Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 280-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
I am “someone on twitter told me to be the bigger person and I said I am the bigger person and cried” weeks pregnant
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) January 4, 2018
I was never sure how my mom really felt about me.
Then she bought my kids a karaoke machine.
Now I know.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 31, 2017
Tried to sleep in today but my toddler just stood outside my door yelling, “SOMEONE no want to be my friend” until I gave up.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) December 30, 2017
“Now?!”
-kids, to almost everything
— TheAlexNevil (@TheAlexNevil) January 5, 2018
Hour 2 of this snow day and I’m prepared to go full-on Iditarod to get my kids to school tomorrow if necessary.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 4, 2018
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that toddler tantrums are 1000% louder in Costco.
— Ramblin’ Mama (@ramblinma) January 4, 2018
Kids: YAY A SNOW DAY!
Same kids, 3 minutes into power outage with no Internet: THIS IS TERRIBLE.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) January 4, 2018
Most of parenting is yelling “Hey!” while being ignored.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) January 4, 2018
I love torturing my 13 yo son by telling him I plan to start wearing overalls.
— Susan Orlean (@susanorlean) January 5, 2018
One of the joys of parenting a four year old is telling them your hometown invented bagels.
— Dan O’Brien (@danobrienwriter) January 4, 2018
I’m just a mom on winter break, standing in front of my kids’ school asking, “HOW BIG OF A CHECK DO I NEED TO WRITE FOR YOU TO RE-OPEN?”
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 2, 2018
My toddler just put a Cheeto in my belly button. How’s your day going?
— Tess Holliday ]]>🥀