morning session. Alastair Cook bent Test cricket to his will one last time to reach his 33rd Test century. That’s an England record – as, quite possibly, is the number of standing ovations he has received in this game. He walks off to another, and it will be the same again when he returns after lunch. Adam Collins will be with you for the start of the afternoon session. Thanks for your company and emails, most of which I’ve not had chance to read because COOK BLEEDIN’ WELL DID IT!
“You said that might be the longest standing ovation you’ve seen,” says Matthew Engel. “You’ve never been to a Tory conference, have you?”
73rd over: England 240-2 (Cook 103, Root 89) Root, again falling over to the off side, survives a big LBW shout from Bumrah. It was going down. Cook is then beaten, driving looselWHO CARES.
Meanwhile, the best line of the morning comes from Richard O’Hagan: “Cook’s daughters really were applauding a daddy hundred.”
72nd over: England 238-2 (Cook 102, Root 88) Root plays another vicious sweep for four off Jadeja.
“The most anxious I’ve ever been was on the terraces (£3 Schoolboy ticket!) of Murrayfield in 1990, watching Scotland win an improbable Grand Slam…the worst was either big Gav missing from in front of the posts in the World Cup semi final the following year, or the infamous “Hand of Rob” [no relation] incident,” says Allan.
I think the most nervous I’ve been, on reflection, was during extra-time on 14 April 1999. I’d sell my soul 50 times over to relive that night.
71st over: England 231-2 (Cook 101, Root 83) Pete Salmon points out that Greg Chappell also got to his fairytale farewell century with four overthrows. How strange. Anyway, I couldn’t care less what happens now – bye!
70th over: England 231-2 (Cook 101, Root 81) The standing ovation went on for two or three minutes before Jadeja could resume his over, a rare instance in Test cricket of Goodwill Stops Play. I’m not sure I’ve seen a longer ovation than that.
Cook took an easy single off Jadeja, which would have taken him to 97, and then suddenly everyone realised a loose throw from Bumrah was flying to the boundary! Even before it got there, Cook had a huge grin on his face and his mate Jimmy Anderson was jumping around like a four-year-old.
Cook instantly dedicates the hundred to Piers Morgan raises his bat and hugs Joe Root as the entire ground gets to its feet. His little daughters are among them, proudly clapping daddy even though they probably have no idea why they’re clapping. It’s the loveliest scene, enough to make the most incorrigible misanthrope feel good about life. Alastair Cook has made a century in his final Test innings!
And he gets there with four overthrows!
69th over: England 225-2 (Cook 96, Root 81) Bumrah is going to have one last go at playing the pantomime villain. He comes on for Jadeja – and Cook drives him sweetly down the ground for four! A couple of singles take him to 96. If your boss comes over in the next few minutes and asks you do some work, any work, this is how you will respond.
“A.N. Cook is doing a very good impression of someone with quite a lot ‘left in the tank’,” says Ben Watson. “How do these tanks work, and might it be he’s misunderstood his tank?”
It’s definitely the right decision. As somebody who scored thousands of Test runs at the top of the order, I know just how much it takes out of you. His brain must be mush.
68th over: England 217-2 (Cook 90, Root 80) Cook cuts Vihari for a single to move into the nineties. There are 24 minutes to lunch, so it should be settled one way or another by then. That said, it would be very Cookish to calmly go to lunch on 99 not out.
67th over: England 214-2 (Cook 89, Root 79) Cook has been stuck on 89 for a few overs, though I think it’s down to Jadeja’s excellent bowling rather than a sudden attack of nerves. The last ball of the over kicks from a length and is pushed back short of the bowler by Cook.
“Rob,” says Brian Withington. “I feel your anxiety, mate (over 61). Reminds me of extra time during the World Cup final in ‘66 (otherwise known as Colin Milburn’s year). After Germany’s 90th minute equaliser I had to be assisted into the back garden for air and to recover my eight-year-old equilibrium. Courage mon brave – Bobby Moore and Alistair Cook are men of Essex. In Cook we trust.”
What’s the most nervous you’ve been watching sport? Edgbaston 2005 would be close, though I think I was still drunk so that took a bit of the edge off. Good job I wasn’t working that day. For all the bantermime, this doesn’t really compare – I hope he gets his hundred but it doesn’t matter. He’s already won.
