A grim-faced Trevor Bayliss looked almost as stunned as his batsmen when invited to explain England’s lowest score against New Zealand. “I was certainly embarrassed,” the head coach said, “and I was not the only one in that dressing room feeling like that.”
England mustered 58 runs in their innings and it could have been more humiliating but for a last wicket-partnership of 31. “It was a very poor effort,” Bayliss said. “New Zealand bowled extremely well. We were extremely bad. We made a lot of mistakes with our footwork. The ball was swinging a bit and, when the ball is full, you have to play forward but we were still behind the crease to those full deliveries.
“When one person sneezes it seems that we all catch a cold. It’s not good enough. I don’t feel anger, more disappointment. We have to take it on the chin, sit down and work out what we can do better before the next innings.”
Bayliss was reluctant to blame the choice of personnel in the side – “We have got the best we can pick for England here” – nor did he focus too much on the limited preparation for this Test, which comprised a couple of two-day matches in Hamilton that were little more than glorified middle practice. “I suppose for the perfect build-up it would have been nice to play another game,” he said but, then again, this is already England’s longest tour since the early 1960s.
Neither the pink ball nor a well-grassed pitch could account for the ineptitude of England’s batsmen and this was demonstrated by the effortless way in which Kane Williamson compiled an unbeaten 91. Williamson might have been run out on 64 when a firm drive by Ross Taylor struck the stumps at the non-striker’s end but the review could not confirm the ball had flicked the fingers of the bowler, Chris Woakes, on the way. Bayliss was unequivocal about that incident: “It was out. We all know that Woakesy wouldn’t cheat anyone out – though we could appeal a bit harder. But that’s the game and we have just got to get on with it.”
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A jaffa which set the tone for the day, probably for the Test as well – and perhaps the series too. Coming from wide, Boult moved a full one away, and bat inexorably drawn towards its beauty, Cook edged to second slip.
Initially, England kept New Zealand’s scoring under control but with the ball not swinging they turned to spin. So Williamson came down the pitch and smashed through the line for six, quickly added four more, and he was away.
New Zealand snaffled everything, but this was special. Broad slashed at Southee and a thick outside-edge sent the ball screaming past gully, but Williamson flew to his left and retrieved it from behind him using only his fingertips.
4 – This is the fourth time in Test history that the 10th-wicket partnership has contributed more than 50% of the runs scored in an entire innings.
1 – This is the first time that New Zealand have bowled a team out using only two bowlers. The last team to do so was England against in 2013 – against New Zealand.
5 – England are the fifth team to be bowled out before the end of the first session of a Test match.
There was more disappointment in the return of Ben Stokes to Test cricket. He was bowled by Trent Boult for a duck – one of five batsmen who failed to score – and against expectation was not able to bowl when England took to the field after their 20.4 overs at the crease. “When he bowled off half his run he seemed OK but off his full run he started to feel something,” Bayliss said.
England’s chief destroyer with six wickets was Boult, who spoke of a “surreal” session. “Not in our wildest dreams did we expect anything like that. But it was good fun out there.” He explained how after so much one-day cricket the challenge was to pitch the ball up to allow it to swing, a task he met quite brilliantly. However Boult confirmed what we saw with the naked eye from the stands: “The ball was not swinging massively but, to use the old cliché, it was moving just enough.” Which was far too much for hapless English batsmen.