66th over: England 213-2 (Cook 89, Root 78) Pant appeals for caught behind when Cook tries to cut Vihari. Kumar Dharmasena says not out, the correct decision both technically and morally.
“I think I might retire after this,” says Ian Copestake.
65th over: England 210-2 (Cook 89, Root 77) Cook works Jadeja for a single, safely wide of the man who has just been placed at leg slip. Later in the over he’s beaten by a delivery that keeps low. Jadeja is starting to look very threatening to Cook.
64th over: England 208-2 (Cook 88, Root 76) Cook milks Vihari for three more runs. He’s 12 away.
“Of the top twenty run scorers of all time, only Graeme Smith’s Test career was as short as Cook’s (both 12 years),” says Kevin Wilson. “You’re retiring too soon, Chef!”
For an all-time great his career has been relatively short, but only if you measure it in terms of years.
63rd over: England 205-2 (Cook 85, Root 76) Cook cuts Jadeja through extra cover for four, and then an inside-edge through the vacant leg slip area brings him another single. He’s 15 away from a milestone that means everything and nothing. BREAKING NEWS: I CANNOT HANDLE THIS.
Meanwhile Root, who has gone into overdrive since reaching his fifty, laps Jadeja round the corner for four more.
62nd over: England 194-2 (Cook 80, Root 71) The part-time offspinner Hanuma Vihari comes into the attack. Cook takes a couple of singles to move into the expectant eighties.
“Hi Rob,” says David Hopkins. “We’ve covering the few times the sporting gods have allowed a dream final Test. What about the times they hoofed us in the swingers instead? It still doesn’t compute that Simon Jones never played again after Trent Bridge 2005.”
That was a very slow, painful hoof in the swingers, lasting about three years before we realised he wouldn’t play again.
61st over: England 188-2 (Cook 78, Root 67) Cook, beaten earlier in the over by Shami, waves a single to move to within 22 OF A CENTURY IN HIS FINAL TEST OH MY GOD IT’S JUST DAWNED ON ME HOW CLOSE HE IS I CAN’T BREATHEICAN’TEFFINGBREATHE.
Root, meantime, pulls Shami for four to move to his favourite number.
“Joe Root looks back to his best,” says Dan Shepherd. “Please tell me he’s not retiring as well?”
It’s end-of-term delirium.
60th over: England 182-2 (Cook 77, Root 62) Root drives Jadeja for the sweetest of straight sixes. For the first time this summer, certainly in Test cricket, he looks like he’s having fun with the bat.
“Is anyone else holding their breath even more than usual when the page refreshes?” says Richard O’Hagan. “I’ve been fairly vocal about it being time for Cook to retire, but I don’t want to see him go just yet.”
No pressure on me, then. Her life was in your hands, Dude.
59th over: England 174-2 (Cook 76, Root 55) Cook again mistimes a pull, this time off Shami. Actually I’m not sure he hit it at all, though it was given as a run. He’ll be grateful for that if he’s out for a round 100. Another single takes Cook to 76, which means he moves past Kumar Sangakkara to become the fifth highest runscorer in Test history. And there goes another standing ovation!
“I’d very much enjoy Root declaring with Cook on 99,” honks Niall Mullen.
Thanks to Dave Langlois for the TMS link. Have a nice life y’all!
58th over: England 169-2 (Cook 74, Root 53) And that’s drinks.
57th over: England 167-2 (Cook 73, Root 52) Root brings up the hundred partnership before Cook survives another LBW shout, this time from Shami. It looked reasonably close, though replays showed there was an inside edge. Root survives a better shout later in the over when his head falls over to the off side again. I think it was sliding past leg stump. India have no reviews left anyway.
A boundary to third man brings up a jaunty, anonymous half-century from Root, his 42nd in Tests.
56th over: England 161-2 (Cook 72, Root 46) Root is dropped by Rahul at slip, a very difficult chance off the bowling of Jadeja. Root flashed off the back foot and the ball flew towards Rahul, who could only palm it on its way. Cook survives an LBW appeal later in the over; he was miles outside the line.
“Re: over 51,” begins Kevin Sims. “‘At the time of his death he was England’s oldest surviving Test cricketer.’ I would have thought that at the time of his death he was dead. Come on Chef.”
Fair point, though I can’t imagine the phrase “In the tantalising millisecond before he took his last breath, he was England’s oldest cricketer” ever catching on.
55th over: England 158-2 (Cook 70, Root 46) Shami replaces Bumrah. Cook square drives a single to move into the sensual seventies. He’s scored 24 from 41 balls this morning, having laboured for 46 from 125 last night.
“Can’t stop thinking about Cook writing his own script,” writes Pete Salmon. “I see him sitting up straight as a rod at the desk in his hotel, using a nondescript ballpoint, and having lovely handwriting. He’d do it ball by ball, perhaps drawing a wagon wheel on a separate sheet, using a ruler for the shots. A list of people to acknowledge with his bat on getting to 100. Perhaps write his way to a double century, but then tear out last two pages and stop at 120, so as not to be greedy. Pop it in an envelope under his pillow, get into sensible pyjamas, brush teeth and off to sleep to ‘listen again’ of The Choir on Radio 3.”
54th over: England 156-2 (Cook 69, Root 45) Root sweeps Jadeja fiercely through midwicket for four, a shot that registers so generously on the risk:reward scale that he does it again later in the over. This is a lovely situation for Root, who can accumulate quietly while all the attention is on Cook. He would like a century of his own; he hasn’t sscored one in Test cricket for over a year.
53rd over; England 146-2 (Cook 69, Root 35) Cook belts a square drive off Bumrah for two. It might have been four had the fielder been anyone other than the brilliant Jadeja. Cook gets those two runs anyway with a nicely time push through the covers. I hate to break it to you, but he’s playing with expectation-inducing authority this morning.
52nd over; England 141-2 (Cook 65, Root 34) Cook back cuts Jadeja crisply for four. He is scoring pretty quickly this morning, with 19 runs from 33 balls. Maybe he’s decided he can’t endure another four hours of propping and cocking.
“Correct, of course (45th over,),” says Ian Copestake. “You win an evening with another “player” who would be “good” in the dressing room: Mac Millings.”
51st over; England 135-2 (Cook 60, Root 33) Cook bottom-edges a pull off Bumrah, with the ball landing short of Pant. Cook has taken on the pull and hook at every opportunity this morning. He plays it well, though there is always risk against a bowler as slippery as Bumrah. Cook, who has been busy in the first half hour, takes another quick single later in the over.
“I think that Rodney Redmond played in glasses, but switching to contact lenses ruined his game,” says Richard O’Hagan. “Another one-Test wonder for health reasons was ‘Mandy’ Mitchell-Innes. He suffered badly from hay fever at a time when there were no effective anti-histamines, so actually refused a second cap as he was worried that he might sneeze and drop a vital catch. At the time of his death he was England’s oldest surviving Test cricketer.”
50th over; England 134-2 (Cook 59, Root 33) Oof. Jadeja skids an excellent delivery past Cook’s outside edge. Cook responds sensibly – by getting down the other end.
“I’m sure Cook’s going to finally emit moisture from his body after his innings today, at least from above his neck, but I’m still feeling sorry for Andy Sandham,” says Guy Hornsby. “What a way to go, though. With a paltry 22 average without that king-daddy, however. Very Cook 2018, I’d say.”
49th over; England 133-2 (Cook 58, Root 33) A beautiful short ball from Bumrah takes the shoulder of Root’s bat and flies through the vacant gully area. Then Cook is beaten, fencing instinctively at a wide delivery. Bumrah has been a spectacular addition to India’s Test team in 2018, and I can’t wait to see him bowl in Australia. He’s brilliant!
“I know it doesn’t strictly qualify, but the SCG Ashes game in 2003 could easily have been Steve Waugh’s last Test match,” says Brian Withington. “A fighting 100 completed off the last ball of the day’s play to extend his career was stirring stuff – even I was (grudgingly) willing him over the line and the crowd reaction when he made it was just tremendous. Don’t think it could have been scripted any better.”
Aye. For theatre, that’s hard to beat. I’ll never forget the atmosphere, and I was watching it on my own in my Mum’s living room
48th over; England 129-2 (Cook 57, Root 32) A fast over from Jadeja to Cook, in more ways than one, is a maiden.
“When was the last time Cook scored 50 in both innings?” asks Elliot Carr-Barnsley. “On which note, how often has he done it overall?”
I think the last time was against Pakistan at Old Trafford in 2016. He’s done it 13 times overall.
47th over; England 129-2 (Cook 57, Root 32) Sharma has left the field with a niggle, which explains why he was taken out of the attack. Bumrah is still at full ratpower, however, and rams a couple of pacy bouncers over Root’s head.
“A notable example of someone very definitely not writing their own farewell script is the 1970s New Zealand batsman Rodney Redmond, who played one Test, against Pakistan, in which he scored a hundred (very rapidly) and a fifty, and was never picked again,” says Steve Hudson. “I remember reading an interview with him after that Test in which he clearly thought the script would include a long and successful Test career.”
Yes, he’s like Andy Ganteaume’s forgotten cousin. Didn’t he have problems with contact lenses?
46th over; England 128-2 (Cook 56, Root 32) After one over from Ishant Sharma, Ravindra Jadeja comes into the attack. Virat is as Virat does. Cook, who has started breezily, gets another boundary with a confident drive through extra cover for four. Root, about whose innings almost nobody cares right now, dabs two more to third man.
“Jennings is reported as being ‘good in the dressing-room’,” says John Starbuck. “What does he do, play tricks, juggle?”
45th over; England 121-2 (Cook 52, Root 30) Cook works Bumrah off the pads for four to reach his second half-century of the match, which sparks yet another standing ovation. It also earns another £10,000 for Chance to Shine, thanks to Mick Jagger’s philanthropy. He tries to hook Bumrah later in the over and is beaten for pace.
“Final Test innings of a legend (of sorts): 16 in Kandy,” says Ian Copestake. “But who?”
Mungo Jerry?
(Graeme Hick.)
44th over; England 116-2 (Cook 47, Root 30) Alastair Cook walks out to another standing ovation. He puffs out his cheeks and prepares for one last push. He works his first delivery of the day, from Sharma, off the pads for a single. Root is then beaten, driving lazily away from his body.
“It was never intended to be his final innings,” says Richard O’Hagan, “but making his maiden hundred, double hundred and breaking the record for the highest score by a nightwatchman probably made Jason Gillespie happy enough.”
Yes, good one. These are the highest scores by a batsman in his final Test, though a lot of them, like Gillespie, didn’t know it was their final Test at the time. And hardly any of them had a hashtag.
Scriptwriting department “Your list of players who didn’t write their own final script got me thinking about those who did,” says Pete Salmon. “Nasser Hussain of course, but I still remember as a young pup watching Greg Chappell go out to bat needing 69 to pass Bradman as the highest run scorer for Australia. As nervous as I’ve ever seen him. Every run was agony, then he got it on overthrows. Went on to 182. Anyone else?”
Brendon McCullum and Jacques Kallis are two recent examples. Glenn McGrath, of course, was left agonisingly close to his maiden Test century when he ran out of partners.
I reckon the best ever farewell innings was Sunny Gavaskar’s 96 on a vile turner in Bangalore, even though it ended in desperate disappointment for him and the team. Any others?
Brunch reading
Morning! Great sportsmen write their own scripts – but they rarely have much say in the final scene. Donald Bradman, Muhammad Ali, Phil Taylor and Usain Bolt are among those whose goodbyes were accompanied by the unfamilar sensations of anticlimax and relative failure. The sporting gods are cold, hard, captain-of-industry types. They don’t really do sentiment. But they may be about to make an exception for Alastair Cook.
Cook will resume this morning on 46 not out, with everyone willing him to will himself to make 54 more runs. A century against India would be a neat way to finish a story that started 12 years ago with … a century against India.
Let us be honest, it’s a long shot: conditions are tricky for batting and Cook had a lot of luck yesterday. Sachin Tendulkar, Steve Waugh, Sunil Gavaskar and Shane Warne are among those who teased the prospect of a century in their last Test innings before falling short. But if anyone can extract one last bit of moisture from the well, it’s probably Cook. If he does, there will be a whole lot of moisture on the faces of those watching.
There is another potentially milestone to consider. If Cook reaches 76 he will overtake Kumar Sangakkara and move to fifth on the list of highest Test runscorers. As for the match, England will resume on 114 for two, a lead o- ah, who cares? C’mon Cooky!